"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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What do you guys think?

Eccentric

Senior Don Juan
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So on Friday, an old co-worker of mine popped back into my life very briefly, it was on AIM. I tried before to stay off this program to help end an internet addiction, but it's just become a part of every day life that I should accept, anyways...

She used to have a crush on me at work. At the time, I was still new to all this stuff and was too nervous of the "what if" scenarios to actually make a move. This led me down one road, and her another. We used to talk all the time on AIM, but never called each other or went out with each other. She was the type of girl that would date the REAL *******s. Not the guys who tease and bust balls, the ones who physically and mentally abuse you. No matter what you'd tell her, she'd say she learned her lesson. A few months later she's crying another river and the whole "why can't I meet a nice guy, in the meantime I'll date this prick" phase would repeat. So after almost 2 years without any contact she signs on. The typical "hey whats up, how have you been" convo lasts about 20 minutes or so. I ask where she's been, lo and behold it was a bad relationship. Apparently he didn't allow her on MySpace, AIM, etc...

Just like Marlon Brando in the Godfather, I'm a bit skeptical. When I talked to this girl, she was addicted to MySpace, AIM, and her SideKick. She was the type to have dozens and dozens of friends screen names. I find it hard to believe that one guy made her give that all up, unless she was in serious delusion about what they had together. Simple explanation? I was most likely blocked. Why? Who knows, maybe her boyfriend was jealous of a guy who never ever saw his girlfriend outside of work.

So it struck me as odd when she's said that it was great talking to me, and gives me her # saying we should go out sometime. She said she's changed, but I doubt it. She's still only 22. The only change a 22 year old girl knows is when certain shoes are out of style. So why the change of heart? Personally I think that she thinks I'm still a naive fool in some way. That'd I'd be the rebound guy to make her feel better for a few weeks until she moves on. Then again, I never give myself enough credit. Maybe she DID change, and wants to start hanging out with old friends (cough co-workers).

I'm not going to linger on this, for the simple fact that I'm already seeing someone. I just wanted to know what you guys think of this, because my mind runs a mile a minute. Damn it me!
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Obsidian

Master Don Juan
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Grow the f*ck up, chump. It doesn't matter if she's "changed." The reason she dated all those assh0les instead of you is because YOU were too chicken to ask her out. She had a crush on you and she still does (as much as can be possible considering you haven't seen her in two years). Just f*cking call her already, and quit wasting our time with these stupid questions.


edit -- hmm, ok I missed the last line about your being semi-unavailable. If you're not goin' steady with this current girl, tho, use the AIM girl for an additional plate to spin.
 

Eccentric

Senior Don Juan
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I wasn't questioning what to do with her. I was questioning why someone after two years would yell surprise and act like nothing happened. Crush or no crush, whatever... I'll let it die because I have no desires with this girl.
 
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