What do you say not to look bad when they ask you

[My Name is Nobody]

Going out to dinner and a few drinks will cost at least 50 dollars. Went to the Pub and had 2 beers Saturday, the b@stards charged 12 dollars.

 

[Latinoman]

Ok, first off, if I am not SERIOUS with a woman, I am sure as heck not going to be traveling with her. But yeah it's going to cost you money if you travel, but I dont think many guys just randomly travel with someone they aren't serious with. In my mind that is money well wasted.

D.C.. Yeah, I hear D.C is crazy for cost of living. I am in a place where the cost of living is one of the lowest in the US. I can tell you that my parents house with pool, finished basement and a total of 6,000sqft would be a couple of million in D.C. You can get that for under 450,000 where I am at.

We also dont have the glitz and glamor of a big city,so you dont spend money like you would maybe elsewhere.

I took a girl out once for frozen custard cause she never had it, and she had only had ice cream. She loved it, and was like... Wow, thanks for giving me an insight on this stuff. COST ME $4 FOR THE BOTH

And that is the thing. You have to define YOUR type of lifestyle, and determine where you live as well. I talked to a girl in DC and told her she was crazy for spending what she was on a place she was renting. She said something like $1,200 on a condo. For $1,400/month I can get a 5 bedroom house with 3.5 bath with over 3,000sqft.

She told me they spend their money on the lifestyle. We spend more of our money on housing, and dont worry as much about the lifestyle like D.C, Denver, or any other place would be like.

I guess it is a trade off.

In dc...for a STUDIO a person can pay about $1400 a month. I am talking here a studio.

The travel part was just an extreme. But even to go out to eat and get three or so drinks...you are going to pay about $50 minimum for YOU.

The point I am trying to make is that it costs money to enjoy life. Gas prices alone are a killer. Took me about $60 to fill out my vehicle. That's a lot of money. Can you imagine doing that once a week? That's $240 in a month, just in gasoline.

 

[Latinoman]

Your parents home could probably cost about $2 Million (perhaps more depending where they live).

 

[Omen]

In dc...for a STUDIO a person can pay about $1400 a month. I am talking here a studio.

The travel part was just an extreme. But even to go out to eat and get three or so drinks...you are going to pay about $50 minimum for YOU.

The point I am trying to make is that it costs money to enjoy life. Gas prices alone are a killer. Took me about $60 to fill out my vehicle. That's a lot of money. Can you imagine doing that once a week? That's $240 in a month, just in gasoline.

And that is why I dont live in D.C

To avoid the drink deal.... Date a chick who isnt 21 yet and you wont have to worry. :crackup:

Gas is killer and it's supposed to get worse. It's $3.19 where I am at. At least I get good gas mileage on my vehicle and work is only about 7 miles away, and the gym is about 2. So I dont do too much driving and I dont travel to other sides of the town much.

 

[Mr.Positive]

Joe, first off, the fact that you are stepping up to the plate and taking care of your family says a lot. THIS is something you should be proud of. It is not a negative thing to be ashamed of, because IMO, you are doing what a MAN does. You are taking care of the people you care about.

You are shouldering a lot more responsibility that most of us single guys who are independent.

Second, whatever answer you give to a woman, give with confidence and know that you are one hellofa guy for doing what you are doing. Your actions are proof of your character. A quality woman, would see this, however I do agree that a lot of women are just as superficial as the makeup they put on to hide their own "flaws"..

So Joe, you need to ask yourself, do you want to move out to pick up chicks? Or, because you are yearning for your independence?

It sounds like for your independence. I'm not going to lie to you, it's a great feeling striking out on your own and the freedom involved.

So, I also ask, if you were able to move out, yet still financially support your family, would you do that?

Perhaps, you moving out is the best way to actually help your family is what I'm saying. You would be slowly weaning them off of you, to the point, where they could experience the feeling of being self-sufficient.

Here's something to think about, I knew a guy several years ago in your exact situation. What he did, was this. He became an apartment manager for a 18-unit apartment building. The job was easy, and he got free rent from it. So basically, he kept his day job, managed the building in the evening (if it needed anything) and had a free apartment. He was able to take care of his family, because they needed it, yet still had his freedom and his own place.

Just something to think about. There is a lot of ways to achieve what your goal is...however, you need to decide what that goal is first. You are only trapped, when you let yourself be trapped.

