what does she mean?

[Tails]

this was C+F conversation, but i think some of the questions were getting serious...

her: you are ultra gay

me: too bad for you then eh?

her: haha were only friends remember

me: yeah.. for now

her: ohhh you sound very self assured there

me: thanks!

her: i didnt mean it as a compliment lol

me: you did? oh well.

me: lol

her: haha

her: what makes you assume that we are only friends but for now?

me: i like to have a little faith.

her: awww u have a crush on me

her: haha joke ill shut up now

me: long way from a crush sweetie pie.

me: but of course, we can be friends, i have no problem there.

her: wot do you mean long way from a crush?

me: well you said i had a crush lol. i'm like, a crush? isn't that what 15 year olds have

her: so wot is it that you have? lol

me: an intention to get to know you, that is all.

her: you confuse me

me: haha

her: i dont think thats a good thing

me: it's very simple really. i'd like to get to know you more.

me: tada!

her: haha well u can call it an "intention to get to know me" but ill keep calling it a 19yr old crush

hmm, she asks all these questions i was starting to panic. by the way, i saw her today and we talked for a few moments. she came online later telling me i was cute. good sign no? yet she wants to be friends? surely she wants to get to know me more. she won't stop chatting to me. so it's gotta mean something! i really like her!

(she also thinks i'm intriguing)

 

[Dirtheart]

I'd suggest you keep this up. Keep acting self assured, keep telling her you KNOW she will fall for you sooner or later. If she asks why you are so sure, tell her you are a man who takes control of his destiny and knows what he wants and how to get it (women tend to love this in a guy).


Also, try something like this (I'll explain how it works after):


"I want us to get to know each other because you will see that I'm your perfect man. You already know I'm cute and charming, you just need time to see that I'm intelligent, strong, talented and have the world at my feet.

I know you think about me. You can't help it because I stir your imagination. Before you know it you’ll be dreaming up enchanting scenarios and whenever you think of me you will feel a sense of comfort and bliss that radiates throughout your body. That’s when you know you’re in love with me."

This is an NLP technique and the words I've marked in italics are embedded commands which you aim to implant into her mind. Her instinct will be to resist or deny what you are telling her, but the mind can't resist something without thinking about it.

So you have worked these thoughts into her head while your self-assuredness will start her wondering "why is he so sure?" or "Am I missing out?"

Basically, she will start to form a mental impression of you based on what you have told her. Once you have captured a girl's imagination in a positive way, it's only a matter of time before she falls for you.

But keep acting self-assured AT ALL TIMES. If she says she's not interested, keep assuring her that she will be or that she is fooling herself.

 

[Tails]

wow, thanks for that advice pal. sounds good! by the way, do you think she sounds interested in me more than a friend, or does she really think of me as a friend?

 

[Hollowpoint]

Originally posted by Tails
wow, thanks for that advice pal. sounds good! by the way, do you think she sounds interested in me more than a friend, or does she really think of me as a friend?

Who cares? Does it really matter?
She probably doesn't even know herself.

Do the Bible stuff on this board and keeping on moving.

 

[squirrels]

This one of those conversations where I feel like the text-only nature of it is REALLY limiting your ability to communicate any kind of masculinity or sexual dominance.

Translation: Stop talking to her on IM.

 

[Ser_i]

I disagree with Dirtheart.. imo he's coming over rather weak...

when reading it I was kind of expecting a great twist at the end of the conversation.. which I didn't see...

but as squirrels said, IM conversations with chicks should be kept as short as possible... cause

A) You don't have visual feedback that you have in person
B) You can interpetate(spl?) things wrong
C) There is no chance at all to get physical

(okay there some exceptions.. I met this girl through a breakdance forum... we chatted somewhat.. I ended up showing her my best moves in a couple of days.. but that was simply she had put it in her mind to receive it... not because I got her to do it.)

 

[Tails]

well she doesn't wanna meet up for a proper date just yet, i asked her already before. she keeps coming online and chatting to me. i wanna get together with her in person but i can't keep asking her, it'll make me seem desperate. what's so wrong about talking online? all that sexual dominance stuff will come in time. she knows i want her, i know she likes me in some way or another. it's up to her now to give me permission to see her. i have already asked her.

she is also wary of guys as she has said... i think she just wants to take it slow for now. i can't really talk to her in person, she's very busy and so am i at the moment. we both study and she works on top of that. i just have to wait on her to give me a time to meet her. nothing much i can really do for now. the ball is in her court. she can hit that ball right back at me if she likes, it's all on her. i'm here to return it.


