What Do you Talk About on The First Date?

[Georgepithyou]

I noticed in another thread a user mentioned he didn't have many second dates, another user mentioned that it's good to follow a script.

This got me thinking of conversation topics that seem natural and aren't too forced on a first date.

So we have the F.O.R.D Forumula.

Family
Occupation
Recreation
Dreams (goals/aspirations)

If you run all these topics and cant get someone to light up and start spilling their guts then they may not like you. Almost every person is really into one of these 4.

Possible leading enquiries:

F "So, you got much family here?"
F "Big family? Small family?"
O "What you do for a living?
R "You got any weirdo hobbies I should know about?" (fun)
R "Are you fun though? What do get up to in your spare time?"
D "If I gave you $5mil right now, what would be the first thing you bought?"
D "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?"
Customise these to fit your conversational style.

just don't try to force a subject if she doesn't like it just switch and try to listen and engage in an interactive discussion not a monologue.

 

[darksprezzatura]

First dates are action dates to keep the talking to a minimum

 

[Josh Davidson]

I noticed in another thread a user mentioned he didn't have many second dates, another user mentioned that it's good to follow a script.

This got me thinking of conversation topics that seem natural and aren't too forced on a first date.

So we have the F.O.R.D Forumula.

Family
Occupation
Recreation
Dreams (goals/aspirations)

If you run all these topics and cant get someone to light up and start spilling their guts then they may not like you. Almost every person is really into one of these 4.

Possible leading enquiries:

F "So, you got much family here?"
F "Big family? Small family?"
O "What you do for a living?
R "You got any weirdo hobbies I should know about?" (fun)
R "Are you fun though? What do get up to in your spare time?"
D "If I gave you $5mil right now, what would be the first thing you bought?"
D "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?"
Customise these to fit your conversational style.

just don't try to force a subject if she doesn't like it just switch and try to listen and engage in an interactive discussion not a monologue.

I think these questions will work great!

 

[Georgepithyou]

First dates are action dates to keep the talking to a minimum

Can you be more specific, like what do you do for action dates?

 

[manfrombelow]

Anything that is light, fun, relaxing, positive, and not serious.

Basically showbiz stuff, food, travel, movies, hobbies, jokes... etc and definitely NOT politics, religion, murders, rape, philosophy, or STD because these topics are heavy, negative and not fun.

And let her do at least 80% of the talking. Don't try to out-talk her.

 

[darksprezzatura]

I like rock climbing every week. So I take girls w me to climb. It keeps me fit and creates attraction through adrenaline.

It filters out the women who don't like the idea and aren't into this lifestyle.

There are fewer chances to fvck up as conversation is limited.

Another example could be playing snooker or going for a hike.

 

[bat soup]

I noticed in another thread a user mentioned he didn't have many second dates, another user mentioned that it's good to follow a script.

This got me thinking of conversation topics that seem natural and aren't too forced on a first date.

So we have the F.O.R.D Forumula.

Family
Occupation
Recreation
Dreams (goals/aspirations)

If you run all these topics and cant get someone to light up and start spilling their guts then they may not like you. Almost every person is really into one of these 4.

Possible leading enquiries:

F "So, you got much family here?"
F "Big family? Small family?"
O "What you do for a living?
R "You got any weirdo hobbies I should know about?" (fun)
R "Are you fun though? What do get up to in your spare time?"
D "If I gave you $5mil right now, what would be the first thing you bought?"
D "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?"
Customise these to fit your conversational style.

just don't try to force a subject if she doesn't like it just switch and try to listen and engage in an interactive discussion not a monologue.

If you have to make such a huge effort just to maintain a conversation, it's likely that you're wasting your time on some low-interest biatch. Any person that is genuinely interested is going to make an effort to keep the conversation going.

Regarding subjects of conversation, avoid politics or anything serious at all costs. Even in the unlikely event that a woman is smart enough to know about these things, talking about them will either dry up her glory hole or make her angry and upset if you dare to disagree.

It's best to make her laugh and talk about things that make her horny, whilst getting close and feeling her up.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Ditch occupation and dreams. Both are too serious for a stranger. Recreation and family are good. Get her blabbing. Find out about her through stories and interests.

