What do I get her for Christmas?[Merged thread]

[thezenmachine]

This is a good post, I have a girl I've been on 3 dates with and she has suggested that we exchange Christmas presents. She also said she didn't want to tell me what she wanted because she wanted to see what I would get her with out knowing, which does make it more exciting...

So, lets make a list of good gift ideas, esp. with some past experiences listed and responses you have had with them.

 

[uniassign]

My rule of thumb is that I only buy a present for the girl (whether it be for her birthday, Christmas, Easter or whatever) after I have slept with her at least 10 times.

Having said that, my first gift to her is ALWAYS a sexual one like vibrators, hand-cuffs, or anything that reminds her of me in a sexual way.

This year I got one of my chicks pole dancing lessons from:

http://www.polestars.com.au/

The other chick, I got her this:

http://shop.adultshop.com.au/product/1159910004.html

 

[DharmaBear]

Great advice, everyone. Thanks. I'll definitely do a mental review of the things she's told me, things she often buys, and then purchase something simple and relatively inexpensive. This will NOT include flowers of any type, jewelry, stuffed animals, or anything gay or AFC-esque.


-Dharma

 

[DeathDealer]

Re: X-mas Gift For New Girl

Originally posted by DharmaBear
Any suggestions for a X-mas gift or type of gift for a new gal I'm DJ'ing, but am not serious with yet? We've know each other for a year, but just recently I've been laying the mack down and taking her out.


-Dharma

Hold up. You've known her for a year and you're DJing her? Stop using the word DJing and say something along the lines of "Courting" No one courts for an entire year you AFC!

 

[DharmaBear]

I haven't been "courting" or "DJing" or much of anything with her for most of the last year. She's just a friend of a friend that I didn't see all that often. So, I barely knew her. I first met her in January, at the height of my AFC-ness.

When she came to a post-Thanksgiving party my friend threw last month, I rapped with her for a little bit and we ended up exchanging numbers. No, I'm not an AFC, but I am a RAFC (at least since I've been visiting this site - due to a bad case of oneitis I developed over a girl I work with [different story altogether]). I've been using some of my new-found skills on this girl and they seem to be working. I just want to make sure my X-mas gift isn't too AFC and, therefore, I end up blowing it (wouldn't you agree that it might be easy to fall into the AFC pit with a X-mas gift?).

-Dharma

 

[crotchrocket]

Dharmabear; CAUTION ! - It's VERY easy to fall into AFCness with gift giving, it's inherent to it at anytime of the year or occasion.

A couple of obvious rules to abide by;

#1 The VALUE of the gift must be appropriate for the level of the relationship (ex. if you've only dated a few times then keep it very inexpensive-my rule of thumb, the cost of a regular date night) Best to be on the cheap side of appropriate-you never want it to look like you're 'buying' her devotion.
#2 The THEME must be appropriate to the level of intimacy of the relationship (ex. if you've only dated a few times, then keep the gift casual and not too personal, bath and beauty items in this case-would be pushing it)
#3 The best gift givers know that it MUST be something that has meaning to you and the girl, in the context of your relationship (you've been somewhere together or share a common interest in, bonus points for actually listening and remembering something she mentioned weeks or months ago) The girl I'm dating shares my love of skiing and a certain kind of car-her gift will definitely have something to do with one of these things!
#4 The note, the wrapping-everything about it, MUST be appropriately CLASSY and appropriately feminine (ex. a brown paper bag with her name scribbled on the side-is NOT classy, but going too far the other way is wrong as well, -you want it classy but you don't want it to look like you spent a whole day wrapping it! Don't go overboard on the bows and ribbons and fruit-cake/frilly wrapping paper-remember you're a guy!
#5 The act of GIVING it to her, remember-you're pleasure comes solely from GIVING IT TO HER and you're life doesn't depend on her response to it, or her gift or lack thereof a gift back to you!

A DJ is defined more by HOW he does the things he does than by WHAT he does!

 

[DharmaBear]

Thanks, Crotchrocket. Very sage advice.

I just got back from the store. I bought her a dream journal for $12.95. I told her once I had a dream about her. No, this was not an AFC move. I simply told her she was in my dream the night before, and then withheld the details. It drove her crazy all day to know what happened in the dream, so when I did finally tell her it was awesome (it wasn't particuarly sexual, but a little...). She loved the attention (of course) and the fact that she's on my mind. By the way, this was a one-time deal; I didn't bring it up again after that day, cuz that WOULD be AFC, in my opinion.

Anyhow, after this she kept saying how she needs to get me a dream book to put on my nightstand to write down all my dreams about her when I wake up in the morning. I just sort of laughed that idea off (dude, now THAT would be weak - and is not my style anyhow), but she did make a big point about how she loves to analyze and remember her own dreams, but she never gets around to writing them down. So. I think this will fit the bill. We haven't talked about it in awhile, so I'm sure she'll be impressed I remembered this detail about her form conversation.