Ser_i, there was a bit of a twist actually, that isn't the end of the log. there was more to it.

 

[Eternal]

Tails dude...Don't talk to her online. If you must, keep it really short (few minutes) and keep putting up away messages and stuff like that. Save your talk for her in real life and even then...Keep it short and sweet.

 

[Ser_i]

Originally posted by Tails
well she doesn't wanna meet up for a proper date just yet, i asked her already before. she keeps coming online and chatting to me. i wanna get together with her in person but i can't keep asking her, it'll make me seem desperate. what's so wrong about talking online? all that sexual dominance stuff will come in time. she knows i want her, i know she likes me in some way or another. it's up to her now to give me permission to see her. i have already asked her.

she is also wary of guys as she has said... i think she just wants to take it slow for now. i can't really talk to her in person, she's very busy and so am i at the moment. we both study and she works on top of that. i just have to wait on her to give me a time to meet her. nothing much i can really do for now. the ball is in her court. she can hit that ball right back at me if she likes, it's all on her. i'm here to return it.


Ser_i, there was a bit of a twist actually, that isn't the end of the log. there was more to it.

It's probably cause I've got a way different style.. that I'm saying I don't aggree with the way you are going at this...

not saying it's bad what you are doing, but if I want to ask a girl out I never do it over IM.. untill I know her rather well.. and have met her in person a few times and had a good conversation or two... once the IM thingie get's like more time consuming every time I eventualy ask her number or give her mine to call me...

and about the line "i'm very busy" that women throw at guys translated means. "I like to get you all excited but I don't want a date with you" .. .that's how I view it ... now what I'd try to do is to turn this around that you are the one saying I'm rather busy this week, or the weekends, especialy on the days that she doesn't have much to do. and then let her think, "DAMN IT! why is he showing less interest to me?! and why can't he make time for me when it suits me?"

which eventually if done right turns into.. DARN IT! I need to make time on that day cause that's only day he has time for me"

I'm wondering off while typing this stuff.. to much in my mind

anyway, as you said you asked her out allready, I wouldn't wait for this girl...

but then again I'm an all or nothing kind of guy

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by Tails
well she doesn't wanna meet up for a proper date just yet, i asked her already before. she keeps coming online and chatting to me. i wanna get together with her in person but i can't keep asking her, it'll make me seem desperate.

Which is more desperate? Asking her out repeatedly? Or wasting your time chatting with her on the Internet in the HOPES that SHE will ask YOU? (you said yourself she knows you like her, it's not like she can't see what you're doing)

what's so wrong about talking online? all that sexual dominance stuff will come in time.

When? When you finally go on the date that you're too scared to ask for and she isn't turned on enough to accept?

she knows i want her, i know she likes me in some way or another. it's up to her now to give me permission to see her. i have already asked her.

Asking permission?? You're not asking your mom if you can have a cookie before dinner, here. There's no "permission"! She either wants to hang out with you or she doesn't. It certainly doesn't encourage the coming of that "sexual dominance stuff," that's for sure.

she is also wary of guys as she has said... i think she just wants to take it slow for now.

We'll see how wary she is when she finds a guy that actually excites her on a romantic level. And so far, that's not you.

i can't really talk to her in person, she's very busy and so am i at the moment. we both study and she works on top of that. i just have to wait on her to give me a time to meet her.

If she was romantically interested in you, she would MAKE time for you. I personally believe that this is bullsh*t...unless she's working 60 hours a week AND going to nightschool, it's not like she has NO free time when she could at least meet you for lunch or something.

Look at you, "I'm going to wait for her to give me time to meet her." WTF is that?? Find something better to focus your time and energy on.

I'm not saying you should pester her to death with date proposals and I'm not saying you should cut contact completely, but stop worrying so much about it.

