What do I do? (Dating Advice)

[Lochlan]

So I was seeing this girl from work for about 4 months, and everything was going great. Communication was rock solid, we had heavy interest in each other, and each other's bodies. We talked about making things public when the unexpected happened. Her grandfather started to reach the stages of passing. It should be stated that her grandpa was more of her father growing up, than her real father who was a drug-addicted/abusive criminal. Unable to afford home-care, He moved in with her and she became his caretaker. The guy had it rough, showing high dementia, and a tendency to scream out in the night that he wanted to die.

She told me the night before he moved in that she was afraid I'd leave her because she wouldn't have a social life for a time, to which I said I wouldn't. Then things became hard. We would try and talk when we could, but it was months of strain that eventually led to me asking if she needed time away from having a relationship, to which she said "yes" that she only had time for taking care of him. From there I would only text every couple weeks to check in on her. About a month ago her grandfather passed away, and she now will rarely answer my texts, or any of our mutual friends. I see her at work and there is some of the old 'us' when we speak, but with a slight awkwardness now. And again, she doesn't text me anymore. I finally tried to ask about where I still stand and she starts heading for the door, saying "No. We're not talking about this." I replied "Never?" and she said "Maybe later, but not today." in a kinda stressed tone.

It's now been two days since that conversation. My question is what do I do? Not texting her for a while pops into my head, but I'm afraid she'll take that as me forgetting about her, and she'll look somewhere else eventually. Have I ruined it?

Good advice would help y'all ASAP.

 

[Juan Don]

So I was seeing this girl from work for about 4 months, and everything was going great. Communication was rock solid, we had heavy interest in each other, and each other's bodies. We talked about making things public when the unexpected happened. Her grandfather started to reach the stages of passing. It should be stated that her grandpa was more of her father growing up, than her real father who was a drug-addicted/abusive criminal. Unable to afford home-care, He moved in with her and she became his caretaker. The guy had it rough, showing high dementia, and a tendency to scream out in the night that he wanted to die.

She told me the night before he moved in that she was afraid I'd leave her because she wouldn't have a social life for a time, to which I said I wouldn't. Then things became hard. We would try and talk when we could, but it was months of strain that eventually led to me asking if she needed time away from having a relationship, to which she said "yes" that she only had time for taking care of him. From there I would only text every couple weeks to check in on her. About a month ago her grandfather passed away, and she now will rarely answer my texts, or any of our mutual friends.

she just lost a close family member. obviously it's not only you who she's not answering she just probably needs time to grieve and if you meant something to her she would come around in time. stop forcing a relationship or status with her. nothing good can come out of that. if she forgets about you or she finds someone else it wasn't meant to be you. in my opinion i'd go out and spin plates

 

[Greasy Pig]

I'd say she's vigorously fvcking a doctor she met at the hospital.
Very strange behaviour from her, even considering the trauma she's had.

 

[yougottaknow90]

the closer you try to pull her the farther away you'll push her.

say nothing and wait till she contacts you (if ever - so i suggest meeting other women).

forcing contact will fvck the situation up beyond what it currently is.

it's tough to take in, but if she wants to talk to you, she'll talk. she'll let you know. this rings true for women in general (once you've established rapport with them, which in this case you have) and is something i struggle with myself at times (i.e. when a girl doesn't respond).

 

[Chamber36]

IMO if you were really a relief for her to be around then she would be hanging out with you or fvcking you despite her dying grandfather.

The fact she could only deal with you when she wasn't stressed makes me think that you aren't helping her to really unwind.

 

[lamobatsman]

as in the in betweeners her grandfather dying is irrelevant.

Some of the advice on here is silly. Shes not interested and i wouldnt be suprised shes screwing or at least texting other people. Are you seriously telling me shes not texting her friends are anyone the last month?! If she really liked you she would love to hear from you every day esp during this traumatic time when she needs her friends and im sure you are very caring about her grandfather and this situation but shes not even letting you in to care about her.

Also as a side note this is not a girl you want to be in a rship with. Imagine when you guys are together and something bad happens again to one of her family members and she does this again and you cant be there for her cos she wont tell you what is going on.

Any girl who likes you would at least let you know what is going on with her gradfather and inform you throught out and keep in contact. She would do this because she would be scared of losing you and you moving on. As in this case she couldnt give a flying **** what you do or who you date or ****