what do you guys think ?

[Sir_Laid_A_Lot]

Need some help on this guys !!!!

Ok recently this is what happened with me and my GF of 4 months.

It was time to have sex but i was not in the mood. She asked me what was going on but initially i decided to keep quite. However she insisted that i tell her and thought i'd give her a piece of my mind and let her know what i was actually thinking. What i told her henceforth came out wrong. I told her that i lost interest in SEX WITH HER. Then she started to cry and tell me why i hadn't told her earlier. She told me that she almost quit her job for me and that is all i can do, LOSE INTEREST IN HER. I told her that what i said had come out wrong and that she had nothing to worry about. We had sex a while after that commotion. That was two days ago. Yesterday she sent me this TEXT.

HER: Hey i have been thinking a lot about what happened last time and what you said and i realized that i was wrong about you all along. You deserve someone better. Believe me when i say this, i am grateful for everything you did to me but i guess as stupid as i am i actually believed it could work between us. No matter what you say, you will never change and i don't want to cry myself to sleep. My life is already pathetic as i am. So do yourself a favor, be who you are and have fun. I won't be there to stop you. Meeting you was one of the best things that happened in **** but the person who i am coming to know is scary. I don't know what to do or say anymore. I just wish you could have told me earlier that you are losing interest not only in that but in us. I found that out now.

ME: You are overanalyzing this thing. It came out the wrong way. What i meant to tell you was that i was not in the mood at that moment. I was tired. You are being too hard on yourself. Just take things easy sometimes.

HER: All i am doing is making things easier for you.

ME:You don't know what i want. You are just assuming. Sometimes i say things that sound way different than what i intend to tell.

HER: Tell me what do you want so that i won't assume.

ME: What i want is to take back what i said about the interest part. The rest you know what i want.

HER: I am sleeping now had a tiring day. You sleep as well.

ME:K, Kiss.

SHE SENT ME A TEXT YESTERDAY TELLING ME THAT SHE WAS SORRY FOR SENDING THOSE TEXTS TO ME, ESPECIALLY THE LONG ONE AND THAT SHE WOULD LIKE TO TAKE THEM BACK.

I TRIED CALLING HER A FEW TIMES BUT HER PHONE WAS ON AIRPLANE MODE WHILE I THOUGHT THAT THE CONNECTION WAS F*CKED. SHE SAW THE 7 TIMES I TRIED TO CALL. SHE TOLD THAT TO ME WHEN I CALLED HER IN THE EVENING. I FELT AFC THAT SHE KNEW THE NO OF TIMES I TRIED CALLING HER. SOMETHING FEELS STRANGE HERE.

I HAVE INITIATED NC WITH HER.

Ok guys let's analyze this. It would be nice to have some opinions on the board.

Yours Sincerely,
Sir_Laid_A_Lot

 

[Sir_Laid_A_Lot]

Bump!!!!

 

[forgottenDreams]

I don't think there's an issue here. You hurt her feeling dude and she deserves giving you some **** for it. Relax though, you haven't lost her. Do something nice for her like take her out to dinner or get her a rose or something. Trust me though, you're fine.

 

[foreverAFC]

all of a sudden i feel a hell of a lot better about being single

 

[Sir_Laid_A_Lot]

Could HARRY WILMINGTON and BACKBREAKER give their opinions on this one ? It'd be of great help .....

 

[Sir_Laid_A_Lot]

I don't think there's an issue here. You hurt her feeling dude and she deserves giving you some **** for it. Relax though, you haven't lost her. Do something nice for her like take her out to dinner or get her a rose or something. Trust me though, you're fine.

I haven't met her since then. Dinner sounds good. We have been going out for dinners twice a week or so. But buying her a rose, no way.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

From the looks of what you wrote, it sounds like you're dating a girl with very LOW SELF-ESTEEM. I've dated girls like this before, and they eventually become a pain to be around: everything you say or do is taken out of context - usually in a negative way - and they can become very moody, clingy, or flakey.

Granted, the way you worded your sentiments to her weren't in the best of terms. When giving a woman a "no" response on anything - in this case, sex - you need to be able to do it in a way that gets your point across without sounding insulting. In this case, you could have simply said "sorry, I'm just not in the mood TONIGHT" verses saying you lost interest in sex with HER. The first way makes it seem like a passing thing, whereas the way you chose to phrase it made it seem like a personal attack on her sex skills and her ability to please you physically.

I don't think she's lost interest in you - after all, she took back what she said via text (which, for the record, you should steer clear of - click the link in my signature to read why texting KILLS relationships) and answered your phone call. However, I'm more worried about her lack of self-esteem, and that she was initially so quick to dump you after you explained things to her. It sounds like she doesn't feel worthy of someone dating her and was using this incident as a way to give you an out NOW, when the blow to her feelings would be less impacted than if she were to stick around, grow even closer to you, and then get dumped by you later on.

Personally, I would have used the out and gotten out of it; like I said, there is NO fun in dating women with low self-esteem. However, if you're still wanting to be with her, there's no need to go completely no contact on her. Just date her like normal -i.e. hit her up when you want to take her out, limit most of your conversations to when you see her in person, and THINK before you SAY things so you can relay your messages to her in ways that don't sound like personal insults. Hope this helps!