You need to understand that it doesn't smell much from what you said like she's interested in you romantically. Maybe there IS a little bit of interest there, but you're not cultivating it by sitting on a computer chatting with her and pretending like you're waiting for her to give you your chance.

Instead you're content to sit there like a customer at the DMV and wait for your number to come up. Not only are you content, but you've convinced yourself that you're HAPPY to do that. How nauseating is that?? If you told a girl that you were just friends and she said, "that's OK for now, I'll just wait for you to come around, then" and she just sat and WAITED? How would YOU feel?

Get off the Internet and either meet her in person and show her what she's missing through her indecision or find someone else to interact with. The longer you're always around when she wants to chat, the longer you're sitting there trying to convince her to give you "your shot," the more you look like a little panty-waste compared to the bold men she's meeting when you're NOT around.

 

[Ice Cold]

Technically, the convo you posted was flirting and you should've been kinoing her all the time there.

Or at least you should kino her in the very near future.

 

[Dirtheart]

what's so wrong about talking online?

In all honesty, I don't see any problem with chatting on the phone or online. Sure it makes you look available, but you can get round this by staying offline once in a while and telling her you were out as Ser_i suggests.

On the plus side, you are getting to know each other in a mentally intimate sense - no nervousness, no reservations or awkwardness holding you back.

I know lots of people who have literally fallen head over heels in love with someone they've met online. Perhaps it's because while you are not with the person, you mentally create them in your own imagination and assign lots of perfect traits to that person, whereas in reality, you take them as you see them.

do you think she sounds interested in me more than a friend, or does she really think of me as a friend?

If she keeps returning online to talk to you, I would guess she sees you as very good friend or as someone with potential to be more. I mean, why would she choose to sit and talk to you online instead of going out socialising?

 

[Tails]

squirrels,

i thank you very much for that impressive post. it made a whole lot of sense and i feel silly. i have been relying on the internet too much for relationships. i am considering to close MSN for a while or maybe just leaving my status as away, even when she messages me. i will just see her in real life whenever i get the chance. i almost see her everyday cause she works at the bus station mini store, so it's hard not to see her. i'm thinking just keep the conversations short and sweet like crazykid said and leave it as that. if she wants to hook up she knows where to find me. and she'll get her chance to the next time i see her.

Dirtheart,

yes, i agree with you, nothing wrong with chatting, i can still seem attractive to her by just being set as away for a couple days and not replying to her (being busy). she really loves chatting online to me. she's the one always messaging me. she even said i'm half the reason she GOES on MSN. but again, i will try keep as busy as i possibly can. my last girlfriend i met was from MSN, and that was all unexpected... we fell for each other. we talked on MSN for hours and i mean literally hours. even before we met each other. we started talking on the phone, we met, we were a great couple. she was even hot! but yeah, we didn't go for longer than five months. my bad, i was screwed in the head. it wasn't her, it was me. so it can't all be THAT bad!

 

[Tails]

UPDATE:

squirrels,

i took your advice and i think it may be sparking something up. i have been set as away for a couple nights on MSN, and as i expected she messaged me. one early at night and the other later on (the following night). i kept myself as busy as possible, games, going out, took my mind off her to my surprise. anyway, the last message i got was this:

her: i'll probly be working after 4pm tomorow so if you see me there you should come say hi

and she went offline few moments later.

you see, the thing is, i have to go into town for a school trip with the whole class and only until about 3pm. she works after 4pm, that's a whole hours wait. should i just go on with my business and head home or do something to keep me busy until 4pm just to talk with her? (isn't that AFC'ish?)

 

[Giovanni Casanova]

Powering up the GIOVANNI CRYSTAL BALL 3000 XL™ again!

Let's take a look at where this relationship is going.

YOU: Oh, yeah, baby. These are some nice curves.
HER: Are you fondling your computer mouse again?
YOU: I just love to push your buttons, baby.
HER: I'm getting the definite impression that you're doing naughty things to your keyboard.
YOU: Hey, baby, I just found the "special slot" on my computer. It says "RAM", so I'm ramming it, baby.
HER: I don't think that's what it's for.
YOU: JJAOMM.
HER: What?
YOU: Just jizzed all over my monitor.
HER: Freak.
YOU: I should've listened to Giovanni!