What do you guys think? Appropriate? Too AFC? Should I get something else to go with it?

-Dharma

 

[Cloudtopsun2100]

how about tickets to a dallas cowboys game? i wanna go see them play and thought she'd like to have the experience of seeing an NFL game( we have brought it up a couple of times)..what do you guys think? kinda expensive but half the price of the gift goes to me

 

[Ricky]

Finally a decent christmas gift thread!

 

[Bonhomme]

Gifts -- 'tis the season

OK. Two things: it's the holidays, and some of you are in good LTRs and others have some steady dates.

One of the worst chump tendencies is to try to "buy" someone's affection with gifts. The flip side is the knee-jerk reaction of many Don Juannabes not to buy gifts at all. And an overly adversarial approach to dating, in general, which is a knee-kerk reaction to having sucked up to gals for too long.

So here's Bonhomme's philosophy on giving gifts:

Gifts are just that. Gifts. Something you want to give somebody because you feel they deserve it and you want them to feel good. Gifts are not something you give somebody to try to impress them and make them like you more.

Giving gifts does not make one a chump. But giving gifts with the expectation of something in return does.

If you ever regret giving a gift, you've obviously given it insincerely and/or for the wrong reason.

Happy holidays.

 

[zerocelcius]

Too true~~!!!

 

[Ricky]

Very well put Bonhomme.

Christmas time is kind of different from the normal times of the year too. I think you run the risk of more trouble from not giving a gift than giving one.

But it doesn't have to be fancy. And if a girl gives you grief about not getting her enough then you know you have a good old fashioned gold digger on your hands. Good to find that out.

 

[dearsappho]

buy her a sponge or something similar and when wrapped attach a note with the words "think of me"

 

[Climax]

Originally posted by dearsappho
buy her a sponge or something similar and when wrapped attach a note with the words "think of me"

I did this once, and till this day we still joke about it, even though we arent together anymore.

She once comes up to me and sais to me " I think about u every day and i cant help it " so i say " Well, umm... u know i got a new chick now" etc and i start trying to make her feel "better only for her to answer " Well sorry for taking a bath every day, and unlike some people i love using a sponge"

har har har!

 

[Bonhomme]

Crotchrocket's points are right on

The best gifts are relatively inexpensive gifts that really hit home for the person you're giving them to.

One time I was dating a gal that drank a certan kind of wine, and collected the corks, which had a series of pictures on them. She was new to the area, and could not find that wine anywhere. I found it, gave her a bottle as a total surprise, and she was nuts about it. The bottle of wine must have cost less than $10 US, but was appreciated as much as anything I could have got her.

 

[Climax]

Bonhomme: ya... i agree, thats why i said that when getting a present for a chick u need to get something that is special to HER, no matter if its expensive or cheap

 

[Desdinova]

Another good rule of thumb to keep in mind, especially if you're dating a new woman is to pay attention to what she's doing for you for Christmas. If she's mentioned that she's getting you something, then you have a right to buy her a Christmas gift that costs over $10.00. If she's mentioned nothing, get her a card and a chocolate bar.

 

[Climax]

Originally posted by Desdinova
Another good rule of thumb to keep in mind, especially if you're dating a new woman is to pay attention to what she's doing for you for Christmas. If she's mentioned that she's getting you something, then you have a right to buy her a Christmas gift that costs over $10.00. If she's mentioned nothing, get her a card and a chocolate bar.

I dont agree with you on this 1...

A relationship is not a game that u say " if she gets me something nice then i'll get her something nice".. thats childish.... U should get her what YOU think she deserves, and what u WANT to get her, reguardless of what she is getting you.

 

[mecca411]

Help!!! What do I get her for Christmas?! Ladies or Gents... any good ideas?

I've been dating this girl long-distance for the past 4 months (met her 5 months ago). She's 25, a teacher, lives with her parents, looking to buy a house in the next 6 months or so. She invited me to her grad at about the 2 month mark. At that time, I bought her flowers and a nice bracelet for about $100 total. Christmas is only a few days away and I still have a ****load of shopping to do.

I'll be spending Christmas evening at her place with her and her family. I'm completely stumped as to what would make a nice present. And how much should I spend? It'd help me out a ton if people could list what has worked for them in the past at the 4 month mark or at Christmas time. I have a few ideas, but I really need help on this one. Thanks.

M.

 

[Desdinova]

Since you two sound like you're in a LTR, you can spend more than $10 on her. Actually, it's not the value of the gift that counts, it's how much she'll value it. Spend maybe $50 on her. If you have an idea of what she's buying you, use that as a guide on how much to spend.

She invited me to her grad at about the 2 month mark. At that time, I bought her flowers and a nice bracelet for about $100 total.

Personally, I think you spent too much on her especially after only 2 months.