What did you do to decrease her attraction to you?

[DonJuanabe]

Generally, when a girl is attracted to you, her feelings for you decrease little by little over a period of time, usually the result of various things you do or don't do.

An example of something I did that falls into this category: Back in 2000 I was dating a girl and our plans for a Friday night were to rent a movie and order Chinese take-out. I was summer so I was wearing shorts and short sleeve shirt. Since we weren't going out I figured a t-shirt is fine and I wore one of my most comfortable ones -- which had a hole in the back. I still remember her reaction when she first saw the back of my shirt -- she stepped forward and put her finger in it, touching my back, and lingered there for a second.

A couple months later, after she broke up with me, I was arguing with her about getting back together, and one of the things she said (as part of telling me we were in different places in life and were not compatible) was "You wore a shirt with a hole in it!"

Obviously that was not THE reason she broke up with me, but her talking about it months later and sort of lingering over it when she saw it that night we rented a movie, tells me it was one of those things things had a negative impact on her feelings toward me. That's usually how it happens, little by little you scratch away her attraction and it gets to a point where she finally decides she doesn't want to date you anymore.

Anyone else?

DJBe

 

[SoSuave666]

I wish all girls were like Patricia Arquette in True Romance.

BTW, don't let the name fool you, great flick!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6gOr7972B7U&feature=fvwrel





Anyway, part of the problem is that women are in too high demand. They know that no matter how a 'ship goes that when they begin to lose interest, they can find someone else IMMEDIATELY. It really is a man's job to keep her interest high. There are plenty of ways to do this, just read through the site. It's pointless to talk about what you did to turn a woman away, because in reality no matter what they say you CAN'T TRUST IT.

You can't be best friends with your chick either bro. You can't have a lot of "chill out" nights with your girl, because then you become besties and you gossip and sh!t and you become a girl friend. She wasn't pissed at what you wear. I wear shirts with holes in them OUT TO BARS and can still pull. Other things were at play.

 

[DonJuanabe]

Well, keep in mind there is a difference between different kinds of girls -- hippie chicks, preppy, classic, rocker chicks, etc. The girl I mentioned tended to dress well in a "classic" style, generally didn't care for bars, and would never wear anything shabby. I think it is fair to say what I wore translated in her mind as me not caring, not making even the slightest effort, and was simply an ounce added on to the almost always growing pile of attraction detraction.

But I certainly agree with what you said about being friends -- I usually go into laid back / I don't care / we are friends mode when things get serious between me and a girl, but that is the wrong attitude to hold. I need to remind myself that at that stage a girl wants you to continue to romance her, take her out, make effort for her... or she'll find someone else who will. We can complain all we want about the female sense of entitlement, but the point is if you want to keep the girl you have to play the game.