"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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What do y’all think of Muslim chicks?

ImTheDoubleGreatest!

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Some of them are straight up repressed and so they’re ****ed up in the head, but that’s to be expected in every religion I suppose. This semester at uni, there’s been a lot more of these girls around. And not just the standard ones who wear the scarf and whatnot, there’s those ninja chicks who cover their face too (albeit rare). But there’s actually a lot who wear the long robes and stuff. I find it kinda cute tbh. But that’s besides the point.

I was wondering, are these girls the same *****s as the rest of women? Or are they actually decent human beings?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Spaz

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In the end, all women enjoy spreading their legs to be fvcked hard, regardless of their race or creed.

That's all you need to know.

The rest is just background noise.
 

MillionBillionaire

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I know this Muslim woman that works at a Mediterranean buffet. She has her hair covered, she is reserved.. and she is HOT.

I have a hot blonde girl fetish but I would take this Muslim chick over any barbie any day.
 

RickTheToad

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In the end, all women enjoy spreading their legs to be fvcked hard, regardless of their race or creed.

That's all you need to know.

The rest is just background noise.
The most reserved one's are usually the freaks in the sheets.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

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