Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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What happened?

Machine10033

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When I found this forum in 2002 I was 22 years old. I was fortunate enough to have an absolute blast in my 20’s and early 30’s. Vacations... hookups... great memories. During those years my goal was to get this out of my system and I believed in my 40’s-70’s the pace of my life should slow down and be more stable.

fast forward I’m 43 now... married and have that life. I have no desire to go out and live like I did in my 20’s. I am noticing it seems like I am in the minority.

My friends are always trying to book guys trips to locations where they can find females their age to hook up with. I go on one of these trips a year I enjoy being around them but am on a completely different schedule. I go... golf... workout...eat, have a few drinks then hit the hay. They go out until 2am hunting for married chicks. Usually I wake up and there are random Middle Aged females they are getting rid of before our tee times.

I see this all over now... groups of middle aged.. to actual geriatric aged groups running around acting like they are 20. What do you think caused this change... or was this always happening and I just never noticed when younger ?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Doctor Europeo

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Peter Pan Syndrome, maybe. I have friends who took forever to finish college, I finished my second post graduate degree before they finished college. I alway thought they felt like they wouldnt be "young" anymore if they ever finished college.

Or your friends never found and pulled a quality woman. They, like many posters here, will say stuff like "There are no unicorns", which is a good mentality to have when going through a bad break up, but its a cope or just kind of sad imho.

Or they feel they married too young. They feel they didnt play the field enough.
 
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Machine10033

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I alway thought they felt like they wouldnt be "young" anymore if they ever finished college.
it does sort of feel like some type of midlife crisis for them. I honestly have had to start spending less time with them. When they do want to meet up it’s at an event where they can try and meet Middle Aged females.

I’m honestly considering opting out of our annual golf trip. I might as well go to a beach town on my own... relax... workout and get some r and r.... I feel bad but im no longer 20 and am grateful I no longer live like that
 

BoomToTheMoonAlice

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When I found this forum in 2002 I was 22 years old. I was fortunate enough to have an absolute blast in my 20’s and early 30’s. Vacations... hookups... great memories. During those years my goal was to get this out of my system and I believed in my 40’s-70’s the pace of my life should slow down and be more stable.

fast forward I’m 43 now... married and have that life. I have no desire to go out and live like I did in my 20’s. I am noticing it seems like I am in the minority.

My friends are always trying to book guys trips to locations where they can find females their age to hook up with. I go on one of these trips a year I enjoy being around them but am on a completely different schedule. I go... golf... workout...eat, have a few drinks then hit the hay. They go out until 2am hunting for married chicks. Usually I wake up and there are random Middle Aged females they are getting rid of before our tee times.

I see this all over now... groups of middle aged.. to actual geriatric aged groups running around acting like they are 20. What do you think caused this change... or was this always happening and I just never noticed when younger ?
I used to be at night clubs 5 days a week in my 20's. All that bs loses its appeal after a certain age. I tried skateboarding recently and thought "Why am I the only one wearing a helmet?"... I thought maybe there was some reasoning behind it but I came to find out young people see safety gear as 'uncool' now and would rather get a TBI or some other traumatic injury. That's when I realized that I'm too old for this sh1t. I no longer care what is cool... and I guess a lot of my hobbies involved that component when I was younger.

A lot of the guys who are still hung up on getting chicks in their 40s and going out 'partying' never had the balls to do it in their 20s. The 18+ nightclubs are just sausage fests and the 40 y/o's walking around raves are cr33py asf. I remember seeing the odd old guy walking around Candy Raver parties when I was in my 20s and thinking to myself "What a loser".



I used to be the bad kid, now I'm the principal. :D
 
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"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Machine10033

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lot of the guys who are still hung up on getting chicks in their 40s and going out 'partying' never had the balls to do it in their 20s. The 18+ nightclubs are just sausage fests and the 40 y/o's walking around raves are cr33py asf.
lol ! Exactly ! I remember even in my 20’s thinking man this scene is gross but I would pull chicks.... thankfully the only thing elseI pulled was pinkeye once and a few colds

I would wake up at some girls apartment hung over.. feeling awkward... and hoping I wouldn’t need a course of antibiotics or worse!

I also remember the old guys usually juiced out of their minds wearing affliction shirts or Ed hardy shirts.... and feeling sad. Thinking if this is me in my 40’s and 50’s.... I might lay down in traffic
 

BoomToTheMoonAlice

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lol ! Exactly ! I remember even in my 20’s thinking man this scene is gross but I would pull chicks.... thankfully the only thing elseI pulled was pinkeye once and a few colds

I would wake up at some girls apartment hung over.. feeling awkward... and hoping I wouldn’t need a course of antibiotics or worse!

I also remember the old guys usually juiced out of their minds wearing affliction shirts or Ed hardy shirts.... and feeling sad. Thinking if this is me in my 40’s and 50’s.... I might lay down in traffic
That's how Extinction Rebellion happened.
 

Murk

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It's what happens when you don't get tied down and lay foundations with a sub 8.

It's always been happening, why would your 20-year-old self know or care what middle-aged men are doing? Enjoy your married family life, you made your bed, now lie in it, forever.
 

Slowhandluke

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I see this all over now... groups of middle aged.. to actual geriatric aged groups running around acting like they are 20. What do you think caused this change... or was this always happening and I just never noticed when younger ?
it's called divorce and people not getting married. when I was longer, older people had kids and obligations. now adults have at most 1 kid to worry about if any, and more free time. times have changed.
 

Plinco

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"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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