What happened to me today and where I need to pay more attention

[IKO69]

My female cousin flew in the other day and I decided to show her the city. We took the train since we'd avoid traffic. On the way back it was really crowded since it was in the afternoon but there was two empty seats and she sat down. Facing her was a girl, a really pretty one, the type I don't think would ever go for me so I didn't bother and had my back turned to her as I was standing and talking to my cousin. After a while my cousin said the particular girl kept staring at me so I was like no way and sat down to look. She reached over and started messing around with the bottom of her pants for some reason when they were fine and then started writing texts with this big grin on her face. As she was doing all the above she didn't really really stare at all except maybe a few glances here and there but once i'd meet her eyes she'd quickly move them somewhere else which I didnt take to mean much.

When we got off my cousin was looking at me funny and was like dude i think that girl possibly liked you. I said No way she was way too good and probably taken and then she said I was really bad. She then told me it was obvious because she kept looking in my direction and the whole texting thing was a trick because there wasnt any reception under the tunnel so how could she pretend to send and receive them. To keep it short I didn't believe any of it and I maintained she was probably already taken and if she was interested she would've been more direct and we than stopped talking about it but later on it dawned on me that she could've been right. Given that it if things like the above do mean something, although subtle, I could very well have missed many opportunities I wasn't aware of and thinking back I can think of many examples where similar happened and I had a feeling about it but didn't act on it. Before I would make excuses about everything being against me, something being wrong with my looks (i'm actually not bad looking), not being rich enough etc. but I think the chances were always there and I may have expected far too much out of women initially

 

[terran2k]

what you mean "missed many opportunities I wasn't aware of"?? you were aware of it; what you're doing it trying to make excuses for you being afraid. when you admit that to yourself, you'll be better off.
I've been afraid many times; I'm not perfect; happens.

 

[Kailex]

Your cousin WAS right.

You just don't want to see it. You'd rather justify your inaction by making up dream scenarios in which you two would never be able to go out in.

Terrible self-defeatist attitude to have.
You basically ruled YOURSELF out before she could even have a chance to wonder if she's going to rule you out, first.

You missed out on a good chance.

 

[IKO69]

Your cousin WAS right.

You just don't want to see it. You'd rather justify your inaction by making up dream scenarios in which you two would never be able to go out in.

Terrible self-defeatist attitude to have.
You basically ruled YOURSELF out before she could even have a chance to wonder if she's going to rule you out, first.

You missed out on a good chance.

correct. the reason i posted it is so guys reading it will not make the same mistake(s) i have made....if the opportunity is good go get it done. what i posted has happened to me more times than i can count or "well mike i liked you at first but....." why a but? because i'd second guess the whole thing and stop trying to move things forward or just give up entirely. there was always some excuse to be made to not move things forward.... so dont do it. as for me i was disappointed but it's not all negative. from this i will learn so i won't do it again in the future and will have success in the future with quality, fun and nice looking women

 

[Black Dog]

Facing her was a girl, a really pretty one, the type that I don't think would ever go for me so I didn't bother and had my back turned to her as I was standing and talking to my cousin.

Personally I think the problem lies a little deeper than you being afraid of one girl. What's with this bullsh*t attitude man? Don't allow yourself to excersise a mindset like this, that there are girls out there who wouldn't be into you. It's the other way around; there are girls out there that YOU should ignore.

You wouldn't know for sure if she "would ever go for you" unless you GOT YOUR ASS OUT OF THE TRAIN SEAT, talked to her and she flat-out told you, 'get the hell out of my face.' Lol unless she said that, you just kick yourself in the nuts wondering 'what if.'

Its cool man, just a mistake but don't make it a pattern, you might have just got anxiety around your cousin, or a train full of people-- I would too but I'm trying to work on that myself.

 

[Black Dog]

Facing her was a girl, a really pretty one, the type that I don't think would ever go for me so I didn't bother and had my back turned to her as I was standing and talking to my cousin.

Personally I think the problem lies a little deeper than you being afraid of one girl. What's with this bullsh*t attitude man? Don't allow yourself to excersise a mindset like this, that there are girls out there who wouldn't be into you. It's the other way around; there are girls out there that YOU should ignore.

You wouldn't know for sure if she "would ever go for you" unless you GOT YOUR ASS OUT OF THE TRAIN SEAT, talked to her and she flat-out told you, 'get the hell out of my face.' Lol unless she said that, you just kick yourself in the nuts wondering 'what if.'

Its cool man, just a mistake but don't make it a pattern, you might have just got anxiety around your cousin, or a train full of people-- I would too but I'm trying to work on that myself.

 

[brekke]

My female cousin flew in the other day and I decided to show her the city.

You need really good game to get with your female cousins. They are usually not into that sort of thing.