"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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What do I call you?

H

HalfAddict

Master Don Juan
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Been seeing this girl, went on a few dates over the last couple months, going to go to a party with her tomorrow and she sends me this text.

What do you want me to call you? If I say you are just a friend all the women will come after you like you are a piece of meat...

I say I'll deflect them don't worry.

She says I'm serious they are all single horny people, My friend so and so will come after you like a puma.

I know she's into me and worried her friends are gonna steal me away, this is a good thing. I figure I'll be fine..


Never got a message like this before ahah
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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J

Jitterbug

Master Don Juan
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Girl: What do you want me to call you?
You: Sir / Ser / Lord HalfAddict / some roleplaying name (give her one too)

Don't give her a straight answer on this one. It's a form of beta bait to see how committed you are to her. Unless you plan to girlfriend this one up right now, stay playfully vague.
 
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