"What do you do?" Responses

[Dreesy]

I'm getting very bored of people asking me what I do for a living within the first 2 minutes of talking to them. It's like people don't know how to converse about anything besides work, and they want to get to know how 'valuable' you are right away. The only problem I have with this is that value should come from what you actively do in the moment, and how you behave, not what you SAY you do.

When people move conversations down 'that road', what do you guys do to steer them off of it? I'm sure none of you want to talk about weekday garbage while you're out at night trying to have a good time meeting ladies.

So, let's hear 'em! I need some ideas here, I can only tell people I repair disposable lighters for so long.

 

[BeDJ]

My go-to line:

'Fat chicks'

 

[Victory Unlimited]

Your question is an old one that was answered with quick wit---many years ago by the standup comedian Rodney Dangerfield.


A heckler from the audience: "Hey Rodney, what do you do for a living???"

Rodney Dangerfield: "I get guys for your sister!"


You can check him out for yourself on this You Tube clip somewhere around the 4:20 mark :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9MzaCtVx_5M


The GREAT full-time comedian, and apparently "part-time PIMP", RODNEY DANGERFIELD. (May he Rest in Peace)

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Dreezy,
I tell them,I work on the garbage collection truck,$20 an hour and all you can eat,jobs don't come better than that...If it has come to identifying yourself around the job you do,it's a pretty poor World,whose Darned business is it anyhow?

 

[lifeislearning]

"I'm a stripper"

And then talk about whatever the hell you want to. Talking with a woman is like talking with a 4 year old. You can change the subject to anything you want as long as it's interesting

 

[JBB84]

A brief description and then I turn the question on them.

 

[speed dawg]

I'm getting very bored of people asking me what I do for a living within the first 2 minutes of talking to them. It's like people don't know how to converse about anything besides work, and they want to get to know how 'valuable' you are right away. The only problem I have with this is that value should come from what you actively do in the moment, and how you behave, not what you SAY you do.

When people move conversations down 'that road', what do you guys do to steer them off of it? I'm sure none of you want to talk about weekday garbage while you're out at night trying to have a good time meeting ladies.

So, let's hear 'em! I need some ideas here, I can only tell people I repair disposable lighters for so long.

I work at the Chevron down the street. Next question.

 

[The Duke]

I love it when they ask me what I do. Its a great opportunity to throw something funny into the convo. I've told them I'm a "male stripper" many times and that always works well. If you are in good shape they will believe it every time. Start dancing for them and suggest they tip you!

When I'm at a strip club I tell them I'm a plastic surgeon. They all want to be your friend then. But you better know what you are talking about because they will ask detailed questions.

I've also told girls I was a belly button model, a hand model, a sock model, etc, as well as an astronaut. Always get a good laugh out of these and then I go into some funny story. Yep its like talking to a 4yr old as somebody else said.

 

[PlayHer Man]

Waste management.

OR

Pilot.

Both help you spin plates better and provide good reasons why you are "out of town".

 

[bluenorther]

I was at a party with my cougar, and I got asked that. It was at her ex-husband's home and he wanted to bring together all the people who were important to him after an illness. He was a physics professor at UC and other guests were economists and engineers. I told them I worked at the bicycle shop in town... they went wild! Actually, it was a high-class shop, and well known to locals. It was a switch from where I met her-- we both worked at a company that built high tech lab systems.
Today I work at the riding stables, shoeing horses for 50-something ladies. THAT gets people going, too. Pretty cool, huh? I've fncked a few of them, btw... not a bad perk.

 

[Crissco]

I say im a model. An ass model

 

[SteR]

I make a joke.

Her: What do you do?

Me: (smiling) I'm a shepherd.

Can't take credit for that, got it from "Fletch." But it takes the conversation to a different place, that's for sure.

Haha, that's pretty good..

 

[zekko]

I always liked that shepherd line from Fletch. Not sure why.

