"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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What Do You Think?

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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amnbyrd

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xdreamz said:
sounds to me like she wanted some free time with her girl friends to go out and it made you kind of bothered...its alright she probably means a lot to you. from my experience when you start getting bothered by where she's going and stuff it causes some problems because it communicates weakness. so just learn from your mistakes and be clear
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Girlfriends??
If it was just girls there wouldnt be a problem,but it was nothing but guys that she was hanging around with and I know a lot of guys like her. Not to sound insecure or anything/ Im just saying I got tired of all the BS and drama that she kept creating for me.
 
S

SickAgain

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You did the right thing. I takes a lot to walk away from a relationship, but it's better sooner than later. You're only 20 years old, go have fun with yourself, you can't take relationships so seriously in this stage of your life. You get a lot of respect from me. Just don't let her coerce you into getting back together, if you let her back in again you're just going to lose more of her respect. It tells her that you're controllable and she has the upper hand and always will. Just look at the bright side, you can bang different girls now! Live on!
 
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amnbyrd

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SickAgain said:
You did the right thing. I takes a lot to walk away from a relationship, but it's better sooner than later. You're only 20 years old, go have fun with yourself, you can't take relationships so seriously in this stage of your life. You get a lot of respect from me. Just don't let her coerce you into getting back together, if you let her back in again you're just going to lose more of her respect. It tells her that you're controllable and she has the upper hand and always will. Just look at the bright side, you can bang different girls now! Live on!
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Yeah man you're exactly right. She just left the flowers and the other gift I got her outside of my door with a door that said something along the lines of " You really hurt me and you dont think that I care about you. Not much I can do since you changed ur number. Take Care"
I just took the 24 roses and vase and thru them in the dumpster.
Right from the beginning I new things werent gonna work though I made the mistake of getting in deeper with her and now it'll take some time to get over her which really sucks.
The thing Ive learned the most out of this whole situation is no matter how hard it may be you HAVE TO KNOW WHEN TO WALK AWAY.
 
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coder

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Do you see how when you sent her flowers and gifts she disrespected you and when you ignored her, she wanted you back? Do you think there is a lesson here?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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xdreamz

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yea i had a girlfriend like that before. out of the blue she wanted to break up and when i called her she kept on making it seem like the relationship was over. only when i ignored her she started calling me back. it was when i was seeing another girl she started gave me all these flowers, food, gifts and oh yea.. a framed poem. haha
 
M

Maxtro

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xdreamz said:
yea i had a girlfriend like that before. out of the blue she wanted to break up and when i called her she kept on making it seem like the relationship was over. only when i ignored her she started calling me back. it was when i was seeing another girl she started gave me all these flowers, food, gifts and oh yea.. a framed poem. haha
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Wow women are insane.
 
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