"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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what do you do when she says the magic words?

tennisfreak

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HEre's a hypothethical situation:
Supposed you've been going out with this chick for like a month, observing all the DJ rules. SO one day she says she 's
in love / really likes /head over heels about you.
Whats the DJ way to respond? Play it cool and don t respond particularly excited?
Or tell her you feel the same way since the FIRST day you met her?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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mellow mel

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Don't tell her that you feel the same way unless you do. It is a mistake to say, "I love you too", just because it seems like the right thing to say. "I love you" is a very serious statement. I'd say something like "I don't want to say that I love you until I am absolutely sure I mean it. I think that my honesty will make you happier than saying words without meaning them right now".

[This message has been edited by mellow mel (edited 11-02-2000).]
 

Joshua_Black

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A while back, someone posted a similar question, refering to when a girl asks, "how come you never say you love me?" The person posting said his favorite response was from a movie and it defnitely fits the bill. Say "Because you know I do."

--I'd like to give credut where credit is due, who posted this originally?

[This message has been edited by Joshua_Black (edited 11-02-2000).]
 

BigBadJon

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The last few relationships I've been in it seems like the girls are telling me this after only knowing them for a week.

I just keep my poker face on and let them wonder for awhile. Telling her your true feelings is a good way to chase her out the front door.
 

Armand

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Originally posted by BigBadJon:
The last few relationships I've been in it seems like the girls are telling me this after only knowing them for a week.

I just keep my poker face on and let them wonder for awhile. Telling her your true feelings is a good way to chase her out the front door.
Testing, testing...

Sounds like you're passing those tests with flying colors man.

------------------
Definition Of Insanity: Doing what you've always done and expecting things to change.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Anti-Dump

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I would just say "That's wonderful" and then kiss her.

If asked how I felt, I would say "Keep going with me and find out". She will be mad but will be DYING to find out!

Never tell a woman how you feel under two months. Now matter even if she says how SHE feels.

Most new relationships break up in eight weeks. You must see if she will be around after the second month.

Remember, you may want to dump her before eight weeks. You can't say 'I love you'. Then break up with her when you discover something you don't want.

Wait and be sure.

AD
 

Solitude

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Yep, made the mistake of telling her the same three words, even though there was doubt.

(Made all the other pre-DJ mistakes as well, but they are stories for other times!)

But I *do* think it's important that, if you DO love the lady, then you tell her. Just not very often. As always, less is more.
 

WillieSacks

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Don't worry about it
Originally posted by Solitude:
Yep, made the mistake of telling her the same three words, even though there was doubt.

(Made all the other pre-DJ mistakes as well, but they are stories for other times!)

But I *do* think it's important that, if you DO love the lady, then you tell her. Just not very often. As always, less is more.

Say me too, or I love me too, or I do too.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

dastal

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"And I love your Hair"

I know the post is 3 years old, but I had to say it.
 

lebRambo

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Originally posted by Solitude
Yep, made the mistake of telling her the same three words, even though there was doubt.

(Made all the other pre-DJ mistakes as well, but they are stories for other times!)

But I *do* think it's important that, if you DO love the lady, then you tell her. Just not very often. As always, less is more.
hey solitude, where in canberra are you from? i'm from tuggeranong.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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doctor

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My response is generally 'I love me too.' You'll get hit for it ;)

If she pushes you bust on her for it.

Then one day if you decide you mean it and tell her you love her it'll have a HUGE effect.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

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