What do you do when you go to bars alone?

[Daddy The Pimp]

Update!!


Ok, I'm suprised I had the courage to actually go through with this but I went and let me tell you it didn't feel anywhere as weird as I thought it would feel. I actually felt alright being at the bar by myself. However...

I really do think I need a complete change in strategy for me to actually get anything useful out of my new venture. First of all, the bar was fvcking packed. It didn't look that much different from a saturday night. Needless to say all the bartenders were ping ponging around the bar the whole time so actually starting up a conversation with them was impossible. As soon as I walked in the bar I knew I was going to be flying this completely solo.

Some first time observations about the bar scene from the perspective of someone who isn't with their friends. For one, EVERYBODY ELSE IS with their friends. I never realized how much people go to bars in packs until i was not in one myself. When I hit up the bars on the weekends I usually roll with about 10-15 people, and it looks like so does everybody else! As I was sitting at the bar drinking my beer just observing, I seriously didn't really see a group of people less than 6. In fact most are 10+ deep huddled within their own groups. I sat there and realized as long as I have been going to bars (years), I have never had some random dude approach our group and start talking to us. I see why.

Anyway I need to rethink my strategy. My goal is to pick up women, or at least talk to women to pratice my conversation skills, and that definately aint happening in that kind of environment. The bars could be packed on a tuesday because its the holidays, who knows, but I think the first thing I need to do is start going way earlier, maybe around 8 or 9, what do you guys think?

Also, I was thinking about picking up a few "bar skills" to kill time and to look busy instead of just sitting at the bar watching TV or whatever. Maybe learn how to play darts or something? Or start only going to bars with pool tables? Can you guys think of anything else that would help me out?

Man , instead of choding around the bar , you should have approached the very FIRST set that you saw. Read what i posted earlier on this post and try it.Im talking from experience not from what "I THINK IT WILL WORK".

 

[AAAgent]

I've done it few times.Even when i go with my wings , we separate and we sarge solo but help each other when we need help.

Anyway , about sarging solo, here are two main steps :

1. Preparing yourself to go out alone

Be ready as always. Remember , you're there to make progress , to get out of your comfort zone , to practice game and the second you get rejected , you just hit restart button and start the game from the beginning. Im saying this because you need to get over rejection. In all means. Rejection should not affect you. Or you'll get stucked in your head for the rest of the night thinking why im being rejected.

Everyone gets rejected . Tim (on flawless natural ) says that you should use " MISS 5 APPROACHED " to generate fury. He says that you can get rejected about 5 times until you get your sh1t together(vocal projection , body language etc.) .
So don't worry. Just go there to have fun and make progress on your game and be ready to meet some cool/fvcked up people .
Also , try to hit the state before going out.


2.Stepping in the club

The second that you get inside , you should approach the first fvcking set that you see. I dont care if they are a mixed group , or they are fvcking fat and ugly. FIRST SET.

Approach them with whatever you want , opinion or natural opener. Just approach :cuss: .

Dont scan the bar , dont try to get a drink , don't go to bathroom. Just approach the first set. Than second , than third . Every set.

By now , youll be in talkative mode , and you'll know most of the people in the bar. Now you can decide who's worth your time and who's not.

I will be waiting for your report. Hit me up with a PM when you write your report down .




Peace

DaddyThePimp

When you get rejected more than a few times in the same social setting.... won't people start noticing or atleast start talking about it if they just saw u talking to them, then 5 minutes later talking to another set and another 15 minutes later see you with another set.

Can this work against you in small social settings like a bar.

it usually shouldn't matter but if the approach goes sour and bad on a couple of these sets instead of leaving on a good note i think this could backfire.

clubs are bigger so that is not likely to happen and also more people are focusing on dancing and drinking than socializing but bars alot of people social and chitchat and sometimes scan the area.

doing the MISS 5 before arriving at the social setting seems like a good idea though. good warm up.

 

[Magma]

My goal is to pick up women

Wrong. That is not your goal. Your goal is to enjoy yourself.

Women are a secondary benefit to this.




Give it time. You'll settle into your game soon, and before you know it, you'll be crushing ass.



One more question. Did you say that you usually go out with 10-15 people? What a facking nightmare...