 

[Latinoman]

Mr. Positive...that's a great advice. You even gave him a possible solution to his situation.

Excellent.

 

[Luthor Rex]

I talked to a girl in DC and told her she was crazy for spending what she was on a place she was renting. She said something like $1,200 on a condo. For $1,400/month I can get a 5 bedroom house with 3.5 bath with over 3,000sqft.

Yeah that sounds about right. I'm about an hour north of D.C. and my 1,100 sq.ft. town home (read: row home) with lopsided windows cost me $260,000.

I live in the "poor" part of town. But get it out of your head that I'm the poor part of some upscale neighborhood. Most of my neighbors are blue collar workers. No yuppies here!

 

[slitherjef]

I have a friend that has his own place, well, he lives with his sister. Between paying rent, getting food car payment and insurance... he has hardly any extra money.... but I guess on the bright side, he is stable and getting laid. He is in a LTR now. A while back his car broke down and needed to pay for a rental. He may have his own place and a car, but he sometimes needs help from his parents cause he aint got much money. His sister has a kid and one other one on the way and from what I understand hardly anyone helps him with rent.

Yeah, he is broke, no spare cash, but getting laid. He is a bit younger then I am

 

[Omen]

Yeah that sounds about right. I'm about an hour north of D.C. and my 1,100 sq.ft. town home (read: row home) with lopsided windows cost me $260,000.

I live in the "poor" part of town. But get it out of your head that I'm the poor part of some upscale neighborhood. Most of my neighbors are blue collar workers. No yuppies here!

WOW! I was told that you have to choose what you enjoy. The lifestyle of a place like that, or prefer to have the house.

I would prefer to have the house, or at least something 250,000 which would be very nice here, and still be able to have a decent car and live comfortably.

Some people say they would never trade the D.C lifestyle for anything.

For $260,000 you could pull off anywhere from 2,500-3,000sqft and about 3-5 bedrooms and 3 bath, 2 fireplaces, 2-3 car garage and FULL backyard.

 

[Poonani Maker]

If you're talking to a woman and, she keeps asking where you live, you can accuse her of being a little creepy, you can say something like, "You know, I hardly even know you, and you're already asking for detailed directions to my house, you're already trying to find out where I live. You're not gonna show up at my house tomorrow? expecting to move in? because if you are, I'm gonna have to get a restraining order against you, sorry."

 

[edger]

If a chick doesn't see I'm on my way to getting my own pad, a better job etc, and would judge me on that, then we both saved each other a lot of time.

This has really bugged me. No I don't "live at home" I pay rent etc. like I explained. It's a roomate situation. But yeah, working towards my own independence. It's nothing to be f'ing ashamed of. Rents in my area are through the roof as it is.

Doesn't mean I don't have my **** together.

Reset, like I told Joe, don't listen to him. Latinoman thinks he's got all the answers. Hah. I can see in this thread there are quite a few of us who think it's "superficial" to judge a guy based on where and who he lives with. And props to all of them for having enough smarts and WISDOM to realize that. You're absolutely right, a chick who will judge you based on where you live, saves you a lot of time. Women like that are good for nothing, except if she's hot, then she's only good for a good hard f*cking.....hehe.

 

[edger]

Fact is...there is NOT positive way of seeing this from a woman's perspective.

And why's that? Elaborate. Or maybe I can try to guess. Is it because the man is supposed to "chump out" where she'll be thinking along the lines of her sweety being able to provide and take care of the mooching, waste that she is?

Another thing...this is the U.S...not Italy.

Really?? I could've swore I lived in Europe. *strokes his chin in confusion*

At least Europeans have their heads on straight, have enough wisdom, and aren't superficial pieces of useless sh*t like a lot of Americans.

If you are NOT independent...then you are not in a position to be in a LTR. Not when you are in your upper 20s.

Who say's you can't live at home with a parent(s) and still be in a Long Term Relationship? It works fine. The only thing is you lack privacy, but it still can be done.

And what about the guy that makes enough money to have his own pad, but would still rather live with a parent(s)?

 

[edger]

Dude...that's the way it is in this country. Women see it as a negative.

Which is sad, and shows you how backwards, distorted, and f*cked up the U.S. is. Think about something for a second, ok? The United States is basically the only country where this exists. All of Europe and for the most part elsewhere, does not share this backwards, distorted, superficial mindset. Hmm, so that goes to show you the problem here is the United States. It goes to show you the terrible shape it is in, in terms of values and morals.