 

[ScrewIt]

your conversation with her was pretty weak. i agree yo u could have made it more interesting such as dirtheart mentioned.

plus you did not deny the fact you had a crush on her. so she's surre of herself you like her. you act AFC around her dont you?

when there is someone you like, i agree you can act a little awkward, but u cant let your fear eat you. you have to take control and treat her like any other girl

 

[Tails]

Giovanni Casanova, man, that was pretty good, i was almost getting hard just reading that. was that advice? lol.

ScrewIt,

nope, i don't act AFC in person at all. only online for some reason. probably cause i'm at home in my room listening to music and getting too comfortable. so i just cut back with online chatting. with her, anyway.

 

[balla]

man you gotta make a move here..squirrels gave you the best advice.

why does this girl need to meet you in person when she can just IM you and have you acting all AFC to her whenever she wants

you even said that you see her almsot everyday yet you still persist with this online crap

cut her off completely online..you did that once ans she told you to "stop by and say hi"...THIS IS THE SIGNAL...MAKE A MOVE


do it again if she hasn't already gotten over you or LJBF you w/o you knowing it you might have a chance. when she IMs you, and it seems like she will, just stay away or whatver, do this a couple of times and she will most likely think "wtf " then she'll either tell you to stop by again, if your lucky

or most likely you'll have to just "run into her" like you say you usually do and ask her out...be really upfront and forward about this...none of this "hi maybe we could get together sometime if you want...we really don't have to...the ball is in your court...but if you want to I would be down"

so after you have been "away" for a few days talk to her, in person!, and then ask her out point blank, I still think she might have some interest...she definitely knows you do

ask her out on a date, if she says yes bravo and starting working it DJ style

if she rejects you cut off online time by 80%, you can through in a few his or whatever if you want...keep her as a firend or whatever but you have to move on

she might have a change of heart or not..either way you forget her and move on to the next one. don't ask her out again though twice is enough then you are outta there!

DO SOMETHING MAN...waiting for herto make a move ONLINE is BAD


Balla

 

[Tails]

UPDATE:

i finished school early today, went on a school trip down town and came back about 3pm. she said she would be working after 4pm, but she was there when i got to the bus station and it was only just past 3pm. i couldn't say hi because her mother was there working with her but soon her mother left so i figured it was time to approach and say hello, because she said herself i should come say hi if i saw her working and i did.

so i popped my head around the corner and said hello, asked how her day was, she did the same to me. i noticed she could not keep total eye contact and was looking down a bit but smiling. dunno, maybe i made her nervous? i myself was very happy and very confident. we chatted for a couple minutes. and i did a C+F comment, because she works at a candy drink magazine store it smelled nice right? so i says:

me: mmm what's that smell? smells nice.
her: its just all the candy everywhere.
me: or maybe it's you "
her: oh, yes (something blah blah, can't remember) *smile*

people came to buy things, i sat down at my stop just like a few meters away from where she works and when it was clear again, i came over to her and it went like this....

me: hey, i'm gonna get going okay. so give me your number.
her: ... uhhh i dunno (said in a playing hard to get kinda way) .... mmmm. my mobile (cell phone) number? *smiling*
me: yeah.

(it seemed like she wanted to because she was thinking about it)

me: nooo? you see there's this thing, a person gives the other person their number and they dial the number and talk to that person.
her: haha yeah i know... i just don't like giving my number out.
me: okay, well have my number.
her: okay, i'll take your number then.

she gets a pen and writes down my number on paper or a receipt... whatever.

me: alright then! i'll see you later! *smile*
her: yep, okay, see ya! *smile*

i think i did fine. i mean, she didn't wanna give her number out, i didn't act AFC and keep bugging her for it. that is a little desperate. i came to say hi because i wanted to and because she said i should. i've done my chasing around with her for now. she has my number, she knows what to do. it's time to move on and keep her on the back of my head.

stay tuned for more updates.

 

[Evil-Rom]

Originally posted by Tails
and i did a C+F comment, because she works at a candy drink magazine store it smelled nice right? so i says:

me: mmm what's that smell? smells nice.
her: its just all the candy everywhere.
me: or maybe it's you "
her: oh, yes (something blah blah, can't remember) *smile*

THAT'S ****y and funny?