what does this mean...girl really pi**ing me off

[Uncharted]

Delete her number and ignore any new texts. It's for the best. We are trying to help.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

update...got another text saying guess you dont even care to acknowledge . I returned that i was not fighting etc and that i was not going to ask or try to make plans anymore and that i was going to take sometime to improve my life. then i said you have my number. Also i asked her what did she mean by that text. still no reply.

She has you wrapped around her finger and can manipulate you whenever she wants.

You did well by not responding to her initial sympathy text, then went right back to being the good little lap dog by responding to her next text.

She's using you bro!! And I could understand if you were banging her regularly and there were a lot of good times mixed in between this all, but your her phone buddy at this point.

If you really want her to change her behavior, you have to show her that your willing to walk. And once you maintain no contact with her for a while, hopefully you will open up your eyes and see that the table scraps she is offering you is bullshyt....

Get rid of her.







PIMP

 

[Brosy]

Because he doesn't realize just how SCHITTY he is being treated. Like a frog being boiled alive, when it creeps up on you, you don't see it coming. Happens to the best of us. Hopefully, we learn to recognize it and avoid it.

Here is how it works.
1. Girl gets guy interested, and is nice. He is nice back. He gets hopes up.
2. A few dates ensue, in which he pays, thereby setting the frame that he is pursuing HER.
3. Never satisfied with a BIT of power, she treats him like SCHITT.....to see if he tells her to go F herself, in which case she realizes he is a real man and passed with flying colours and she begins pursuing him....OR he gets his feeling hurt, wonders what he has done worng, and sucks up and chases. Power shifts more to her at this point. HE cares more about the relationship than she does.

4. He chases harder, this disgusts her slightly, and she lets him know by treating him even worse than she would a bum on the streets. He won't stand up for himself, so she loses what respect she has, and treats him worse and worse.

5. The cycle repeats until she can't stand the sight of him and "breaks up" with him OR he finally has enough and says "FVCK you!". . Guess what happens next? Not always - but often - she sees a man with backbone and comes sniffing around again or apologizes, etc. He has FINALLY demonstrated higher value and put her in her place. What he should have done at the first dis-respect, not the 25th.

We all make these mistakes I believe. Marriage runs a similar vein, but the beauty of being single is the freedom to say FVCK YOU and walk away. Not so simple with kids and assets on the line.

Perfectly articulated, that's exactly how it goes down.

 

[fuko2007]

She has you wrapped around her finger and can manipulate you whenever she wants.

You did well by not responding to her initial sympathy text, then went right back to being the good little lap dog by responding to her next text.

She's using you bro!! And I could understand if you were banging her regularly and there were a lot of good times mixed in between this all, but your her phone buddy at this point.

If you really want her to change her behavior, you have to show her that your willing to walk. And once you maintain no contact with her for a while, hopefully you will open up your eyes and see that the table scraps she is offering you is bullshyt....

Get rid of her.







PIMP

yeh i thought about it after i texted her back since she gave me the old guilt trip for not responding. she did say she has been being a ***** but no apology ...at this point im NC ...and will stick to it. as soon as i texted her back she got her control back and knows she still has me in her grip. but ill keep my NC going from this point on no matter how much it sucks. keep the advice rolling in and ill keep posting what's going on...getting out of work early...figuer ill go work out some

 

[fuko2007]

I will say it once more...get your stuff back....then never respond again.

texted at 5 to see if i could get my stuff...still no response

 

[fuko2007]

got a text back around 7 saying i went and ate with my dad packing for business trip you can stop by if you WANT. i didnt feel to good so i said i was busy and would try again later when she got back. was that a **** test?

 

[fuko2007]

well havnt talked to her since i turned down what i think was a **** test. She is out of town on a businees trip so i have taken this time to build my inventory up. I talked to several girls and have one im intrested in. Think we are going to hang out after work.

