"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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What do I say in this situation?

G

GaryNas

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I need a bit of help here. What parts of this phone conversation should I change when I face similar circumstances with other girls:

This is all paraphrased:

HB8: Hello
Me: Hey, it's blah blah
HB8: Hey! I'm on my way to work, stuck in traffic
Me: Oh yeah? Hey listen, let's go get a drink after you get off work tonight.
HB8: I think that will be too late (she works until 11).
Me: You think? I'm fine with it.
HB8: Yeah, it's pretty late
<small talk for about a minute about school>
Me: So what do you say? You owe me a drink anyway.
HB8: <laughing> For what? (She paid last time)
Me: I'm not sure, but trust me. So you think it's too late?
HB8: Yeah, but I'll call you.
Me: Alright, I'll talk to you later then.

Quick Background: The last time we went out (when she paid for drinks) was to "study". Since then she dropped the class so it was clear to her that I was simply asking her out. I've only known her for about a month too.

I'm not sure if I'll hear from her again, but that's not the issue here... What mistakes were made? Two things I think I did right were *tell* her that we're going out and not ask. Secondly I told her that she could buy me a drink, even though she bought last time... I didn't put her on a pedistal.

How can I improve this type of conversation with future ladies? What should I say after the "I'll call you" line?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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S

ScrewIt

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it was ok, but u couldve done better

always ask once, if they give you a no, just be cool with it
dont ask a second time, it'll be like nagging, if they dont want to then they dont want to.

well you could say "im going to the bar in a bit, u wanna join me?"
whether or not she goes w/u , you still go to the bar.
but i'm not sure if this really works better compared to the "lets go to the bar"
 
G

GaryNas

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Sorry guys, I'm not usually a bumper, but, *bump*.
 
D

diablo

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Originally posted by GaryNas

HB8: Hello
Me: Hey, it's blah blah
HB8: Hey! I'm on my way to work, stuck in traffic
Me: Sucks to be you... Hey listen, I'm going out tonight, want to come get a drink with me.
HB8: I think that will be too late (she works until 11).
Me: Wow, I had an 11pm curfew when I was 15.
HB8: Yeah, it's pretty late
<small talk for about a minute about school>
Me: You owe me a drink anyway, it's about time you get me back.
HB8: <laughing> For what? (She paid last time)
Me: I'm not sure, but trust me. I'll see you around 12.
HB8: Yeah, but I'll call you.
Me: Alright, I'll talk to you later then.
Click to expand...
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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V

vectorz

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I would've stopped saying "You think?". When she said "It's kinda late" or whatever, that's obvious no intent of interest on her part. You *might* have been able to spark something by being funny. Saying something like, "you have a curfew? I see, I guess it's for the better anyhow since I only date grown women.".

But it does seem like a no go from the get go. Sorry
 
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