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What Do You Do With Flaky "Friends"

Georgepithyou

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I know a Lot of us here have little tolerance for flaky women, but what do you do when it is male acquaintance,Work mate or Activity Buddy? I wouldn't say friend exactly since a true friend wouldn't flake.

Do you have the same one strike your out rule for male "friends" or are you more lenient?
 

Asseater

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I wouldnt even think about it really. I wont see my friends for months or years at a time sometimes and when we want to see eachother we do. Being a man is busy and I wouldn't hold that against them if they live busy lives (most of them are successful and do.)
 

Black Widow Void

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Do you have the same one strike your out rule for male "friends" or are you more lenient?
More lenient?

Your bar should be raised higher for the fellow man. I hate like h3ll making concessions for women, but if I held them to the same standards that I set for myself, I'd have fewer (if any) dates.

Yeah, it sucks. Throughout my life time, I've had to weed out a few male friends that I thought were solid.
I miss a few of them, but if their behavior responsibilities do not measure up to how you treat others.... it's time to give 'em their walking papers.
 

CAPSLOCK BANDIT

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Where I'm from, you get looked at funny for not being around people you grew up with, have a tolerance for most nonsense, only buddy I don't mess with now, he shot himself while trying to shoot a stop sign, like if your 14, ok sure, but past 20 ain't nobody got time for that.

I haven't spoken to some buddies in years, but they would ride for me if I asked and id pull strings for them to this day.

Friends and enemies are useful at times, good to have around, people make mistakes, forgiveness should never be unattainable unless it's a thing of like health or life and death.

Most flaky dudes I know have deeper problems than just being a flake, those problems are why I don't hang around them, but being a flake is usually forgivable.
 

Serenity

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I understand that they have stuff to do, I just hang out when we have time. For a woman which I might want to be involved with it's a lot different, I expect to be with her a lot more.

It's not comparable. With a woman who interests me as more than an acquaintance or a friend I will lose interest in her rapidly if she flakes. With an acquaintance or even a friend there's no hard feelings if we just drift apart and later want to pick it back up.

So yes, there's a big difference to me.
 

Who Dares Win

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It depends what you mean by flakey, do they agree to meet and change their mind 5 mins before the set time?
 

Georgepithyou

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It depends what you mean by flakey, do they agree to meet and change their mind 5 mins before the set time?
Usually a day or a few hours before the set time, and yes this is after they agreed to the time and place a few days or even a week in advance.

We all know things come up, but it isn't that hard to keep one evening a week free.
 

Who Dares Win

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Usually a day or a few hours before the set time, and yes this is after they agreed to the time and place a few days or even a week in advance.

We all know things come up, but it isn't that hard to keep one evening a week free.
A day in advance is not that bad, few hours before is not great but still not that big problem at least in my opinion.

We have to accept that the more comms get faster, the less planning is possible.

I'm guilty of that myself but never flaked on a single friend ofc, sometime flaked on a group meeting since I realize that wouldnt strongly impact anyone.

I would say that they either got a necessity or probably you're not their top priority but it depends from which country are you since culture altough getting similar everywhere is still different.
 

redskinsfan92

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I know a Lot of us here have little tolerance for flaky women, but what do you do when it is male acquaintance,Work mate or Activity Buddy? I wouldn't say friend exactly since a true friend wouldn't flake.

Do you have the same one strike your out rule for male "friends" or are you more lenient?
I buy them dandruff shampoo
 

Romanemp22

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Flaky friends are not worth myself time. Once ok if it's something legit but other than that, we're not hanging out anymore.
 

Reyaj

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This is an interesting topic and one I've thought about and dealt with a lot.

The truth I've come to realize through life and experience is that everyone at some point will let you down. I myself as I am sure others have let someone down at some point in time as well.

If we're talking just plans here I think there's always going to be times when people cancel. Your best bet is assessing the magnitude of the event they are flaking on and if its a pattern of behavior. If the event is important and their reason for flaking is subpar I'd no longer keep them close. If they flake consistently but otherwise aren't bad to communicate with I'd just keep them on the backburner.
 

speed dawg

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My time and attention are my two most valuable assets, and I have zero patience or understanding for those who disrespect.

I tend to completely shut out those who flake. Never in a confrontational way, but there's a 99.9% chance that I'll block the number and never talk to them again.
This is basic stuff right here. It's not even about 'friends', it's about anyone who disrespects those two things. Flaking is disrespect, period. If you plan to meet someone and you have a legitimate reason to break that meeting, you let them know. To flake out is unforgiveable because it means you don't care, which is one of the most degrading feelings you can feel towards a person.
 
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