"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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What do you guys think of this?

Sin Verdad

Don Juan
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Written by someone I know:

I'm tired of everyone acting as a fallacy of their true self.

Too many people act as those that they are not. Why can't people display themselves as they truly are? It forces those who want to act as themselves to do the same: act as they are not. The same happens with myself. Sometimes I don't know who I am because I am forced to act as someone who I am not simply because everyone around me acts as (I know) they aren't. This is mostly directed toward the female sex who constantly portray themselves as a mere image of who they want to be. This is not meant as an offense to females, rather the contrary. I simply wish my feelings to be expressed. Too often I am I forced to accept that integration with women will require myself to change my entire persona. I must act as I am not and therefore be a total fraud of who I wish and truly feel to be. I DO NOT WISH TO DO SO!!! How am I to know compatibility if I must change (almost) my entire self to help ensure my success with women?

We're all human beings and have lived long enough to know what is true and what is false. Why can we not, as supposed adults, act like we are who we are without beginning some complex farcical play to extenuate some sort of mask we wish ourselves to wear over the more defected person we truly are? Life should not be some idiotic play we all participate in, especially when it involves social activities. What I have said so far maybe some drunken rant where I am merely venting my inner most frustrations, but I feel as if they may never be corrected or come to an acceptable fruition. I constantly feel as if I must act as someone I am not. Perhaps I must alter my behavior but I wish someone would at least guide me to that logic. I am willing to change my outlook on events but I am not willing to accept that so many people change themselves so that they may seem more acceptable in certain circumstances (socially).

Oneself should be who one is truly in their spirit and not who they wish to be according to others, for who is oneself if they are decided by others other than themselves? A fallacy! I know that I am not totally knowledgeable in who I am and who I should be, but at least I try not to be some fake of myself. I do not hide that I personally camouflage my own vices. If they be the deciding factor in who others see me as then so be it. At least I am being myself. My seeming optimism in basically any and all situations (if you know me well enough) could be considered a virtue but let that not diminish what I truly experience inside myself. Depression is not outright extroverted in character. Much is left to the constantly debating and deliberating introverted self. Thus there is so much more that is to be said by myself that I feel I cannot.

Sadly I feel as if there is no one who I truly feel I may confess those thoughts deepest within myself so that I can be content with the feelings expressed being totally and utterly thought over and discussed with myself and another, whoever they may be. Call this a deficiency of my own or something more, I care not. What I say is the truth and I will no longer hide it. That is all that I expect from myself and from others. If only I others would confide the same. This world would be much different...

There is a ship that I know will take me to a better place. She will lead me there yet I see no vessel to choose as of yet. Perhaps I already know what ship is the one to board but nothing has caused me to trust in one totally. The sea is dangerous and I do not want to traverse it without some lovely ship to lead me there...
Anyways to help this guy?
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

Read more...

zzeitgeist

Don Juan
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Dec 2, 2007
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right...

If you feel your changing who you are to be with someone then you got this whole thing wrong.. your supposed to improve yourself, work on yourself and not work on becoming someone else. You don't have to change to get girls, but you must create attraction... you can create attraction without changing who you are as a person.
 

kingman

Don Juan
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Aug 19, 2008
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AFCs are changing personalities because they care to much about what other people thinks of them..............

DJ improves
 

TheEdgeOf

Banned
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Mar 8, 2008
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And who are we really? An accumulation of experiences and social conditioning. Fluke. We are fluke. To try and stay true to something that was based on chance in the first place is illogical. Who we isn't something special, it's coincidence so there really isn't much of a reason to cherish it. We have no true self, so be being "something that we're not" isn't actually being fake, it's just being something else that we're not.

Conform if you want to and don't if you don't, I don't care either way. You're friend's need for a sense of self is just a socially conditioned response anyway.

Personally, I don't conform to everyone else expectations, but that's just 'cause I think it's more interesting. If someone else wants to go ahead to be like the others, let them. It's their choice. And why does your friend care about them anyway? As long as he stays true to "himself," he should be fine.

By telling people to conform to his ideals, he's being hypocritical. There's nothing that anyone should be or needs to be, only illusions of those things.

And I think that this whole essay is just a self justification about his inability to pick up chicks.
 
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