"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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What does this hint mean?

Masculinity

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I have been talking to this girl who I met in class. She's an hb9, but nice and sweet at the same time (although she does mess around with me sometimes).

I let her borrow my notes the other day because she was absent last week. She, this other kid from class Mark, and I used to get lunch together, and when Mark stopped coming, she continued having lunch with me. I asked her if she was single and she laughed and said she was seeing someone but that it wasn't anything serious or exclusive, which I took as a hint of interest. I have been gaming her and the other day the plane bringing her to the city from Arkansas was 45 minutes late, which means she didn't give me my notes on time and thus, I couldn't study and didn't do stellar on my quiz. I told her she owed me, and today I was surprised at the fact she baked me a cake I really like, told me she was sorry, and thanked me for letting her borrow my notes. I asked her out a few days before the cake situation and we're hanging out this Friday.

I'm positive there's interest, but I don't understand the whole cake thing. I feel like I'm being naive at a major IOI, but at the same time don't know how to interpret it. Answer without mercy DJs!
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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penkitten

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it means she is a sweet girl who feels bad that by using your notes that you did poorly on your test.
 

Mantis Toboggan

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Cakes mean sex. Always.

Okay, I was being sarcastic and mean. Seriously, cake doesn't necessarily mean a damn thing. You'll find out where things are going when you hang out with her. The few female friends I had in college would cook for me all the time. We weren't banging.

And also the "I'm seeing someone, but nothing serious" comment doesn't necessarily mean anything either. That's why it's hard to go off of IOIs. Too much reading between the lines. Instead of dipping your toes in the water to test it out, just dive in and see what happens.
 

blueline

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Cake doesn't mean a ****ing thing. ESCALATE, MY NIGGA.
 

Masculinity

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penkitten said:
it means she is a sweet girl who feels bad that by using your notes that you did poorly on your test.
This is the way I first saw it, but we have been talking constantly, and hb9's aren't necessarily known for hanging around with just anyone. I know she gets a lot if guys trying to score and I have witnessed it myself, so that's why I ask myself why she's seeing me and I conclude she must either have interest in my friendship or she wants to know more to see if she's interested in me the other way.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Masculinity

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Mantis Toboggan said:
Cakes mean sex. Always.

Okay, I was being sarcastic and mean. Seriously, cake doesn't necessarily mean a damn thing. You'll find out where things are going when you hang out with her. The few female friends I had in college would cook for me all the time. We weren't banging.

And also the "I'm seeing someone, but nothing serious" comment doesn't necessarily mean anything either. That's why it's hard to go off of IOIs. Too much reading between the lines. Instead of dipping your toes in the water to test it out, just dive in and see what happens.
The "cake means sex; always' comment cracked me up enough that people turned around and looked at me with WTF? faces in the library I'm right now haha. Can you be more specific about what you mean by "Instead of dipping your toes in the water to test it out, just dive in and see what happens?"

I have a get together with her on Friday and we were gonna study in her apartment last week, but she had to work. I feel like I'm on the right track, but I might be missing something?
 

Mantis Toboggan

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Robyn923b said:
This is the way I first saw it, but we have been talking constantly, and hb9's aren't necessarily known for hanging around with just anyone. I know she gets a lot if guys trying to score and I have witnessed it myself, so that's why I ask myself why she's seeing me and I conclude she must either have interest in my friendship or she wants to know more to see if she's interested in me the other way.
If that's what you gotta believe to make a move, then go with it. Whatever it takes.
 

Masculinity

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blueline said:
Cake doesn't mean a ****ing thing. ESCALATE, MY NIGGA.
We're already hanging out this Friday. What is a good way to escalate from the point where I am right now?
 

Masculinity

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Mantis Toboggan said:
If that's what you gotta believe to make a move, then go with it. Whatever it takes.
Good point! I'm going to do the kiss test and go for it this Friday; worst case scenario: I'll get a no and move on to the next babe, thanks! :yes:
 

Mantis Toboggan

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Robyn923b said:
The "cake means sex; always' comment cracked me up enough that people turned around and looked at me with WTF? faces in the library I'm right now haha. Can you be more specific about what you mean by "Instead of dipping your toes in the water to test it out, just dive in and see what happens?"

I have a get together with her on Friday and we were gonna study in her apartment last week, but she had to work. I feel like I'm on the right track, but I might be missing something?

What I meant by dipping your toes in the water: Trying to read IOI's is like dipping your toes in the water. Some people will dive right into the pool...others want to dip their little tippy toes in, just to play it safe.