 

[fuko2007]

Need some helping words and tips now guys. we were talking a week ago havnt talked since then. the convo was along the same lines of how she cant do 24/7 and is stressed that why she hasnt wanted to have sex etc and that she does not want to hurt me. at the end of the convo she made the comment that i should go out and have sex with younger girls that want to all the time. Then she added she just didnt want to know about it. Im still trying to figuer that one out. But its day 8 of NC for me. she has texted me one this past wednesday with an alt contact number while her phone was getting fixed. I never said anything back. But the urge to contact her is growing for some reason. Still have my ipod and a few other things at her house tho. Need some help guys ...im trying hard but feels like the urge to drive by her house or call or text is growing

 

[fuko2007]

Everyone is sick of wasting their time on you.


You have had two weeks to get your $hit from her house and go NC permanently, but you have not done it.

Bottom line, you are insanely crazy about an immature h0r who is 15 years your senior.

You can't stop yourself from contacting her, and from her constant push/pull actions it appears that she "may" have BPD.

Have a read here, maybe it will help.


Regardless of her diagnosis, you are in the physical prime of your life and you are wasting it away on an old woman who doesn't give two $hits about you or anyone other than herself.

Frankly, you don't deserve the help from anyone here because clearly you refuse to help yourself.

well i can see where your coming from. but it was my choice to go nc. took everyones advice and did it for me. just walked without my stuff so not to cause any further problems

 

[fuko2007]

You did not take everyone's advice, because you still have not taken your stuff, and you are still in contact with her for fvk's sake.

You. Have. Done. Nothing.

ok. Well what if i say fvuck the ipod and little bit of clothes that are there. i dont care about those items really anyway. I have ingnored text's and not responded for the past 8 days. If i had walked with my stuff you must understand that would have opend a whole new door of sheet storming. I would rather have done what i did leave with her thinking we are on good terms then just go ghost. Im talking to a girl my age now anyway. were going down to an island near where i live for the weekend and doing some fishing. So ive been moving foward. Its just the past two days this thing reemerged. Its starting to go away again. And ive heard they do come and go in waves. So if you ask me ...Day 8 of NC....new plate ....been workin out ..down to 179...and got my weekends booked for the rest of the month....is not to bad. Could be calling texting and crying to have her back.

 

[fuko2007]

She treats you like $hit. Why would you care about this? Breaking NC will only cause you headaches and she will continue to mind-fvk you. Block her number and be done with it.

10-4 danger. Is there a way to block a call on a Plam pixi or do u have to contact the carrier?

 

[fuko2007]

She treats you like $hit. Why would you care about this? Breaking NC will only cause you headaches and she will continue to mind-fvk you. Block her number and be done with it.

read that thread danger. good stuff. one post sticks out. it sounds just like how my relationship was. im going to paste it below



In that book, they examine these relationships where it's just as you describe, and how it is that the Commitment Phobic (CP)partner is the one that makes it intense, amazing, awesome, unbelievable, in the beginning but then, at some point when normalcy is invoked, doesn't really want what's there, inner fears and all at work what have you, and then push pull dynamics start or we can say the "distancer-pursuer" dance begins, which then, the more you try to keep it together escalates to her sabotaging the relationship with more agressive fights, cheating, abusive behaviors, stuff that makes you say WTF??? and if all else fails to get you to do the dirty work and break it off, they simply exit and disappear, leaving you bewildered and in shock.

Then, because the CP can't commit to "yes" but they also can't commit to "no", after some time, there's what they call the "Curtain Call", where that person tries to re-engage you back, telling you how the miss you, you were the most wonderful thing that's ever happened to them. And, if you do go back, you then experience a replay of the entire relationship all over again, except faster this time, with the same turbulent ending as before.

 

[fuko2007]

That's the only part? She didn't get angry very quickly or rage for no reason? No substance addiction or abuse?

If that is the only item on there which reminds you of her, then she is not BPD. She is just a loon.

In any case, she is a toxic loon and you need to get rid of her.

oh that was just part of it....The rest would be things like starting fights and saying i was doing things that piss her off like asking where she was or what she was doing. wich she was doing to me. She would be wanting to see eachother for a while then go cold. Blame shifting....etc...she was an emotional roller coaster...my therapist said he was 95% sure she was BPD and if not she had some sort of disorder. But anyway ive checked out of this relationship and am trying to move foward. But rome wasnt built in a day. Thanks for all the insight though. it really helps especially on days like yesterday and today. But im looking at everything ive learned and ive learned a shut ton of red flags haha. Not going to fall for another one.