 

[Lush]

I want to make this easy for you:

Q: What do you do when you go to bars alone?
A: Talk to people.

It's that simple. No one thinks your weird. No one gives a ****.

Lush.

 

[Daddy The Pimp]

When you get rejected more than a few times in the same social setting.... won't people start noticing or atleast start talking about it if they just saw u talking to them, then 5 minutes later talking to another set and another 15 minutes later see you with another set.

Can this work against you in small social settings like a bar.

it usually shouldn't matter but if the approach goes sour and bad on a couple of these sets instead of leaving on a good note i think this could backfire.

clubs are bigger so that is not likely to happen and also more people are focusing on dancing and drinking than socializing but bars alot of people social and chitchat and sometimes scan the area.

doing the MISS 5 before arriving at the social setting seems like a good idea though. good warm up.

No they wont. They are too busy trying to look good and thinking if anyone is making fun of them or anything. Also , they would love to have your balls. Anyway , even if they laugh at you , you should not give a fvck. You're there to make a progress broh , not to look good and make people like you.

Im hurrying to go out now , but later ill write something more about this.

 

[DonJoseCantosie]

San Jose California....how in the world do girls view a guy going to the bar by himself the opposite of having balls? From what i heard from women...it takes confidence to do that and courage. Why would they think ur a loser going by yourself? Now if u act like a loser by yourself, then u will be...but if ur not a loser, then why would they think so? Sure a few women have prolly said it, but those ones didn't even matter and weren't even that special looks wise.

Its with sitting in a college cafeteria by yourself, i originally thought people would look at me like a loser(Chump Days), but girls gave IOIs instead. I didn't understand why at the time. Once i gained more skill, i then realized, its because it takes balls and confidence to sit by yourself especially if they notice ur looking at them confidentally.

 

[hope7]

I went to this one bar quite a few times solo, to watch the UFC for 10$ instead of 40$. During these nights, there are TONS of other loners, who are there for the exact same reason I am. It gets packed, so EVERY time I'm there, I usually end up next to someone and we talk about random stuff. One day out of luck, I ended up next to a cute girl and we ended up going on a few dates on.

 

[DonJoseCantosie]

^Good comparison even though it's a little different. TONS of people (guys and girls) sat by themselves at the cafeteria I went to. I bet the girls who do that have a lot of confidence because it's rare that I see a girl eating there by herself.

I just think girls in general don't view a guy who goes to the bar by himself as a confident person, even though that's the way it should be. They probably don't think "he's confident so I should go talk to him" or else chicks would be approaching Zircon during the time he was there.

The thing is, most girls don't even care. They're more concerned with how they're thought of than a random guy who's by himself at a bar. And don't forget, most girls are afraid to actually go up to a guy they like/aren't conditioned to. Some do, but many don't...even if they're attracted.

 

[Poonani Maker]

This is a good thread. I think I might go out tonight as a result of it.

 

[Zircon916]

Take a look at my other thread. I migth be hittin up the bar alone again tonight.

So in an attempt to get something a bit more useful out of the visit this time, I have a few questions I never really got cleared up.

So how do you change your plan with a empty bar vs a crowded bar? It seems like an empty bar is a lot better to work with since you can actually have a bar seat and you can chit chat with the bartender easier. Plus in an empty bar there will be less groups of people and you are likely to find more people sitting alone or with only 2 people. How exactly does the gameplan change when the bar is crowded like I experienced the other night? Is it beneficial to stand around drinking a few beers by yourself? If so, how long do I do this for and what is the plan afterwards?

 

[TurboLover]

Great stuff here.

I went to a club years ago by myself, never felt comfortable and made it an early night.

But I like the advice on letting things settle in to get my bearings then approach and have conversations.

Will have to do this soon on a weekday.

 

[Killer_Demo]

i've done it twice goin by myself and both times i've had a blast...just gotta not fidget and look natural...just put off a cool vibe and i gurantee u someone gonna strike up a convo...

 

[kody_starr]

Right on, man. Your first step is not to get a drink, but to be social before you even enter the bar or club. Chat up the people, guys or gals, immediately before you or behind you in line. If there's no line, be cool with the doorman or bouncer before you enter. They put up with a lot of crap from drunk, belligerent people all night, so when they deal with a cool, sober person you'll stand out.