And why would a woman prefer a DEPENDENT man when there are plenty of INDEPENDENT men out there?

To a good souled woman, a "dependent" man as you put it, will mean nothing to her.

 

[Luthor Rex]

And why's that? Elaborate. Or maybe I can try to guess. Is it because the man is supposed to "chump out" where she'll be thinking along the lines of her sweety being able to provide and take care of the mooching, waste that she is?

I think it's the perception of things rather than what may actually be happening. A good friend of mine in highschool was required by his parents to make his own meals, do his own laundry and had to start paying rent at 18. They were trying to teach him self-reliance which is fine.

Most people though, seem to have it in their heads that if you 'live at home' then your mother waits on you hand and foot. Now, when I lived at home my mother did do my laundry (unlike my friend above); but I wouldn't ever have thought of her as some kind of domestic servant.

The point I'm trying to make here with the above is that I think it's people's perception of the situation and not necessarily the reality of it that is good or bad. I think if Joe explained he was the breadwinner then women won't think he's some kind of slacker. At the same time if he was a rock star and still lived with mom I'm sure most women wouldn't care.

 

[Luthor Rex]

Which is sad, and shows you how backwards, distorted, and f*cked up the U.S. is. Think about something for a second, ok? The United States is basically the only country where this exists. All of Europe and for the most part elsewhere, does not share this backwards, distorted, superficial mindset. Hmm, so that goes to show you the problem here is the United States. It goes to show you the terrible shape it is in, in terms of values and morals.

What is backwards is someone who thinks that a majority opinion is also a correct opinion. Ahh... the soft tyranny of social conformity...

What Americans are more against is the psychological dependency that living with one's parents may indicate rather than the actual physical dependancy.

The U.S. is also economically, technologically and militarily powerful nation on the planet. The frontier mentality that leads to independent thinking has largely helped this process. If Americans had looked at the world 50 years ago and said "well golly, everyone else is signing up for this communism thing I guess we should too, shucks!" Then we'd be in the same sh!t-hole mess most of this planet is in.

A general spirit of independence creates an atmosphere where being innovative and different from the norm is acceptable. That doesn't mean American society doesn't have a strong conformist streak, it just means that being non-conformist is an option and people won't stone you to death for being that way.

Bringing something new to the world, by definition, means thinking and doing things independent of the majority. It's no accident that the majority of new things and change in the world had come from America in the last few decades and not the rest of the world.

 

[Omen]

My thought on this, in my situation, is that if a WOMAN doesn't see what I see, or support the fact I am doing this to start a business, she isn't worth my time.
I know women cost money, but they dont cost as much as was posted for me anyway. I have gotten along just fine without ever spending that much, and i've had LTRs too.

You have to realize you can go out, have fun, and do MANY things and not unload the wallet. You can also just chill. Watch a movie, play pool, hang out with friends, etc etc. It's all in how you manage what you have. I have managed JUST FINE. And no time soon will I spend that much on a woman. So I dont worry about that whole.... "Well, how are you going to afford a woman" deal. I've done it and i'll do it again.

Now back to my original thought, I even test women with the whole.... Yeah, I live at home still so I can get my business off of the ground. I'm trying to save some money and instead of spending it on rent, i'm using it for start-up costs.

I'll then see her reaction and see how she goes on. I had one girl once whine that she said I should just forget it and do a 9-5pm job like everyone else and their mom. THIS IS NOT ME.

I've had other girls say.... Wow, I respect that, and can tell you have dreams and goals, and you are doing whatever it takes to get there.

A girl that tells me she has no problem with it and would be supportive is the type of woman that is a winner in my book. I know she'll understand, and even if I do move out, she'll be supportive of the fact I run my own business.

If I find one that doesn't like the fact I live at home so I can do something that has been a dream of mine (though it will be the second business i've owned) they aren't worth my time.

Like I said before. I look at what is at the end of the path and not what is there at the moment. To get to where I want to be, and be doing what I want to be doing the rest of my life, I do what it takes, even if it means living at home for the time being.

I think people who have owned a business before can understand this, and sometimes people who haven't, dont realize what it takes.

 

[Nighthawk]

The fact is that living with your parents, for good reason or bad, is a huge negative with most women. Are they shallow for thinking that? If your genuinely doing it to look after your family, maybe so, but them's the breaks, they don't reward noble intentions with their pussy, just what turns them on.