I don't like being asked this question. Seems like every time I get my haircut by someone new, it's the first thing they ask. Thing is, I absolutely hate talking about work. I figure I spend enough of my life there, I don't need to be thinking about it when I'm off. I usually just tell them and then quickly change the subject. I don't know why PUAs are so dead set against ever giving a straight answer to a question, lol. Builds mystery, I guess?

 

[The_411]

Club Patron: So, what do you do?

Patrick Bateman: I'm into, uh, well, murders and executions, mostly.

Club Patron: Do you like it?

Patrick Bateman: Well, it depends. Why?

Club Patron: Well, most guys I know who are in Mergers and Acquisitions really don't like it.

 

[Mike32ct]

I always liked that shepherd line from Fletch. Not sure why.

I don't like being asked this question. Seems like every time I get my haircut by someone new, it's the first thing they ask. Thing is, I absolutely hate talking about work. I figure I spend enough of my life there, I don't need to be thinking about it when I'm off. I usually just tell them and then quickly change the subject. I don't know why PUAs are so dead set against ever giving a straight answer to a question, lol. Builds mystery, I guess?

^This. I also hate talking about work. I like my job, but it's what I do, not my life. In general, I don't like answering questions about myself (in real life). Maybe it's an introvert thing.

Just say "I'm involved with xyz (field)."

You aren't lying or playing c&f games, but you also aren't giving her the one thing she is REALLY fishing for: your job TITLE. (She wants your title so she can go online or use her own judgement to estimate your salary.)

 

[Vekhematu]

Generally speaking, they don't care about conversation, only opportunities to diagnose and manipulate you. I usually challenge these kinds of women. Meeting my expectations is the most important thing, if she isn't doing that I'll confront any unwanted behavior. Placating them only gets you more of the same later on. Besides, you have to give her hoops to jump through so you can reward her with your approval. You have to give her something else to ask about though, or she won't ask anything, meaning no connection to anything besides what you brag about.

So in your case you say, "The only problem I have with this is that value should come from what you actively do in the moment, and how you behave, not what you SAY you do. Instead, ask what I'm passionate about."

Why not? Changing the conversation like that lets you list all the things that you like, you could even list your favorite restaurant as a passion. Do it convincingly. Give her plenty to ask about if she's interested. Ask her the same question. Chances are she isn't passionate about a single concrete thing, but you can still ask her questions about whatever she says she is passionate about... family, friends, etc.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Usually when somebody asks about your job within a few minutes of meeting you, it can mean a few different things.

1) They're interested in talking to you but have poor conversation skills

2) They're just being polite and want to talk about "standard" stuff

3) They're a woman on the hunt and they are screening you

4) They're douchebags addicted to social status and want to make sure you know they're "better" than you

The only person to treat with kindness is (1). Be kind, and be aware you've got to carry the ball. No biggie. The more experienced you get, the more people you'll meet like this.

Everybody else can be played with.

Stripper
Underwear model
Assassin
Stand-In for crime scene re-enactments
NSA analyst
Porn cameraman
Porn movie script writer
shoelace engineer

Or you could take inspiration from Kramer (from Seinfeld) and say "I'm not really sure, one day I walked into this building to use the toilet, and they thought I worked there, and they've been paying me ever since. Still don't know what they make."

 

[CaptainAmerica1]

First time she asks: male stripper, smile, move on. Second time: brief description, move on. Ambition and enthusiasm.

 

[SecondHalf]

Watched an old french player once at some art function get asked that question.
He looked the woman in the eye and said wh0r3 trafficking.

Took women down a notch, made her laugh, and set the bar low with two words. She was putty in his hand after that.

Might not work in a bar though.

SH

 

[synergy1]

Usually some BS job at first but tell it in a convincing enough fashion that sometimes they buy it. I am at the point where I only need a few sentences of conversation to convey that I am not a dumbass and that is usually sufficient. What I do sounds much more impressive than it actually is so I hate talking about it.

Some examples from memory - Amateur knife fighter at bible camp, used lighter repair man, petroleum dispensing engineer, pro athlete ( this one worked great actually). All the others were just for laughs.