What does it mean to have or not have a "life"?

[CasanovaFrankenstein]

When someone talks of having or not having a "life", is that just short for social life? I googled the phrase once and beside that meaning I also got some people saying that having a life means just having something you enjoy doing and doing it. But by that definition, wouldn't a couch potato or gamer who never leaves the house and has no friends have "a life"? I mean, if that's what he/she truly enjoys doing? IS there a correct usage for this phrase, or are both right?

 

[Cassanova_Child]

technically.... BOTH are right.....

though in context, a person who has a life is usually physically active, social, and has some hobby OTHER than gaming, etc....

 

[Acq]

Im not having a life at the moment, here is my day schedule:

monday to friday: get up at 8.15, shower, have breakfast, leave for work at 8.45, work from 9 til 5, get back home at 5.15, eat and turn on my laptop. At 11 or a bit later I turn it off and go to sleep.
Saturday and Sunday: I wake up, turn on my laptop and use it until 2 am or so. And yes, I intoxicate myself with marihuana during the weekend, that makes me happy.

I lost all of my friends, and my social contact consists of chatting on MSN and occasionally talking to shop sellers near my house. I dont go out either.
Im VERY lonely and depressed.
Im 31 and have difficulties changing the way Im.

THATS not having a life.

Half a year ago I did have a life, a wonderful gf, worked out almost daily and barely had time to do anything since I was going out like daily

Thats having a life.

see the difference ?

 

[brian123]

If you are googling the term life, then I'd say that is a good indication you do not have one.

 

[DonGorgon]

A general reference to ones "life" or lack there of calls into question the extent of your interactions with society and our your focus on goals and activities that give you "value" and "meaning" and how occupied you keep your self...

It can be very subjective cause one mans great video gaming career might be the lamest thing in the world to another guy who goes rock climbing..
It tends to end up as one of those conformity issues in social circles, i.e. "for us to thing you are cool you need to be doing A, B and C activities.."

 

[War Against Betaism]

I think the most common definition of having no life is that you do only one thing. I remember playing basketball with these guys and there's this guy that plays basketball 24/7. The other guys were like "Damn dude get a life all you do is play basketball". There's this other time when I was hanging out with these guys, and my other friend is like "I swear all these guys do is kick it, they have no jobs, don't get to parties, fvckin get a life seriously".

I used to think it was something like just staying home all day and playing video games, but I've pretty much narrowed it down to when you only do one single activity on a daily basis.

 

[forward]

Here's an oversimplified way to put it:

If you'd instantly and readily abandon the majority of your free time... just to be with a girl you find attractive... you don't have a life.

There are other ways to put it, but given the subjects discussed on this forum, I find this a good way. Bottom-line: if you fit the above, you need to find more fulfilling things to do with your time.

What makes an activity fulfilling? There are many components... Here are a few I can think of:

1) Moderation: Too much of anything will destroy it's capacity for fulfillment. This is why your example of someone who "plays video games all day" screams "no life" so obviously. It's not the video games, it's the constant video games.

2) Growth: Does this activity allow you to grow as a person? It's a fulfilling thing... to grow.

3) Enjoyment: This might seem the same as fulfillment itself, but really I think of it as a component. You should want to do the things you do! Don't do them merely because they will help you to grow, but because you enjoy them. And a neat life lesson I've discovered again and again: The more you enjoy something, the better you will be at it and the more you will grow from it.

You can always get more of this thing called a life. So go out there and do more! Find a variety of hobbies and interests and pursue several of them. Do not obsess over one. For it is then too easy to replace this "one interest" (such as video games) with some other interest that comes along (such as a woman)... with the woman sitting there wondering why you "have no life" (little knowing that she has replaced your life and now is your life!!)

When you have a number of hobbies that fulfill you immensely, you will crave them if you start to spend too much time with a woman, and actually want to do them more than the woman! (for the time being). And so you will do the old DJ trick of "not making yourself too available" without even trying. Neat.

 

[forward]

Double Post. I have fixed it for you. 100% original material right here.

 

[mcs]

i think im interesting person enough. but my activities doesn't have room for two. i keep myself fit, intelligent etc - that takes enough money. and im not very keen spending more money on activities to keep girl on the hook or what ever. and that might seem like i have no life. doesn't bother me much though.

 

[mcs]

(sorry, double, please delete this)

 

[forward]

There are plenty of hobbies and activities you can pick up that are free of cost. Hell, there are many that can even generate income for you!

But more importantly, the purpose of having a varied life is not to "keep a girl on the hook", it is to live a fulfilling life. Each activity becomes more "special" when it is limited by other wonderful activities. You leave each one wanting more, rather than exhausting the activity to boredom.

Now a neat side effect of this is that it not only keeps your activities fresh and exciting for you, but also for those you participate in them with (when applicable). Hence girls, friends, everyone finding you exciting and not boring.

 

[War Against Betaism]

Just ask yourself this; do your days feel long? Usually when I have a lot of things to do while experiencing a lot of different things, my days feel very long (not in the bad back from work types of feeling too) and I feel very rewarded. Also do you feel yourself that you don't have enough to do? This can actually be easily self diagnosed.

 

[LonesomeLoser]

oops

 

[guywhoneedshelp]

Having a structured life or having a life with lots of activities in it - you do have a life. You go out - you have a life. You see friends every other day - you have a life.

At least that's what people will think.