You're trying to play it safe by guessing the intention of this girl's cake, and her dating comment, and her long chats with you. At this stage in my "DJ development", I can't read IOIs anymore because I walk around with the crazy assumption that all girls like me. The only way to separate the real from the fake is to get them out with me. I show them a fun time, and try a little KINO. If they're receptive to it, then I go for a kiss.

Moral of the story is, I'd drive myself crazy if I had to wonder "She laughed at my joke. Does that mean she likes me?!" "She texted a smiley face! What does that mean?!" Get her out with you alone, and find out if she's for real. That's the only way. Guessing doesn't work.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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nismo-4

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IOI's don't mean sh*t. She has to actually date you, f**k you, make out with you, etc. You need to escalate. This hint doesn't mean a lot. Just keep pressing on till you get where you need to go. You just gotta spear-head this movement. Playing safe and conservatively is why Jim Tressel lost to Wisconsin last week! So go hard or go home! Don't think this girl will be hurt if you move on. She's got more options in her phone. Do things that will make her want you and will put you in her priority bracket.

Case closed. Stop analyzing IOI's!
 

jophil28

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Robyn923b said:
I told her she owed me, and today I was surprised at the fact she baked me a cake I really like, told me she was sorry, and thanked me for letting her borrow my notes.
It means that she understands that the way to a man's heart is via his stomach.. OR maybe the way to a man's stomach is through his mouth.

Dude, it means that she likes you and is willing to do a nice thing to please you . Now that can't be bad can it ?
 
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stuartSan

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The HB9 was clearly sending IOI's because she used a disqualifier when she told you she was seeing someone. She then used a false time constraint with her late plane from Arkansas, and this in turn increased her value in your eyes. She purposely kept your notes to generate interest and be mysterious. She then escalated by baking you a cake and now has you on a road to one-itis.

Seriously?

Geez just enjoy being with her and not take things so theoratically. It's like you're asking for instructions on how to ride a bike online. This is life. You learn from every event that happens, good or bad, but please for the sake of God stop seeing everything as a 'term' from the pickup world and just enjoy life while you can.

I swear technology is killing human interaction.
 

Joe Stud

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I dont know, it allll depends on what flavor the cake was, and what type of baking dish it was in. Let's analyze this for 45 minutes.............
:crackup:
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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sodbuster

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just remember"the way to a mans heart is through his stomach, the way to his wallet is 6" lower". just dive in and go for it. Then if she's not adding anything to your studying,find a nerd who will. Keep your work and your puzzy separate.
 

Kailex

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If it's a plain vanilla cake, then she is boring and not worth your time, unless it has chocolate frosting.

If it's a strawberry shortcake, then she thinks you are effeminate, and expects you to be a raging metrosexual.

If it's marble cake, then the chocolate part might be sketchy.

If she baked you a cake and put a layer of ice cream cake over it, she probably didn't bake it but got it from Baskin Robbins.

If the cake is a lie... wait. No, back on subject...

If the cake is moist, then she is moist for you.
If it's dry, then it means she won't put out on the first date.
If it had some writing on it, hopefully it was something cheerful.
If you survived after eating it... rejoice, she doesn't want you dead.

WHO CARES WHAT THE CAKE WAS ABOUT?

She obviously likes you. Ask her out.
 

Masculinity

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Mantis Toboggan said:
Moral of the story is, I'd drive myself crazy if I had to wonder "She laughed at my joke. Does that mean she likes me?!" "She texted a smiley face! What does that mean?!" Get her out with you alone, and find out if she's for real. That's the only way. Guessing doesn't work.
Gotcha! Examples like this always get me thinking and this one isn't the exception. Thanks!
 

Masculinity

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nismo-4 & StuartSan said:
IOI's don't mean sh*t. She has to actually date you, f**k you, make out with you, etc. You need to escalate. This hint doesn't mean a lot. Just keep pressing on till you get where you need to go. You just gotta spear-head this movement. Playing safe and conservatively is why Jim Tressel lost to Wisconsin last week! So go hard or go home! Don't think this girl will be hurt if you move on. She's got more options in her phone. Do things that will make her want you and will put you in her priority bracket.

Case closed. Stop analyzing IOI's!
I'm aware about the other guys interested in her and that IOI's can be misleading. I'm seeing her tomorrow. She usually don't respond to my texts and she said it's because "she's not a texter," and so I told her to call me tomorrow (for our get together). Am I pushing it by making her call me or is that the way to go?
 

Masculinity

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I'm hanging out with her tomorrow. She doesn't text much back cause "she isn't a texter" she says, so I told her to call me and we'd go from there.

Am I pushing it by getting her to call me or am I showing value by not being easy?
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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