Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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What exactly is going on here?

throwaway

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Underlying question: What does it mean when a girl talks to you about relationships?

This girl and I have known each other for a while but we've only been really talking (a lot) for the past 2 weeks or so, so we're not amazing friends. I've started to like her and I try to drop hints, flirt, kino, whatever, but we've only been cool for a short period of time and she is a very shy girl, so it's been limited to not freak her out. She's done stuff like grab my arm and put her head on it when we were taking a picture. She hugged me after I got her number from her. She's texted me with a lot of smilies and laughs at everything I say (we've texted quite a lot since I got her #). We've even talked on the phone for 2 hours one night, which I know is weird for her because she's told me she takes a while to get comfortable around people. And we hung out after school for a while one day. And yes, we talk a lot whenever I see her in person. She compliments me and says I'm cool, funny, whatever. Those all seem like signs she's into me, right? She definitely showed the signs of liking me first.

But anyway, lately she's been talking about relationships and being lonely and not having a boyfriend and stuff. It's definitely been a topic of conversation between us. I wouldn't say it's venting but it's definitely been open discussion from her about her feelings. What exactly does this mean? It's just weird, I wouldn't expect a girl who has trouble being comfortable and opening up to people to say this stuff to someone she just became cool with. Is she dropping hints or not?

Because this is where I get confused: consider ^that, and the fact she told me the day after we hung out that she doesn't want to lead me on and she wants things to be normal between us... and am I in the effing friend zone? When I put it all together, I think it seems like she likes me, UNTIL I get to this part...

It just sucks because I think we'd be really good together, especially if she's saying these type of things about boyfriends. Could use some help here, I can't get this figured out in my head. I'm seriously confused. Can I get some type of gameplan, especially if I'm getting dangerously close to the friend zone?
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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LearningSlowly

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Be confident. Be BRAVE. Make the changes you want to see in your life. Sounds like she likes you. You should kiss her.
 

twentee

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she is a KID, man, so are you. don't push it. you could easily have to go to different schools different places for work. she is being realistic, that's all. friends FIRST, especially at that age. it can take several years, relax.
 

throwaway

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LearningSlowly said:
Be confident. Be BRAVE. Make the changes you want to see in your life. Sounds like she likes you. You should kiss her.
Good advice, I've definitely been acting on it rather than just knowing it this time around.

So you're saying act now?

twentee said:
she is a KID, man, so are you. don't push it. you could easily have to go to different schools different places for work. she is being realistic, that's all. friends FIRST, especially at that age. it can take several years, relax.
I know.
 

Eph

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sounds like shes dropping hints or your her new girlfriend. Given how much you say you two talk Id say your her new girlfriend but theres only one way to know for sure. Good luck
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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throwaway

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Eph said:
sounds like shes dropping hints or your her new girlfriend. Given how much you say you two talk Id say your her new girlfriend but theres only one way to know for sure. Good luck
Thanks. I've cut back on the communicating a little over the past few days. Our limited texting has been a little less flirty and more straight forward since she last talked about relationships. Still, only thing I can do is find out how she's feeling about me.
 
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