"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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what does this form of body language mean?

J77

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So at college I was walking down the English hallway, and this girl walking past me in the opposite direction was making eye contact and smiling, except it looked like she was almost giggling at the same time. As she walked past, she lowered her head a bit and brushed the front of her hair across her forehead and over her eyes, while still maintaining eye contact and looking slightly sheepish at the same time. Yeah I know it's a really lame question, but how would you interpret this?

Trouble is I always seem to interpret any encounter with females negatively whatever the signs may be. I know that pulling the hair over the eyes can be a defence mechanism and mean she is trying to protect herself, while I also know it may just be a simple case of shyness. However I always convince myself it is the negative version of events. Anyway guys what do you make of this? (And please don't point out how lame this is, I know I need to improve self worth etc but I'm just curious about this one encounter).

I wish just once I could say that an encounter with a female went well with 100 % certainty, rather than having to analyse it to death. Please write back, thanks!!
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Zairi

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Stop analysing too much. You should have approached her. She was inviting you in by showing submissiveness. She was attracted to you.
 

jafyk

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Yup Zairi is right. Also when looking at female's body language in interaction, look for clusters of signal. Don't just look at one thing and run with it. In your case she gave you a couple of clusters: eye contact, smile, giggle, brushing her hair from her face and tilting her head.
 
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I can't believe you just posted that, J77. You caught little miss shy glancing and flustering overly obvious at your splendour, and you need to know what it meant? :p

Please stop:
  • Thinking so much about obvious matters.
  • Analyzing obvious matters.
  • Over analyzing obvious matters.
  • Agonizing so much about obvious matters.
  • Asking for advice on a forum when things are overly obvious (this girl showed MAJOR attraction. Your uncertainty about something that OBVIOUS merely just shows your fear of failure and rejection).
  • Listening to advice that says "you should have approached". Only approach when you WANT to. Otherwise, you put too much pressure on yourself and it'll start to feel like failure instead of ignoring something you don't really want to do. (Other than that, good advice Zairi, but there are no "musts".)
Please do:
  • Go with your gut.
  • Realize this girl was majorly attracted to you.
  • Realize that there is no 100% certainty that things will go well. Let alone that there's no certainty of ANYTHING as long as you're agonizing about things going well.
  • Realize that the key to success and things going well with women is letting go of your needs and desires for things to "go well". Be detached. Live in the moment.
  • Act
  • Just approach and talk fluff to her (if you're interested). An attracted girl doesn't care what you're saying to her, she just loves that you're talking to HER. Give her the gift of you.
  • Realize that women are like apples; trees everywhere with hundreds of apples on them. This girl doesn't work out? Pick another one. (A good, shiny one without rot and or worms *hint*.)
Please also forget this forum unless you're here to:
  • Improve yourself as a positively masculine Man.
  • Learn how women work.
  • Train yourself for the war that is called "seeing women" (not really a war, but we can have our jokes).
  • Learn how to give great sex.
If so, please give your undivided attention to the DJ Bible linked below every page and the Archive and Tips boards of this forum.

Something else:
Ask yourself why you must come here to ask about this. That's the only thinking you should be doing right now. Really ask yourself this. Search your heart. Don't post back here with an obvious answer "I need to work on myself". Of course you do. But what? Where? How? When? Specifics make the plan, not the outline.

If "must work on myself" is your answer, then this girl is a prime opportunity to apply for this job. Write that application today!

That is, if YOU are interested in her. Then again, if she was attractive, I don't see why not. Engage her, invite her for coffee/tea/me and take it from there. Simply have fun! Talk about her without interviewing her (great tips about conversation in the DJ Bible linked below). Don't take it all too seriously. Fun is the key word.

If she's not your thing, then simply enjoy the attention and keep your eyes open to catch other girls hot in the act and approach when you like what you see. :p

Whatever you do, good luck! and remember that it is YOU who creates it. :up:
 
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