 

[Paper Crane]

if you need someone to tell you what you need to talk about on a date man, safe to say you got alot more experience to do in basic socializing than anything else

 

[Georgepithyou]

if you need someone to tell you what you need to talk about on a date man, safe to say you got alot more experience to do in basic socializing than anything else

Thank you. I hope you felt much better about your poor sad life after using your keyboard to degrade a virtual dude on the Internet

 

[Paper Crane]

Thank you. I hope you felt much better about your poor sad life after using your keyboard to degrade a virtual dude on the Internet

sorry you feel insulted. it wasn't a personal comment, but sounds you have low self esteem. good luck with that.

 

[manfrombelow]

Thank you. I hope you felt much better about your poor sad life after using your keyboard to degrade a virtual dude on the Internet

Did you just copy my comment?

 

[Georgepithyou]

Did you just copy my comment?

Yes it was very good

 

[Grinderman]

if you need someone to tell you what you need to talk about on a date man, safe to say you got alot more experience to do in basic socializing than anything else

Solid advice.

Observing ego is needed here in order to asses whether this is in fact needed for one's self. A skill that is necessary for personal growth and escaping from ego traps (such as addictions, obsessions, compulsions ). Am I being social enough? Do I need to socialize more? What can I do to become more social? are questions a man who is mindful (and detached from ego / ego defense mechanisims) will ask him "self". The self detached from the self asking the self is the essence of mindfulness and the pathway to growth. Without it, it is nothing but ego and defending your ego investments.

 

[Paper Crane]

Solid advice.

Observing ego is needed here in order to asses whether this is in fact needed for one's self. A skill that is necessary for personal growth and escaping from ego traps (such as addictions, obsessions, compulsions ). Am I being social enough? Do I need to socialize more? What can I do to become more social? are questions a man who is mindful (and detached from ego / ego defense mechanisims) will ask him "self". The self detached from the self asking the self is the essence of mindfulness and the pathway to growth. Without it, it is nothing but ego and defending your ego investments.

yeah i would say this is spot on. being honest with yourself and super aware is key to seeing what you need to do and work on.

equally, ego is what causes people hurt when you make general comments based upon your own truths. i've seen people talk a big game, but when it came down to small things like comments people made about them, their low self esteem quickly gets exposed.

 

[derby1]

Jesus Christ lol, I aint got a word in edge ways on my last 30 dates, these maidens just talk about themselves NON STOP

 

[TheNewStyle123]

Ditch occupation and dreams. Both are too serious for a stranger. Recreation and family are good. Get her blabbing. Find out about her through stories and interests.

Second this. A rules of sales: listen 90%, talk 10% (this could be a little extreme in some cases but you get the drift). If you just let her start talking you can almost assure she will divulge a lot of useful information. Do a lot of active listening. That always works too if you're not sure how to reply. I have also tried the "4 second rule." After someone (esp a woman) stops talking and ends their point, give it 4 seconds making eye contact and smiling (not creepily) but saying nothing. Most people hate silence and feel it's 'awkward' so they fill the silence with talk.

 

[Josh Davidson]

Second this. A rules of sales: listen 90%, talk 10% (this could be a little extreme in some cases but you get the drift). If you just let her start talking you can almost assure she will divulge a lot of useful information. Do a lot of active listening. That always works too if you're not sure how to reply. I have also tried the "4 second rule." After someone (esp a woman) stops talking and ends their point, give it 4 seconds making eye contact and smiling (not creepily) but saying nothing. Most people hate silence and feel it's 'awkward' so they fill the silence with talk.

By the 4 second rule do you mean count in your head 1, 2, 3, 4 OR one one thousand, two one thousand, three one thousand, four one thousand?

 

[Mister_Skinny_Jeanz]

If you have to make such a huge effort just to maintain a conversation, it's likely that you're wasting your time on some low-interest biatch. Any person that is genuinely interested is going to make an effort to keep the conversation going.

Regarding subjects of conversation, avoid politics or anything serious at all costs. Even in the unlikely event that a woman is smart enough to know about these things, talking about them will either dry up her glory hole or make her angry and upset if you dare to disagree.

It's best to make her laugh and talk about things that make her horny, whilst getting close and feeling her up.

just grab her by the.... nvm.

 

[TheNewStyle123]

By the 4 second rule do you mean count in your head 1, 2, 3, 4 OR one one thousand, two one thousand, three one thousand, four one thousand?

One one thousand, two one thousand brother! Sounds painful - and at first it may seem clunky and awkward to execute, but it really does work. I have field tested this plenty of times and no woman can go that long in a silence without saying something about herself or at the very least asking a question.