I'm talking about the UK and it seems the US is the same. Italy and maybe some other European countries seem to have a different take on it, but unless your planning on moving there you have to deal with the reality.

Like any other negative, you can make up for it in other areas - but there is no doubt that it is a negative and you guys still living at home will realise that when you get your own place - even if it's a dump. How can a woman scream with orgasmic pleasure if she thinks she might wake up your folks?

As for a practical solution, apart from moving out at the earliest opportunity, the 'I'm supporting my family because they have no one else' line sounds best. I think you'd honestly be better off saying you were homeless.

 

[Latinoman]

And why's that? Elaborate. Or maybe I can try to guess. Is it because the man is supposed to "chump out" where she'll be thinking along the lines of her sweety being able to provide and take care of the mooching, waste that she is?

Well...I am just telling you how women see a man OLDER than 25 living with his parents. It is what it is. If you don't want to see that...then you are blind.

Really?? I could've swore I lived in Europe. *strokes his chin in confusion*

At least Europeans have their heads on straight, have enough wisdom, and aren't superficial pieces of useless sh*t like a lot of Americans.

Maybe you should move to Europe.

Who say's you can't live at home with a parent(s) and still be in a Long Term Relationship? It works fine. The only thing is you lack privacy, but it still can be done.

What you just described is pathetic and it is NOT a DJ way of doing things. You live at your parents...you are NOT the man of the house. The MAN is your father (or mother).

And what about the guy that makes enough money to have his own pad, but would still rather live with a parent(s)?

This is what is wrong. A thing that I learn when I lived alone is the HUGE responsibility of keeping the bills paid on time and keeping the home in order. Making sure things were fixed and not let them break down. Also, the legal responsibilities too.

Relying that responsibilities to your parents are NOT allowing you to MATURE as an adult. That's a fact.

 

[Latinoman]

Which is sad, and shows you how backwards, distorted, and f*cked up the U.S. is. Think about something for a second, ok? The United States is basically the only country where this exists. All of Europe and for the most part elsewhere, does not share this backwards, distorted, superficial mindset.

All those countries come to the U.S. begging for our help and way of live. We produce more BILLIONAIRES than any other country. We have the best PhDs and graduate programs in the World. No offense...but that's what makes us GREAT. And if you don't like it...you can always move abroad.

Hmm, so that goes to show you the problem here is the United States. It goes to show you the terrible shape it is in, in terms of values and morals.

What is so "valuable" and "moralistic" about DEPENDING on and taking advantage of your parents? What is so terrible about wanting to be INDEPENDENT? What is so bad about a woman choosing an INDEPENDENT man over one that lives with dad and mom? What is so bad about a woman choosing a man that ALREADY is considered the MAN of his home than one that delegates that authority to his dad or mom?

To a good souled woman, a "dependent" man as you put it, will mean nothing to her.

Don't kid yourself...over 90% of the women in the U.S. want a man that is INDEPENDENT (especially if that man is over 25).

 

[Latinoman]

I think it's the perception of things rather than what may actually be happening. A good friend of mine in highschool was required by his parents to make his own meals, do his own laundry and had to start paying rent at 18. They were trying to teach him self-reliance which is fine.

Most people though, seem to have it in their heads that if you 'live at home' then your mother waits on you hand and foot. Now, when I lived at home my mother did do my laundry (unlike my friend above); but I wouldn't ever have thought of her as some kind of domestic servant.

The point I'm trying to make here with the above is that I think it's people's perception of the situation and not necessarily the reality of it that is good or bad. I think if Joe explained he was the breadwinner then women won't think he's some kind of slacker. At the same time if he was a rock star and still lived with mom I'm sure most women wouldn't care.

It is bad.

If you lives in your parents homes...they are the ones making the HARD decisions. Especially when it comes to paying bills or trading off issues (e.g. should I fix the ceiling this month or should I instead replace the window) and taxes and other responsibilities. In essence...it is about MANAGING a home and its responsibilities.

That's the real issue.

A quality woman deserves an idependent man. No some dude that at age 35 needs to be calling mom and dad for advice on how to manage his home.

Of course, each situation is different and we have to look at things from a case by case basis.

I am NOT saying it is bad from MY perspective. I also come from a culture that have adult males living with parents. All I am saying is that it is VERY bad from a female point of view and there is NOTHING you can do about to change that.