"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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What does this body language tell you?

MountainSlide

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So I was just at this appointment today (optometrist) and this woman (fairly attractive, I think what we could call a 7) was the one working with me. Anyway I have never spent so much time at the optometrist in my life. And although I had dealt with her before and just spoke with me on the phone a couple days ago she acted like she had no recollection of any of this. Last time we were talking I found that we kind of had a little attraction going on. And today when she was talking to me in kind of this darkish room alone she started gently caressing her chest area (above her breast) around where her collar bone(r) is, and I found it to be turning me on. Anyway I got hooked right up with all sorts of free products by the time I left that place. Oh yeah. And she was thinking about ****ing me right?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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BetterCallSaul

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Why not simply find out and ask her out for a drink or something simple?

For me the thing I always kept in mind when dealing with women in settings like that (waitresses are a good example) is that you have to make it known that you understand they probably get hit on a lot so you have to distinguish that you're seriously wanting them to hang out with you. It generally helps if you've already got plans made...maybe going to a concert, some party, some friends meeting up..whatever.
 

Thorninmyside

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Probably, but a woman having close eye contact all day might feel that way 20 times a day and still not act on it for professional reasons. She might like enjoying being turned on even if attached or married, but you know the saying: don't **** where you eat.
 

MountainSlide

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BetterCallSaul said:
Why not simply find out and ask her out for a drink or something simple?

For me the thing I always kept in mind when dealing with women in settings like that (waitresses are a good example) is that you have to make it known that you understand they probably get hit on a lot so you have to distinguish that you're seriously wanting them to hang out with you. It generally helps if you've already got plans made...maybe going to a concert, some party, some friends meeting up..whatever.
This is at the optometrist lol, not a bar. I imagine that she rarely gets hit on. Not because she is unattractive but because it is a 'professional' environment.
 

MountainSlide

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Thorninmyside said:
Probably, but a woman having close eye contact all day might feel that way 20 times a day and still not act on it for professional reasons. She might like enjoying being turned on even if attached or married, but you know the saying: don't **** where you eat.
Nice that's bang on.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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BetterCallSaul

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MountainSlide said:
This is at the optometrist lol, not a bar. I imagine that she rarely gets hit on. Not because she is unattractive but because it is a 'professional' environment.
That wasn't the point I was trying to make. In professional environments, like an optometrist, just simply asking her out for a drink would be enough and yes I agree that a lot of women in such professional settings probably aren't asked out that often due to certain unwritten rules of decorum. But in the example I provided with the waitress who interacts with a lot of people every day and if she's hot probably has guys hitting on her constantly, it's important to differentiate yourself.
 
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