What do I do with this situation?

[changing]

This is my first post so please bear with me. Alright this is probably going to be a long story, and will probably be ripped to shreds by you guys, but I just need to get it out. Perhaps it'll make more sense to me after it's been explained in print.

So for the last 6-7 months, I've known this one girl who I met in a class of mine. I thought she was cute and whatnot but never really considered her any more than a friend. About a month and a half ago she texts me and complains about being sad, and pissed off. I ask about what, and she says she "broke up with her BF." Not really wanting to be her emotional tampon, I kind of just blew it off. Next day she texts me again asking if I want to go out. I agree, and we go out "as friends," figured I'd show her a good time and get her mind off things. She starts being a little flirty with me, first time she's ever shown any IOI's, I don't think much of it. But the next time I see her (a few days later), I try to see how much I can push this "flirting," mainly by using kino, and negs. She didn't seem to show any signs of pushing me away, so I continued. Long story short, I've been seeing her a decent amount the past few weeks, but never officially going out on "dates" just hanging out, and having her tutor me for one of my classes. Throughout this time, I've tried to escalate the flirting with more and more kino, and giving "mixed" signals of interest, etc. The last time I saw her was about a week ago, when I finally got up the courage to tell her I was going to take her out on an actual "Date." I felt that I should just make a move and give her the idea that I was interested in something more than just friends, without bluntly saying “I like you.” Just pretty much asked her what she was doing a certain day and she said "not sure" so I said "good, you're coming out on a date with me." She didn't seem turned off by the comment, but then again she didn't say "yes" either. As I dropped her off at her place that same night, as she left, I told her I'll see her on the day of the date. She responded with "maybe..." and kind of smiled and walked away. I figured alright, maybe sounds close enough to being a yes, especially with the joking smile that came afterward.

Anyway, day before the date comes; I try to give her a call. Weird thing is, I get a message saying that her number is disconnected / changed. I call again, same thing. Since that day I haven't seen her online either, nor have had any contact with her since. I sent an email, asking what was up, but still no response on that either. I'm just kind of confused about what happened. I mean, normal people dont just cut off all contact with someone just cause they asked them to go on a date, right? Especially if they've been friends for a decent amount of time. If that’s the case, I'm probably better off without her anyway, but just the fact of not knowing has been bothering me. Having no control or idea of the situation, has been driving me crazy, and I don’t really know what I should do. I am worried that something may have happened, but I have no way of finding out, or at least no normal way without being all "stalker" like, which I refuse to do. I know most of you will probably just tell me to forget about her and move on. Which I'm trying to do right now, but as I said before, she is a friend, and I feel I deserve some sort of explanation. If you have any comments or advice about my situation, I'd greatly appreciate it. I apologize for the long rant, but hoping that by posting her I could get some helpful advice.

 

[Cinamon]

Her behaviour is inexcusable, she should have told you that she didnt want to go on the date, if not then in person then later over the phone. It could be that its too soon for her to start dating after her previous relationship, or they are getting back together, but the least she owes you is an explanation. Anyone that treats you like that isnt worth the trouble.

 

[WhitePimp]

Yeah man, this sh!t happens, too frequently it seems. Best advice I can give is to not worry about it. Seriously. Don't make up excuses for her, don't create scenarios which may or may not have happened. Just tell yourself that you made a move and it didn't work out and it's time to move on. Girls can drop you like that, no matter how good a "friend" you were, so to save yourself unnecessary grief, just forget about her and move on.

 

[playerone]

Nothing terrible has happened to her. She just decided not to see you again. Most likely, i would say she got back with her boyfriend. Btw, you were being a little too over-confident by telling her she's going on a date with you. She may want to flake on you to test your inner game, and see if you're for real.

Also, don't tell the girl you're going on a date with her. Always be informal. That gets the both of you in a relaxed state of mind when you're hanging out. Good things will happen from there.

What you can do now is carry on with your life and talk to other females around you. Maybe she'll hit you back up someday.

 

[changing]

Thank you for the advice so far. What you guys have said makes a lot of sense, and I feel a bit better about the situation. I am still bothered about how things turned out, but these things are beyond my control, and I know nothing I do can really change what happened. I tried, and it didn't work out, time to move on.
One side thing, I'm enrolled in 2 of the same classes with her next semester (if she hasn't changed her schedule), what do I say or how should I act when/if I see her? I don't want to go around changing my schedule, just to avoid her, she's not worth it, and it's not my problem it's hers. But do I just act like nothing happened, or do I tell her I don't apprecitate being blown off and avoided? It's not like I personally did something so drastic to justify her recent actions. Any more comments or advice? and thanks again.

 

[Igetit!]

One side thing, I'm enrolled in 2 of the same classes with her next semester (if she hasn't changed her schedule), what do I say or how should I act when/if I see her?

Speak to the the same way you'd speak to a friend of yours who you haven't seen in a while. Say hi,ask her what's up,what's she's been up to,how her summer went,tell her how yours went,then go on about your business. Be "nice and polite",you know,the same way a cashier is to you when you walk into a store. They acknowledge you,but there's no sexual interest,no feeling or emotion there.

Just simple courtesy.

She'll "feel" the lost of interest you once displayed in her.

Don't go out of your way to talk to her,but if you find yourself near her,then speak to her. Don't do this everytime you see her,though.


Do it the first day of class,(if you find yourself close to her),then after that,you can maybe say "hi" in passing. Oh,and for pete's sake,DON'T SAY ANYTHING about you two going out,dating,or getting together sometime.

But do I just act like nothing happened, or do I tell her I don't apprecitate being blown off and avoided?

The "I didn't appreciate being blown off/avoided" thing,DON'T DO THAT. Don't even acknowledge it. This is the first day of class,you don't need to be dragging up hard feelings. Let it go. All you'll accomplish by telling her this is letting her know that she got to you,that emotionally,you're more invested in her than the other way around. That's a recipe for disaster.

If a woman thinks she's won you over emotionally,especially when you two haven't even had a single date or spent time together yet,it's game over. What's the point of going out with you if she already has you won over? She's won before the game has even started.

There's no challenge. No challenge=no interest.

Therefore,DON'T SHOW ANY EMOTION,or that is,any emotion related to you two dating. Be the cashier:Acknowledge her presence with no feelings.

Peace man.

 

[WhitePimp]

I think the natural urge is to tell her off and that's probably deep down what she wants but, seriously, fvck that. It'll boost her ego that she had that much control over you and you'll feel like a chump afterwards...telling a girl off satisfies an immediate urge but you always feel dumb later on for letting her get to you like that.

Just be cool, calm, collected (easier said than done but force yourself to do this) and show that you're not bothered in the least bit by what she did. It's long forgotten, you've moved on, you're happy, etc. She'll probably come around again if you do all this and start dropping IOI's, and when that happens, if you still want a chance with her, BE AND STAY IN CONTROL!

EDIT: Yeah, do what Igetit said...

 

[DonGorgon]

You took to long to F her..lol dating is old school most of these young sluts just want some action like we do they only want to go on gates with dudes they are seriously considering for a relationship... If you can get a woman to spend time alone with you in a private place then you should make moves and try to F cause in most cases that is what she wants.. If a girl does not lek you she is not gona be alone with you as you described..

you cant do anything ... she thinks your gay or lame now and it will be hard for you to get another chance without it all being very awkward..