"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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What does she mean, what is she trying to say ?

lifemisspent

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Ok, so Ive been going out on dates with this girl for a few weeks now, we have great chemistry together, it's all good.

One thing Im wondering, whenever we make plans she always says " it's ok if something comes up and you can't make it "

For example, we were scheduled to go out on Tuesday, we were supposed to touch base around 8 Pm to find out what time she was getting off of work, she leaves me a VM at 8 pm cause I could not get to the phone, she says hi it's me Im ok for tonight at 9 pm but if you are out doing something and can't make it , I understand it's ok we can do it another time.

Then today, I confirmed to her this AM that I got reservations at my buddies restaurant even though it's tough over the holidays, she says if you couldnt have gotten reservations I would have understanded and it would have been ok.

I have gotten these kind of comments a few times, is she just trying not to seem desperate ?

Thanks for your help.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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csourcelover

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im inexperienced in these areas, but to me it sounds like she has a lack of confidence? sounds like guys have ditched her over many times in the past? how is the tone of her voice on the phone when she says it? try to analyze that.
 

lifemisspent

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Thanks,

Her tone is fairly stoic, hard to read to be honest. She has a 5 year old child, I think she is self conscience about that. She said to me, I was surprised when you asked me out because you knew I had a child.
 

csourcelover

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hmmm, she's obviously interested, just seems a little underconfident and shy - a lot of guys probably ran away when they knew she had a child but with you she seems to be shocked. maybe what shes trying to say is.. "I know I have a child.. I understand if you don't want to hang out." Tell her otherwise. Maybe Im wrong tho, rather let a true DJ answer this one.

best of luck to you, i am currently dealing with an extremely shy girl - challenge and a half
 

I'm in the Mood

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Next time she mentions something like that say something like, "Would you really let me cancel plans we've made to do something else? Because unless it's something really important, I would not accept that behavior from you."

This is basically a shyt test for her, see if she passes it and you'll know.

Umm I just saw the thing about the 5 year old, and my best advice for you is to think seriously about whether you're just taking what you can get, or you really want a relationship with a single mom...

I know I'm young, but there are plenty of childless single women out there that wouldn't need me to provide for both of them or whatever this lady might be thinking about you for the future.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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zekko

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I'll offer another possibility. She has a kid to take care off, and she works. She may be tired a lot and not really sure if she feels like going out. This has nothing to do with you, I'm sure she likes you and wants to go out with you. But her body is telling her it would be nice just to relax, so she's willing to let it slide if you can't make it.
 
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