"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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What do you do?

S

Salacious D

Don Juan
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You're next to a guy who's a friend of yours, but not a good friend. In front of you is a girl you're interested in. Your friend says that the girl is very pretty, beautiful, whatever. To her face. He then turns to you and asks, don't you agree? What do you do? What do you say?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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L

LikRetsam

Master Don Juan
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Hmm I don't know... Her nose sort of just captures the attention.
 
T

triple_ultima

Senior Don Juan
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If it were me I would probably shrug and say "I've seen better." But I'm a complete and total jackass.
 
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