"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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What did I do wrong?

J

jtb123

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Ok so last I went out with one of my good mates and some other friends. His ex who is good friends with me rings me up to see whats happening so I tell her to come to the bar we were at and she did. Me and her have been the kissing/hooking up type of friends for a little bit now which is probably going to lead onto some sorts of sex sooner or later because I know she likes me (Im just the one who has been unsure whether or not to bang her because shes one of my good mates ex's).

Okay so now I realise that I do wanna bang her so I invited her to this bar that were at. Basically the whole night she was talking to him (my friend the ex) (I was getting my say in sometimes throwing in some C+F directed at her which she responded to) and when we left to go to another bar she just followed him around like they were still together. So now we get into a TAXI and im in the back seat with her and hes in the front. She looks at me and I go in for the kiss but she backs away and shes never done that before.

Should I pull her up on it and ask why she was a f*cking ***** to me the whole night. Should I just not mention it? What did I do wrong? Whats the go?
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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B

Bill

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You didn't do anything wrong, that I can tell of... save maybe for expecting so much from this girl.

She probably woke up that day hoping to get some attention from her ex, since she could easily get yours anyways. Whether it's just a little game in her head or not shouldn't be relevant, as you shouldn't have had given her all the power in the first place.

My take on it is to NEXT and look for hook-ups elsewhere. She's clearly not worth your time.

-Bill
 
L

LongDrinkofWater

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Did you ever consider that she backed away because she didn't want to have her ex see you two kissing in the back seat? My guess is that you would have got the kiss had he not been there.
 
J

jtb123

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I dont think I gave her that much attention and im pretty sure neither of them knew that I was pissed off with the situation. But with the kiss thing, I was pretty drunk, I know I shouldnt have done it but I have an excuse.

And about it being my mates ex, I know if he was in my situation he'd bang her.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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##17

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I'll suspend disbelief and assume that your friend is OK with you getting physical with his ex, and that his ex knows that.

It sounds to me that you came across as a puppy dog looking for a treat. Your C+F words don't matter as much as your wussy actions of hanging around her all night when she was hardly giving you any attention. (Not trying to be harsh, just want to give you constructive criticism for your good.) So your stock dropped with her, and that is why she pushed you away. You would have been better off wandering off and doing your own thing.
 
J

jtb123

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Well I went to see her today and everything seemed good but i needed to test her out again. I went for the kiss again and she turned her head. I didnt even bother to ask why but I realised that im starting to like this girl when I promised myself I wouldnt. At the moment im feeling semi-relieved that iv woken up to the fact I shouldnt like this girl because we were good friends when she was seeing my mate and I want it to be like that. The thing is that when I see her ass I just cant not feel like I wana bang it.

What shes told me is that she would bang me but she doesnt want to cause it would 'ruin it' just like it did with her ex (they were good friends b4 they became a couple). I feel like telling her its ruining it now that I cant get it because Iv basically gotta turn myself away and not be as close friends as we were. Its a shame cause im genuinely gonna miss her as a friend.
 
J

JonJack

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Originally posted by jtb123
Well I went to see her today and everything seemed good but i needed to test her out again. I went for the kiss again and she turned her head. I didnt even bother to ask why but I realised that im starting to like this girl when I promised myself I wouldnt. At the moment im feeling semi-relieved that iv woken up to the fact I shouldnt like this girl because we were good friends when she was seeing my mate and I want it to be like that. The thing is that when I see her ass I just cant not feel like I wana bang it.

What shes told me is that she would bang me but she doesnt want to cause it would 'ruin it' just like it did with her ex (they were good friends b4 they became a couple). I feel like telling her its ruining it now that I cant get it because Iv basically gotta turn myself away and not be as close friends as we were. Its a shame cause im genuinely gonna miss her as a friend.
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Hey man, there's plenty of other asses out there that are perfectly nice to bang. If you think objectively here, you would realize that it's all about her ass. And what about the talk about friendship? That's just an excuse. All it is is an illusion of having one foot through the door. She's not really a friend if you can't be friends with her if she doesn't want to fvck you. So please stop using that excuse.
 
B

blinkwatt

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Sometimes its now what we did wrong but rather the situation at the time. As someone stated above maybe she did not want you friend to see you kiss her. I think you should have waited unless she was the one to initiate it,because kissing and making out in front of your friends who are stag is rude. Just take her out an d try it when you two are alone. If you try to take her out and she flakes/ditches you then perhaps it was you that messed up the kiss. YOU NEVER KNOW UNLESS YOU TRY. If you want more input just PM me and I can give you examples,had something like this recently happen to me as well.
 
B

Bill

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Originally posted by ##17 It sounds to me that you came across as a puppy dog looking for a treat. Your C+F words don't matter as much as your wussy actions of hanging around her all night when she was hardly giving you any attention. (Not trying to be harsh, just want to give you constructive criticism for your good.) So your stock dropped with her, and that is why she pushed you away. You would have been better off wandering off and doing your own thing. [/B]
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I'll go with this too. Learn from your mistakes, accept your fate and move on... plenty of fish in the sea.

-Bill
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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##17

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Originally posted by jtb123
Well I went to see her today and everything seemed good but i needed to test her out again. I went for the kiss again and she turned her head. I didnt even bother to ask why but I realised that im starting to like this girl when I promised myself I wouldnt. At the moment im feeling semi-relieved that iv woken up to the fact I shouldnt like this girl because we were good friends when she was seeing my mate and I want it to be like that. The thing is that when I see her ass I just cant not feel like I wana bang it.

What shes told me is that she would bang me but she doesnt want to cause it would 'ruin it' just like it did with her ex (they were good friends b4 they became a couple). I feel like telling her its ruining it now that I cant get it because Iv basically gotta turn myself away and not be as close friends as we were. Its a shame cause im genuinely gonna miss her as a friend.
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She pushes you away last night and you go for the kiss, again? Think about it: What did she do to deserve you kissing her? Suppose a woman you kept pushing away threw herself at you the next day. Wouldn't you lose respect for her?

The problem is that you're becoming very predictable and wussy-like. And all the C+F words out of your mouth aint gonna fix it. Before you go into tunnel vision, realize that there are plenty of other women out there. If you back off, she will probably come after you!
 
R

Royal Elite

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Bottom Line:

She likes you or she doesn't.

You tried to kiss her twice and she didn't go for it. Therefore it doesn't matter why she doesn't like you but it's obvious she doesn't.

So I guess you will just have to go either:

Stay stuck on this 1 girl
or
Take a shot at the other of millions of girls in your area.
 
J

JJMcLure

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She still likes him to some extent by the look of it.

The reason she wants to hang around you all is probably because she used to when they were dating, now her friend circle may have shrunk, or she just misses the times you all had.

She sees you as a friend. Making out doesn't mean almost anything to chicks - it's just "fun". Especially when they're drunk (then nothing is their fault).

Don't believe that sh1t "I would bang you but it would ruin our friendship". LOL! That's the oldest LJBF in the book. And it's a great one-itis causer too.

You already identified the right thing to do, pull away if you feel a one-itis coming on.

Also, never apologise to a chick for making a move. That comes off weak and turns them off - never apologise for your desires as a man. She is entitled to say no and you respect that if she does, but you're entitled to make a move.
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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