What do you do when pursuing a relationship?

[Dannyrt34]

Well guys, after meeting tons of women, I finally found one that I actually have chemistry with. She seems like a good, quality girl. She's hot too. Anyway, I wouldn't mind pursuing a relationship with this particular girl, but I don't really know where to start.

Has anybody ever heard of 'overplaying' a girl? This happens when a guy tries to play the whole 'hard to get' thing a bit too much, where the girl just gives up on you. I have a horrible tendency to do this, even when I AM really interested, I don't give enough to get anything in return. My friends tell me that's not the way to go, and that when you're pursuing a relationship, you do have to find the right balance as in, showing interest, but making sure you don't show too much, which lowers your value in her eyes. They tell me I need to call her more often, I usually talk to her twice a week, maybe hangout with her once a week. They say that it's still not enough, and basically they say, I have her on a rollercoaster ride that, there's only like 1 big exciting drop every three days. Which isn't quite enough, to keep her wanting me.

I have a hard time finding the right balance between 'showing too much interest' or 'not enough'. Keep in mind that, I always am very flirty when I do talk to her, so I do show interest when I do talk to her. But my friends say that I'm really not just giving her enough of my time if I really want a relationship.

Do any of you think my friends are right? Or am I going about this all wrong, and overplaying a girl that I would like to pursue a relationship with?

I'd really appreciate any advice, and tips on what exactly I should be doing.

 

[DarkChaos]

Story of my life.

 

[Sean O]

Well, with relationships, the hardcore DJing comes early when you're trying to "hook" her. Once you've done that, you should slowly start to open up more and be more like a boyfriend than like a date.

 

[amoka]

...what exactly I should be doing.

At your age, I will consider banging other chicks rather than concentrating on one single soul. Have more experience with other chicks, dude.

 

[flexion_]

You need to try a push-pull thing then. Being all disinterested is never going to work.

Try actually being interested one day and then be your normal disinterested self the next day. That will help transition you...

 

[tmpgstx]

Maker her call you next by not calling her. Your friends are wrong.

 

[trajhenkhet02]

After a few bad relationships I no longer believed an LTR existed. After trying to improve myself in a few areas I began to attract some ladies. I ran into a lady whom I formed an LTR with. It never started that way though. I guess I'm trying to point out that in my experience its hard if not impossible to look manly if your trying to pursue a relationship with a lady. Ladies usually set the tempo for how these things go which can be somewhat influenced by how you treat them. Maybe there are ways for guys to do such things but I haven't seen it.

 

[Serialized3]

Just do what feels right man. If you care about her, don't go around playing games with her. I've found that the smarter girls are the ones that I'm attracted to as GF material, and that a lot of smart girls can tell when you're just playing with their emotions.

For instance, would you want to be in a relationship with a girl that played power games with you? Refused to show you attention and made you work hard to be with her? I sure wouldn't and on a moral level, I don't think you SHOULD if you respect her enough to want a relationship with her.

 

[stacy2211]

Being a challenge

After a month, if you continue to see a woman only once a week, she will get tired and assume you are not interested in a RL and/or seeing other people. While this may be a "challenge," at some point a woman with true interest will wonder what the point is in seeing you if you are not spending enough time with her to truly get to know her. Relationships at some point need to grow.
You can still be a challenge though, don't always tell her when you will call, don't see her on the same days every week (up it to maybe two or three days a week but leave a weekend day for yourself, etc...)