Once you enter, talk to the very first person you see inside, to the left, or to the right, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter who. See how far you can take it. If they are cool guys, you've got some wings or a home base. If they are girls, you've automatically got some social proof.

That may be the only "set" you need right there. If you want to move on, look for people or groups that look friendly and approachable. Use your intuition.

Try it, and report back.

I think I'm going to start going to bars by myself every night to pratice my game without the crutch of being with my friends. I don't really have any idea how this works or what I'm suppose to do when I get there. I plan on going during the weekday so it shouldn't be too crowded, as in I should be able to sit at the bar and order a drink right away so I can't BS like I'm sitting waiting for my beer.

So after I sit down at the bar and start drinking my beer, what the hell am I suppose to do? How do I not look creepy sitting by myself drinking while watching tv or whatever? I would think the obvious thing to do would be to start some random conversation with the bartender but I'd figure thats risky since if the bartender gets busy and can't really chit chat I'd be screwed.

So how do you guys work the bars solo? Really need some advice since I plan on either starting today or at the latest tomorrow.

 

[daygameguy]

Update!!


Ok, I'm suprised I had the courage to actually go through with this but I went and let me tell you it didn't feel anywhere as weird as I thought it would feel. I actually felt alright being at the bar by myself. However...

I really do think I need a complete change in strategy for me to actually get anything useful out of my new venture. First of all, the bar was fvcking packed. It didn't look that much different from a saturday night. Needless to say all the bartenders were ping ponging around the bar the whole time so actually starting up a conversation with them was impossible. As soon as I walked in the bar I knew I was going to be flying this completely solo.

Some first time observations about the bar scene from the perspective of someone who isn't with their friends. For one, EVERYBODY ELSE IS with their friends. I never realized how much people go to bars in packs until i was not in one myself. When I hit up the bars on the weekends I usually roll with about 10-15 people, and it looks like so does everybody else! As I was sitting at the bar drinking my beer just observing, I seriously didn't really see a group of people less than 6. In fact most are 10+ deep huddled within their own groups. I sat there and realized as long as I have been going to bars (years), I have never had some random dude approach our group and start talking to us. I see why.

Anyway I need to rethink my strategy. My goal is to pick up women, or at least talk to women to pratice my conversation skills, and that definately aint happening in that kind of environment. The bars could be packed on a tuesday because its the holidays, who knows, but I think the first thing I need to do is start going way earlier, maybe around 8 or 9, what do you guys think?

Also, I was thinking about picking up a few "bar skills" to kill time and to look busy instead of just sitting at the bar watching TV or whatever. Maybe learn how to play darts or something? Or start only going to bars with pool tables? Can you guys think of anything else that would help me out?

lol.. EXACTLY my thoughts when I tried it.

It doesn't just take guts to go to a bar alone, but a lot of freaking energy to talk loud and keep speaking set after set! Day game is absolute heaven compared to night game. (unless you got your friends/some girls for social proof)

 

[DonutMan]

I would try going to a bar with some inherently social activities...other than chatting. ie. pool, beerpong, flip cup, darts,...find a girl or group of girls and ask them to play with you, whilst you chat them up.

 

[snowdog]

Lots of good advice in this thread. Thanks!

 

[snowdog]

I tried it tonight. I had like half an hour because I had to be somewhere. The bar I walked in was empty, lol. It was a little awkward because there was no one to talk to, and it was just really obvious that I was on my own. I drank my beer and took off, hehe. I'll give it a good, serious shot sometime soon though. I'm done with school for the year anyway (wohoo).

 

[Peterpack]

When i go travelling, i always go clubbing alone. DO very well, foreign accent, all relaxed, works a treat

I agree the key is to approach any set you see just to get some social proof then go from there

 

[snowdog]

When i go travelling, i always go clubbing alone. DO very well, foreign accent, all relaxed, works a treat

I can imagine that. Being in a different place would probably make anyone more relaxed, because there is no risk of walking into someone you know. When I'm in a different city, I usually misbehave, lol.

 

[Maximus Rex]

Ask her what her favorite Michael Jackson song is. Proceed as normal.