"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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what happened?

Fly-err

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Went to prom last night with a blind date as posted in my other thread and it didn't go as expected. I'm working all my game on her and she's falling for it getting all close and whatever but nothing happened. She didn't want to hit the dance floor, even tho she's a hip hop dancer. I'm assuming it was because she didn't know me well enough to grind but thats a lame excuse in my opinion. When I even tried getting her to move she wouldn't make any eye contact. I was able to isolate her to talk so for the rest of prom, I kept up about 6 hours of straight conversation with her, I mean like no dead points. I brought up sexual terms, ****y and funny, kino, and all but nothing happened in the end. There was no moment where she would've leaned closer, most likely due to eye contact. I don't think she ever looked at me straight when we were talking, just staring into space or some chair in front of me. It was at that point that I just became tired of talking and playing games with her by the end of the night.

So what could I have done better in this situation? I'm not taking "she was not interested" as an answer.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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eaglez1177

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Fly-err said:
Went to prom last night with a blind date as posted in my other thread and it didn't go as expected. I'm working all my game on her and she's falling for it getting all close and whatever but nothing happened. She didn't want to hit the dance floor, even tho she's a hip hop dancer. I'm assuming it was because she didn't know me well enough to grind but thats a lame excuse in my opinion. When I even tried getting her to move she wouldn't make any eye contact. I was able to isolate her to talk so for the rest of prom, I kept up about 6 hours of straight conversation with her, I mean like no dead points. I brought up sexual terms, ****y and funny, kino, and all but nothing happened in the end. There was no moment where she would've leaned closer, most likely due to eye contact. I don't think she ever looked at me straight when we were talking, just staring into space or some chair in front of me. It was at that point that I just became tired of talking and playing games with her by the end of the night.

So what could I have done better in this situation? I'm not taking "she was not interested" as an answer.
Well first off, why the fvck would you ever waste 6 hours talking to a girl at a prom? Dumb move on your part. If she kept on resisting to dance, then why would you let it sort of ruin your night? You shouldve forgotten about this bad prom date and gamed other girls and then danced with them. If things are going bad, you back off from the girl, give her some space, game up some other girls, try to get as much as you can from them, and then maybe come back to the original girl again to see where things go.

Secondly, its very obvious that she wasnt interested at all. But hey, thats the risk you take when you go to prom with a girl you've never met before. Its usually better to go with a girl that is at least somwhat already interested, just so that its even easier to get some ass. Clearly she was not "falling for" your game. And yes, theres NO WAY that the reason you two didnt dance was cuz she didnt know you well enough.

Another possibly is that you could've been trying too hard. Yes, this often screws over a lot of guys, and heck, it still happens to myself sometimes. Guys will just throw everything they possibly have at a girl, not realizing that theyre making it soo obvious to her that they just want ass, and thus the girl views them as just yet another desperate chump.

Prom is also a very active event. Its not meant for just a whole bunch of talking. You have to be ACTIVE at a prom. Move around, get hyped up, have an upbeat attitude, be happy. Dont be fvcking lame and just sit in a chair talking about some random bs. If I was in your shoes, I wouldve done all the things I just listed, along with throwing in some briefly flirtatious conversation in the beginning, and then told the girl to come out and dance with me. If nothing, I wouldve probably gone to approach other girls to dance with them, and then if I felt like it, Id probably give the original girl another chance to dance with me. If still nothing, then thats two strikes (idk if you've heard of the two strike rule), and then I wouldve nexted her completely.
 

Fly-err

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Yeah I would definitely take that suggestion but wouldn't you find it kinda rude if you have this girl come with you and then you just ditch her for the rest of the night? The problem with this prom was that everyone had to go as a couple, meaning I couldn't really game on chicks that were always riding the guy next to me. The only two things to do at prom was sit and eat at a ****ing table or hit the floor. Since she didn't choose the latter, I'm stuck with the first. When I tried dancing with her, I almost felt completely ignored since she made no eye contact giving me no reason to even bother dancing with her.

I think she might've taken it the wrong direction also. I mean sure hooking up couldve been the second part to the night but I would rather have more fun with her than anything else. The conversations that I remember didnt sound too needy or chump on my part, just casual natural flow to get her going. I mean I even got her to do karaoke with me up on the stage. I just want to learn from this because any other dance I've gone to with my date has never let me down. I usually have the most fun of the entire year at these, at least while sober. Just want to know where I ****ed up during prom because she was all hyper and flirty at my place.
 

eaglez1177

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Fly-err said:
Yeah I would definitely take that suggestion but wouldn't you find it kinda rude if you have this girl come with you and then you just ditch her for the rest of the night? The problem with this prom was that everyone had to go as a couple, meaning I couldn't really game on chicks that were always riding the guy next to me. The only two things to do at prom was sit and eat at a ****ing table or hit the floor. Since she didn't choose the latter, I'm stuck with the first. When I tried dancing with her, I almost felt completely ignored since she made no eye contact giving me no reason to even bother dancing with her.

I think she might've taken it the wrong direction also. I mean sure hooking up couldve been the second part to the night but I would rather have more fun with her than anything else. The conversations that I remember didnt sound too needy or chump on my part, just casual natural flow to get her going. I mean I even got her to do karaoke with me up on the stage. I just want to learn from this because any other dance I've gone to with my date has never let me down. I usually have the most fun of the entire year at these, at least while sober. Just want to know where I ****ed up during prom because she was all hyper and flirty at my place.
Rude? No. Theres no way going off to some other chicks is beind rude to your prom date. Absolutely not. If anything, shes the one being rude, because she was being such a lame prom date.

How many times did you try to get her to dance with you?
 

Fly-err

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Tried about 3 times. The first was when not many people were on the dance floor so I actually wouldn't count that. The second was after I did my coat check and brought her with me. She made no eye contact at all and barely even tried to dance. She was always staring behind her or up at the ceiling looking for something. Even when I tried talking to her or touched her to pay attention, she would go right back looking the other way. So I brought her away from everyone else to see what's up and she just didn't want to dance. I told her it was prom, there is going to be dancing, so she said maybe later.

The third time when I brought her, she did the same thing again, a little more bouncing maybe, I didn't really notice. This time she said she doesn't like to dance this way (grinding). So I told her don't look at other people, just dance how you want to dance. No go. My school also had a post prom party to "stop after parties" (didn't work) that went till 2:30 and I tried once more to get her moving here since everyone was dancing all casual. Nope, she just stood and watched everyone else dance.

So since she didn't want to dance, I tried playing games with her because post prom had different activities like logrolling, human bowling ball, basketball, whack a mole, etc. She played one game of basketball (the arcade style) and thats it. Just a boring person to hang out with even though she talks so much about how outgoing she is. But when we got to my place, she knew some of my friends here and acted all cool with everything. That's why I'm thinking she ruined my night because she was shy and worried about what everyone thought about her.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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eaglez1177

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Well anything she says, whether it be being a hip hop dancer or being very outgoing, is totally irrelevant. You have to look at girls based off their actions.

To be honest, aside from the few things I listed in my first reply, you probably didnt do much else wrong. This whole situation just seems like it was all mainly the girl's fault. My guess is that shes just not a very outgoing person, is very shy, is insecure, and just felt uncomfortable and awkward at a prom where she literally knew nobody.
 

Fly-err

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eaglez1177 said:
My guess is that shes just not a very outgoing person, is very shy, is insecure, and just felt uncomfortable and awkward at a prom where she literally knew nobody.
That's what I'm thinking too. Just didn't want to be herself...
 
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