What does she want with this email!? Fast-moving situ..

[Zarky]

So I went out on a few dates with a girl about 2 years ago. She is late-30s now. We had great fun and had some great chemistry. On about our 4th date we were going to have sex but it was 5AM and we were exhausted and both fell asleep after a little foreplay. Next morning she had to go to work. She called me the next night and wanted to get together that night but I had another date and I couldn't. I didn't tell her this but she figured it out and called me a "liar."

So we texted back and forth for a couple more months, I told her about all the women I was screwing and she called me a womanizer but in a funny way. She still has nicknames for me, "Ladies Man," etc. One night she invited me to her friend's band's show and I went but I skipped out after 15 minutes to go screw another girl who had texted me.

So then about a year ago she found a long term boyfriend and has been taking him to visit her family in Canada, etc. He seems like a "keeper." However, every few months she emails me and suggests we get together, but I usually tell her I don't hang out with chicks unless I'm screwing them or I tell her we can hang but if a real date comes along I'm going to cancel on her. She never follows through and disappears for a few months until the cycle repeats.

So then I got this email today:

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Hey Pookie! So what's shaking? You still in [city]? Work? Women?

Fill me in, I'm terminally bored over here and taking a break.

Would it be weird if we shared a glass and caught up sometime, seeing as I'm involved now and all? Well, we don't have to actually share one, I'd let you have your own.

Mae
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I realize this isn't much to go on but any initial ideas as to what she wants? She's got a billion friends, I don't know why she wants to hang out with me.

I'm treating it as a "I'm bored with my Mr. Right and need some sexy excitement," but I'm not sure about that. Ideas? I responded back with a short msg saying basically, "Sure, love to get together. Let me know when you're free." In the past I'd usually put together some long diatribe about not hanging out with chicks I'm not screwing, but this time I treated it differently.

Thx

 

[Tazman]

You're obviously not hanging out with her because you want to genuinely get together for some nice platonic "catch-up".

Her proposition sounds like a complete waste of time, and it makes you look less important because she made a point to tell you she's messaging you because she's "bored" and she hopes it's not weird for you because she's "involved".

I'd cancel.

 

[Zarky]

First off thanks for the reply. 128 views and one reply.

Second, I have canceled several times and been a relative **** to the girl for the past 2 years, and ... meh.. figure I'd try something different this time. I'm banging enough chicks now that I don't really care whether we get it on or not and I don't particularly care what she thinks of me because, while I think she's neat, if I never see her again it would be no biggie.

I was kind of just wondering what she might have been getting at with wanting to see me based upon our summarized history and her cryptic email, not really asking what my response should be. I'm assuming from your reply that you don't think there's a hint there that she's bored with her current dude and looking for some fun. Fair enough, and you're probably right. She might not even come through with her hang-out offer. At this point I've been saying No to hanging out with her for so long that I have a feeling she won't know what to do with a Yes.

Now if she says "come out and hang with me and my boyfriend" then fo sho I'll say no. That would be a waste of time. But something tells me she knows me well enough that she wouldn't try that one. We'll see.

Thx again for the reply. At this point for me she's more of an intellectual exercise. I want to see if my hunch is right that she's bored with her beau.

 

[Kailex]

She just wants validation that she still might have it and can manipulate guys.

Just stay away.

She'll probably "hang out" and as soon as you try something, she'll say: I have a boyfriend.

I hope it is a mental exercise, because it seems more like it'll become an exercise in frustration... for you.

 

[AMDG]

every few months she emails me

I am in the same boat - and I ignored her before and after I entered the current LTR. I am flirting on the side with other girls for practice anyway

 

[jophil28]

She just wants validation that she still might have it and can manipulate guys.

Just stay away.

She'll probably "hang out" and as soon as you try something, she'll say: I have a boyfriend.

I hope it is a mental exercise, because it seems more like it'll become an exercise in frustration... for you.

Kailex said it.
I have two of these women in my life (occasionally). They just want a little extra 'juice'. Both have boyfriends, and they see my wiilingness to talk to them as a little extra emotional food and drink.

Just women being attention loving women is all .

 

[2crudedudes]

If you do go through with this, I'd make it clear up front that your intentions haven't changed, and that a sex-less date is a no go. If she doesn't like the idea, then you know what you just saved yourself from.

 

[Zarky]

Fair enough, I appreciate the responses. Attention-seeking behavior--"Tell me you want me," etc is prolly the most likely thing. thx