"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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What do you say after nexting a chick?

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hansol

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Hi guys,

I'm just curious what some of you have told girls after you've moved on to greener pastures. I'm not talking about nasty savage breakups or one-itis "no-contact" types, but the ones where you meet a chick, you guys hit it off but you aren't really that in to her.

There's a girl I was interested in seeing lately, we had been out of touch for a few years. We chatted a bit and caught up, but the more we talked, the more red flags started to pop up, and I kinda lost interest. I deleted her number, facebook, everything, and I'm just waiting for the whole "why aren't you talking to me anymore?" thing.

Do you just ignore it and never talk to her again? Do you do like a typical chick and just make up some ridiculous excuse to placate her, then flake? Just be honest and tell her you don't see it going anywhere? Or just a simple "Sorry, I've just been really busy with work" and ignore everything afterwards?

I'm definitely interested to hear some experiences about this, and what worked best. Thanks guys.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Naughty Ninja

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Tell them you're going to post a question on sosuave forums on what to say to them after you've decided to "next" them. Or don't say anything at all.
 
S

starfishandcoffee

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If she's in front of you (this is ideal), yell NEEEEEEXT like you do when you're working at Subway.

If she's not in front of you, just text that to her.
 
H

hansol

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It's a serious question man. I know you dig the belligerent angle, but mainly it was based on curiosity.

I mean blowing the chick off outright means closing a door to her hot friends. She's not an "ex", so there's no emotional drama to suck you back in. Personally I would guess it's best to just be pleasant to her, but to never get involved or make plans or such.

But seeing as I've never been in this situation before, I figured maybe I'd throw it out there and see what came up. So thanks for your constructive input.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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PRMoon

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hansol said:
It's a serious question man. I know you dig the belligerent angle, but mainly it was based on curiosity.

I mean blowing the chick off outright means closing a door to her hot friends. She's not an "ex", so there's no emotional drama to suck you back in. Personally I would guess it's best to just be pleasant to her, but to never get involved or make plans or such.

But seeing as I've never been in this situation before, I figured maybe I'd throw it out there and see what came up. So thanks for your constructive input.
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If she says something to you and doesn't take the obvious ignore hints, give it to her straight up man. You two knew each other in the past but things have changed. You just don't see a romantic future happening between the two of you and she should let it go. It's okay for you guys just to be friends but you're not interested in anything else.

This is something called being an adult male which takes some practice and seems odd but is ultimately coming to grips with reality as it is. Being firm in your beliefs and showing it to others is not as easy as it seems but is essential in the process of growing up.
 
W

Warrior74

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PRMoon said:
If she says something to you and doesn't take the obvious ignore hints, give it to her straight up man. You two knew each other in the past but things have changed. You just don't see a romantic future happening between the two of you and she should let it go. It's okay for you guys just to be friends but you're not interested in anything else.

This is something called being an adult male which takes some practice and seems odd but is ultimately coming to grips with reality as it is. Being firm in your beliefs and showing it to others is not as easy as it seems but is essential in the process of growing up.
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This. How hard is it to say, I think your cute but I don't see things going forward between us. I think we should just be friends.

Only a brave man can say those words. Scared children shout out next or other pithy statements used to hide their fear. And taht fear is sensed and not respected. Say what you have to say in private with a strong calm demenor and respect for both of you, and then leave asap. Don't sit around and discuss why you don't want her. That is never a good thing. People tend to get angry when you reject them, and even angrier when you point out their shortcomings. Just be firm and brief.
 
H

hansol

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Thanks guys. This was the insight I was looking for. Best regards.
 
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DonutMan

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Man it up and be honest with her. We hate it when chicks do that sh** to us. Why do it to them? Be noble and be a man for gods sake.
 
Jay Dee

Jay Dee

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Just say you should be friends if she pushes for an answer.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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facadegeniality

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PRMoon said:
If she says something to you and doesn't take the obvious ignore hints, give it to her straight up man. You two knew each other in the past but things have changed. You just don't see a romantic future happening between the two of you and she should let it go. It's okay for you guys just to be friends but you're not interested in anything else.

This is something called being an adult male which takes some practice and seems odd but is ultimately coming to grips with reality as it is. Being firm in your beliefs and showing it to others is not as easy as it seems but is essential in the process of growing up.
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Does this mean that after one decides to next a gal, we just go NC? What you are saying here is to give it to her straight up when she says something, right? If she doesn't, do we need to let them know?

I have always been doing the NC but just wanna know what other guys do.
 
R

runner83

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Definitely no contact if you're not in the same social circles. Although it does depend on what your objective is. Do you want her as a friend still?

Never say "no contact". Makes you look needy and immature. A simple fade out is best - don't say you're busy with stuff (i.e. other women) - simply make it so.

If you won't see her again otherwise, you don't want her for a LTR or even an STR, why not just have a "fun time together" and move on.
 
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