There's this girl that I've been talking to for the past couple weeks. She's really flirty when were by each other (playful touching, teasing, etc.), and were always laughing and having a good time. Today while we were at the mall I went to go look at something and when I got back she was on the phone. I figured it was one of her girl friends, but I soon found it was some other guy. She seemed really secretive about it and wouldnt let me know who it was. What exactly does this mean? I know it's good for a guy to do this because in a way it makes the girl more attracted to you. This did just the opposite for me, and I'm really starting to question whether I want to be with this girl or not. Any opinions or comments are greatly appreciated. Thanks!
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
What does this mean?
- Thread starter duke104
- Start date
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
base2ball2boy2
Don Juan
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Hmmmm... Sounds like just like something that happened to me.
But it sounds like she's friend-zoned you; I hate to break it to ya.
The first thing that triggered me was:
The real killer here is that she knows you have interest in you. The fact that she was trying to cover-up her call with Mr. Unknown shows that she was trying to keep you from leaving her.
You've done the right thing, questioning if she's the girl for you. Let me answer that question, based upon what I've learned and experienced with girls of this caliber (which was pretty much my high school career):
NEXT!
But it sounds like she's friend-zoned you; I hate to break it to ya.
The first thing that triggered me was:
Girls decide instantly whether or not they are interested (as do us guys) in another male. The longer it takes, the more likely she is going to move you into the friend-zone. The fact that it took you a "couple of weeks" probably sealed the deal. Some girls are just naturally flirty and they have no interest in you, they just like casting their feminine charm over us guys (as I've found out).
The real killer here is that she knows you have interest in you. The fact that she was trying to cover-up her call with Mr. Unknown shows that she was trying to keep you from leaving her.
You've done the right thing, questioning if she's the girl for you. Let me answer that question, based upon what I've learned and experienced with girls of this caliber (which was pretty much my high school career):
NEXT!
Scars
Master Don Juan
Don't listen to this guy.base2ball2boy2 said:
To the OP: She did not friend-zone you. The fact is she is a SINGLE woman and you are a SINGLE man. You are not dating. That means she can talk to whoever she wants and so do you. If you had been spinning different plates then this would not bother you. The only way to pass this test is to not care, TRULY not care. The kind of apathy that comes from knowing you already have some bench warmers waiting for you. As soon as one girl acts up, you switch another one into play. However, this girl did nothing wrong. You said you've only been talking to her for a couple weeks, you can't expect her to just drop every guy she is talking to immediately for you.
It's obvious she already has some attraction invested into you. (Flirting, friendly touching etc..) so you are doing good. Now she is going to test your emotional reactions, and it's up to you whether you pass or fail. Don't even worry about the other males, pretend they don't exist, all YOU need to focus on is increasing her interest towards you. This will come from not getting jealous over other guys. Treat her the exact same way as you have. Get her feeling amazing around you, increase the kino and playful touching, REMIND HER why she loves being around you. If you stick to this confident frame then slowly she is going to weed out the other competitor males. You are going to be all she thinks about.
But more importantly, ALWAYS keep spinning plates. It will keep your head on straight. Instead of having to fake all this confidence and apathy why not really enjoy the fruits of it? This can only be obtained from knowing the fact you have plenty of options. Don't ever tell the girl, let her know through your body language, make her wonder.
-Scars
base2ball2boy2
Don Juan
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Scars said:
Okay, I hate to be shut out so blatantly, so just hear me out. I don't want to start a flame war (as I'll probably lose), I just feel compelled to reply here.
From what I've read, it seems we have two differing opinions here. I'm sure the gentlemen who posted above me probably has years of experience (judging by his posts and reputation dot thingies), and I can see his perspective. But I feel I've given a perspective on a more younger female (teens and maybe twenties), while my counterpart above me has given advice for a slightly older woman (not necessarily a cougar, but more mature).
But now the one person who needs to speak is Mr. duke104. We have two valid opinions here, me speaking from personal experience, and Mr. Scars speaking from wisdom and knowledge. Which category does the lady in question fall into?
And in case I have upset anyone (unintentionally), I will end with a joke a friend of mine told me the other day:
What do you call a blonde girl who has dyed their hair brown?
False intelligence!
She's 20 years old. Both of you bring up valid points. I think i should give a little background info first. I've known this girl a couple years, but we never talked until about 2-3 weeks ago. After reading a lot of these forums and whatnot, I've begun to change the way I act and apply some of these tips and I think that's what led to all the flirty stuff and possibly the attraction.
base2ball2boy2: No offense taken. I've read a lot of stuff about the friend zone, and I really don't feel as if I'm in it; I've always been ****y/funny around her and I never really did anything to her in a "just friends" way.
scars: I like your thinking. I do know other girls and I do have options. How can I make this known to her without making it obvious and making myself look like a dbag?
base2ball2boy2: No offense taken. I've read a lot of stuff about the friend zone, and I really don't feel as if I'm in it; I've always been ****y/funny around her and I never really did anything to her in a "just friends" way.
scars: I like your thinking. I do know other girls and I do have options. How can I make this known to her without making it obvious and making myself look like a dbag?
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.