What goes up, must come down.

[killerasp]

OKay. if you guys been keeping tabs on me...i just had my first real date last night. I invited her over for dinner, had the wine, candles set the mood and ended with a kiss but not before giving each other massages.

But what goes up, must come down.

My friends were having a party at the house for homecoming weekend. Its all good, considering i met her there, i knew she was gonna be there. My gut said not to go, its too soon. Well, i should have listen to my gut. I see her there, right off the bat, i had to cringing knot in my stomach, i knew things were gonna get werid. I cant elaborate on what was werid, but it was feeling werid. My boys knew just by looking at me that i wasnt having a good time. They told me to hell with her and have a good time. So i did. I tried my best to, i thought i was stronger..i held up as long as i could. I just couldnt stand being there. It had to be done. I was vibing at all at that party.

I said my goodbye to everyone telling them i had to crash early cus the rents were coming into town tomorrow, which they are. But even her roommate whom im close with didnt buy it. she wanted me to say but i couldnt. i wanted, but looking at my dates face and her actions through out the night, it was werid. i didnt want to ruin their time so i just bounced.

though i was stronger than that, but i wasnt.

 

[echo1212]

You need to need more specific before we can help. What exactly was your date doing at dinner and more specifically at the party to give you such a bad feeling? More details my friend.

 

[killerasp]

she wasnt flirting with no one else if that is what you meant.

i was doing my normal thing and when i would try to start up a convo with her and her roommate, somehow they would wind up leaving or i could be standing to a friend and they would see and move away.

we were never in the same room and didnt look at each other. i know it sounds childish, but i didnt know how to handle it other than try to have a good time with all my friends.

 

[echo1212]

In this case just consider it good practice for dating.. and next her. You played it well..not much else to be said.

 

[jakethasnake]

Never discount the fact that SHE may also be inexperienced or socially awkward. I can tell, judging from her immature behavior. What is she, a 9th grader? Avoiding you? wtf?

I mean, when I was your age at school I made out with a cute blonde from Kansas that I liked (and who was also totally into me at a frat party, then for some reason told her at the end of the night that it "was a mistake". To this day I have no idea why. It's as if my mouth had a mind of it's own, or that the reactionary side of my brain had control over the logical part. The worst part of it all was that we were in the same section that was meeting the VERY next day! And to make things worse, the only seat left in the classroom was the one right next to her. LOL... talk about awkward silences. She was never quite the same around me after that day.

My point is that when you're in college and just getting out of your shell, near EVERYONE behaves irrationally or irratically. Think about it... only a small percentage of highschool students are of the outgoing, socially competant, charismatic, in-crowd variety... most are inbetween or even from the 'lower' ranks. So all these awkward kids are stretching their arms for the first time in college where no one has a past history, and you are bound to see some awkward, inconsistent behavior. Consistency is not the strong suit of a college boy/girl. In fact, it's so bad for some people that it goes on into middle age! Lol...


So forget everything that happened - muster up the courage and call her, and ask her to meet you briefly. And do NOT agree to tell her what's up over the phone. You must insist on meeting her in person. Then just be calm and dont look hurt or agitated. Just ask her, "So... what's up? We didn't get to talk last night. I wanted to approach you, but you were buried amongst your friends..."

Her reaction to the question will determine your next course of action: either avoidance - in which case you should tell her upfront to forget the whole thing, or an apology - in which case you should give her a yellow flag for sketchy IL and keep her on the backburner.

Hey kid... you did okay. No need to hang your head like that. It's time for round 2 - go hit on another girl for now!

 

[killerasp]

Originally posted by jakethasnake

Hey kid... you did okay. No need to hang your head like that. It's time for round 2 - go hit on another girl for now!

Jake, you are the man and once again you came through helped me out. thanks a alot jake.

 

[killerasp]

Originally posted by jakethasnake


So forget everything that happened - muster up the courage and call her, and ask her to meet you briefly. And do NOT agree to tell her what's up over the phone. You must insist on meeting her in person. Then just be calm and dont look hurt or agitated. Just ask her, "So... what's up? We didn't get to talk last night. I wanted to approach you, but you were buried amongst your friends..."

Her reaction to the question will determine your next course of action: either avoidance - in which case you should tell her upfront to forget the whole thing, or an apology - in which case you should give her a yellow flag for sketchy IL and keep her on the backburner.

im guessing when i do talk to her, i shouldnt admit that it felt weird, or do i?