"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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what do women fear

joekerr31

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rollo's post got an interesting thread going. i didnt want to disrupt it to much, so figured id start this one.

for men rejection is a huge fear.

but what are the fears that women have? not just the little ones, like farting or something. but the big ones.

do you think their fears are hte same as mens fears? or different?

thoughts?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Interceptor

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Women fear the following circumstances with men:

Infidelity.
Dishonesty.
Lacking in good parenting skills.
Not performing one's share of the work in the relationship.
Not maintaing appearance.
Abusive verbally and/or physically.
Inflexible.
Lazy, not wanting to stay gainfully employed.
Lacking in compassion and sensitivity.
Secretly hidden unfavorable behaviors.
Non committal.
Inability to make decisions.
Unable to maintain love and affection, and the desired amount of attention over the long term.
Eventually losing one's masculinity in favor of appeasement to the woman. Basically handing your nuts over to her.
Secretly lacking "take charge", leadership traits.
Sexually inexperienced, so the woman will feel uncomfortable heading into a consistent sexual relationship because she may be more experienced, and thus may also want to try kinkier things. She may not want to feel "dirty" or "slutty" by secretly having certain sexual fantasies fulfilled(really, the fear of having her fantasies unfulfilled due to the inexperience of the man), and may find it very hard to be compatible with a man with sex "issues".



I'm sure there's more, but these came to mind.
Interesting question, joekerr.
 

decades

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being a bag lady
 

joekerr31

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are those fears or concerns?

like (many) men FEAR rejection. so much so that they don't approach.

do the things in your list cause a woman to fear dating men?

don't mean to complicate this. that was a great list.

im just wondering if, for women, there is almost a singular fear that is equal to a man's fear of rejection / failure?

the only thing i can think of is fear of losing their looks. or put differently, fear that they are not (or will no longer be) attractive.

another might be fear of not having children.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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decades

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yep. I heard this years ago on some kind of talk radio program.
i wish I was paying more attention. ;-)
 

Interceptor

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joe, my personal observation is that , YES, they have been expressed as Fears.
So I have seen them (the circumstances referred to in the list) as seriously inhibiting women from having anything to do with a man.
 

STR8UP

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A woman's ONLY fear is of being alone.
 

st_99

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STR8UP said:
A woman's ONLY fear is of being alone.
which is why they are SO good at spinning plates. I've never met a single girl that didn't have some sort of connection (friends, flirty, sexual, whatever..) with less than a couple guys.. They are so good at keeping back ups.
 

Interceptor

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STR8UP said:
A woman's ONLY fear is of being alone.

I think truthfully, blanket Universal All Encompassing TRUTHS, are an illusion.
We can only assume.
And I'm positive there is more than just ONE "fear".
If that were true, then Men would only have ONE "Fear".
But we all know it's more involved than that.

I think the BEST thing any one can DO, be it Man or Woman, is let go of irrationla beliefs, and constantly looking for reassuance in NON EXISTANT All Encompassing Beliefs.
Universal Truths that are Man Made are all illusion.

Now, if you want to change your viewpioint to "My perception is...",
or "My Observation is....", then you may be more open to the multitude of possibilities, and lack the fear that comes from looking for ONLY ONE Solution or "answer".
My two...
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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STR8UP

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Mr.Positive said:
I think women's biggest fear is other women.
And why is that? Because other women are competition. And competition has the potential to leave you behind in the mating game. in other words, if the guys like the other girls better, she will be ALONE, and she will try to avoid that at all costs.
 

RedPill

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Passing her expiration date to attract a worthwhile provider for security and reproduction.
 

Mr.Positive

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STR8UP said:
And why is that? Because other women are competition. And competition has the potential to leave you behind in the mating game. in other words, if the guys like the other girls better, she will be ALONE, and she will try to avoid that at all costs.
That's part of it, but also being accepted by other women. The fear of being rejected by "the flock" so to speak, ie the girl that gets picked on by her peers in high school. I don't think women ever really grow out of that.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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STR8UP said:
A woman's ONLY fear is of being alone.
You got it kid - this is just another way of saying "being rejected"!! This is why these hors want children - they have a high probability of being alone!!! All children love their mommy - no matter how big of a hor she is!!

Pimps don't like old women!!! Do you notice?

Nighthawk said:
...getting old and being unattractive.
And the conclusion being....being alone!!
 

joekerr31

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this list so far...

being alone
other women /fear of being rejected by "the flock"
Getting old and being unattractive.
Passing her expiration date to attract a worthwhile provider

is that it?

Rollo / VU, where you guys at.
 

Luthor Rex

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I'm going to have to throw out a big obvious one here that I'm shocked hasn't been mentioned yet. Maybe because there is no real male-equivalent to this one:

the fear of rape

:(
 

Victory Unlimited

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Yo,


I think another thing that women fear is NOT having an identity.

What???

What I mean is:

So many women (all?) tend to think of themselves as not so much individuals but actresses. And this is NOT a slight against women, but merely an observation on just HOW MUCH they allow outside viewpoints (from society at large) to dictate WHO they are.

If you ask most women WHO they are, I believe that MANY (not all) would start describing themselves by the different roles that they play in OTHER people's lives as opposed to the role that they play in their OWN. Examples: "I'm a wife, I'm a daughter, I'm a mother, etc.). Notice how the emphasis is on their RELATIONSHIPS as opposed to their personal impact on the world...

But if you ask most men who THEY are, I believe that MANY (not all) of us would begin to define ourselves by the list of things we do, or have accomplished (i.e. "I'm a doctor, I'm a fireman...or I'm a Heissman Trophy winner, etc."). Notice how the emphasis is on our IMPACT on the world as opposed to our relationships...

Now, I'm not saying these mindsets are right OR wrong. And I'm not saying that the examples I've sited are always the case, either. But I do believe that these cases are MORE valid than not.

I believe that women were created to compliment, support, and to HELP the man to reach HIS potential. And as a byproduct of HIS success, the woman basks in the glow of his success and is also inspired to acheive individual successes of her own.

This is why women are named AFTER men. Woman quite literally means "man with a womb." While Female quite literally means "man that carries a FEtus". And just like in the world today, when a woman TAKES her husband's name, she becomes recognized, validated, and "IDENTIFIED" as someone of worth and substance by society at large.

This is why I say that on a larger scale, women probably fear NEVER actually having an identity-----they may fear going through life without ever having been INDENTIFIED as "someone" due to some inability to hook themselves up to some substantive "enough" type of relationship.

Therefore, to me, women are like MIRRORS that reflect the light that "enlightened" men radiate. So, while many woman may NOT be luminescent in and of themselves...I feel that as CONDUCTERS and REFLECTORS of light, they are in a class all their own.


Peace...one day.
 

ElChoclo

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They fear just about everything. Compared with a man, they live in a state of perpetual anxiety, which makes it easy for politicians to manipulate them. Which is why they weren't originally entitled to vote
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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