What Do You Make of this?

[jafyk]

Mary is a single mom that lives in another town about 40 mins away. We mostly chat and talk on the phone sometimes. (says she prefers chatting and texting). Prior to yesterday morning we had been intimate 3 times. Prior to that she said she didn't want to get into another relationship, mostly because of a bad experience she had with her ex-husband who cheated on her. Now, I don't see Mary often but 2 days ago she came to watch my game and then we went to my place saw a movie, gave her a massage and we did it. She wouldn't go for another round because she said she was sore. So, we slept and the next morning (yesterday) I tried to get my freak on but she refused (saying she was sore) she did try to J#rk me off but that didn't work. Anyway, she got quiet and I asked her what was wrong she wouldn't talk. Not too long after she gets dressed and leaves. I called her later and she said she couldn't talk at the moment but later. Later we spoke on the phone and she said she didn't think it was going to work between us because it seems I like S3x a lot and was trying to get her to do it even when she said she was sore. That she had this same problem with her ex and he cheated which led to their divorce. Anyway, I told her I didn't only want s3x and that I was sorry for being insistent. We got of the phone and we chatted online and then she asks me this "so is it possible for us to be friends?
or we just gonna stop talking" So, what's with this question? I told her I didn't know because to me when it comes to friendship with women they are usually one sided (females choice mainly). I know a lot of your beliefs here about single mom etc. So, please be kind in your criticism. Anyway, what's it to her if we are friends or not?

 

[jafyk]

Please, I'd like a response. Thank you.

 

[Interceptor]

She's trying to play the shame game and trying to make you think you're the bad guy for wanting sex with her. So she will start controlling the sex so she can get her intimacy needs met but not give you physical satisfaction.
She is trying to control the frame her and make you feel ashamed of yourself thus, control the pacing and rationing out what SHE wants to give to you, and you're supposed to be satisfied with crumbs. And if you complain or dont like it , she'll play more of the blame game and convince you that your irrational, inconsiderate, a sex fiend, etc etc..
and you're falling for this hook line and sinker.

This is a dead end, bro.

Let her go.

She's obviously not interested in being sexual with you anymore, and if at all, she is going to make it all be on her terms, without consideration for you or your needs.
This is a bad scene, man.
She wants to be 'friends' so she can manipulate you better, and ifyou accept it, then you give her an 'out' and she can reject you because you're 'friends', and guess what? Friends dont have sex together.

This is all because you're not strong enough in your frame and dont know what you want. So she is calling the shots and trying to force you to her terms.

I hope this helps.
Good luck.

 

[jafyk]

Something I forgot to mention is that she said after the birth of one of her children she got injured there and having sex is difficult because of that. How true that is I don't know. Does it make any difference?

 

[sodbuster]

If she was interested, she could have surgery to have it fixed. I just had the same conversation. She didn't want to be physical-just friends. I said I had a marriage like that. She replied"thanks for understanding", but she's the one who didn't understand-I'm divorced from my wife!

 

[Cinamon]

Its not worth sticking around for. If you get anything out of the friendship then by all means continue, but i dont think i would.

 

[WaterTiger]

Injury during childbirth is more common than you think, but as previously stated, you can get it fixed.

This woman just dosen't want to have sex or at least not with you. Dump her. Find some one with less drama.

 

[jafyk]

yeah, guys the whole thing is weird. Cos initially she said she didn't want to have sex outside of a relationship. If the medical reason was the main thing then she should've mentioned it right from the get go. By the way is Cinamon a female?