What did I do wrong? Plz help

[Iwantahottie]

Allright I've frequented these boards many times but this is the first time I've gotten into the field.

I met this chick at my job and she has a great personality. I was talking with her at work one day and asked what she does for fun.. she mentioned that she knows no one in town and that she would love to go out sometime.. yadda yadda. I asked her if she likes sushi so she mentioned that she loves it and if I wanted to go that night! Things were really going my way at this point. I was also acting like I didn't even care what would happen either way.

Fast forward to later that night. We met and had a great time. I used alot of seduction techniques which worked well (C+F, story telling, destiny angle, etc.). So when we both left off I gave her a hug and told her "I had a great time too but no staulking!" Got that from David Dangelo. I could see her eyes light up.

So we saw each other at work again and our jobs are extremely fast paced so we could barely talk to each other. Next work day we got to talking again and I layed more C+F about how she was working slow but not to worry if the king is here. We were laughing at each other all day, funny ass stuff. She mentioned that later she was going to watch non-stop cartoons or some odd **** so I said "How constructive with your free time?" So she said "Well, I'm not getting any so what better to do" I was paused by that remark. She had to of been wanting to bone.

Anyways later I ask what she is doing and that I'm going to the hookah lounge and if she wanted to join me. She said sure I'll call you. So I told her "No, I'll call you." Then walked out.

I call her up later and her sister anwsers. I tell her who I am and she goes on to tell me how much this girl is raving about me to her mother and her. She is 18 and I'm 21 by the way. She tells me that she is at the mall and that she'll tell her I called.

5 Minutes later my phone rings. Its her. Seriously, my phone had each call 5 minutes off. I was eating dinner downstairs so I didn't even sweat it. I called her an hour and a half later and apparently she was on the other line. So she calls me back an hour later. She tells me that she is mad tired and if I just wanted to catch a movie or eat. She goes on to tell me she is working at 6am bla bla bla so I can tell she is tired. I said lets take a raincheck and do it another night. Now I was thinking if she didn't counteroffer we had a problem. But she did!

Now heres where things slide a little so stay with me I hope you understand cause I don't.

She tells me how about the next night? I said I have to check my schedule, but we can talk tommorow. She said I'll call you after I get off. Now remember before I said No I'll call you? Well this time I said "Do that." I could tell like that took her off guard a little bit just by the way she said "allright." Was that the bad seed? Anyways it goes on a little more.

So today is the next day. She got out at 12pm. I worked at 6:15pm. I didn't get a call all day from her. I figured we had plans so I decided to call her at 8pm and flake on her because I noticed her Interest Level dropping. I called and she anwsered and my voice was a little trembly cause I was outside in the cold ass weather. (Had too)

Her: "Hello"
Me: "Hi, is HERNAME there?"
Her: "Oh MYNAME?"
Me:"Yeah"
Her:"Can an I call you back?"

I noticed someone was on the other line cause when she hung up my phone didn't. So I never got a call back from her. I have to work with her on Monday so I am guessing not to do anything until then.

Did I do something wrong? Any hardcore DJ's see something?

Thanks in advance

 

[Skweints]

She mentioned that later she was going to watch non-stop cartoons or some odd sh*t so I said "How constructive with your free time?" So she said "Well, I'm not getting any so what better to do" I was paused by that remark. She had to of been wanting to bone.

I'm going to say that's where your mess up point was. This is what is called a sh*t test, and you failed... Hesitation killed you.

If I were you, I would've said some more C/F, e.g. "Wow, hinting at sex already huh? I don't even know if you're a good kisser. That would be a TOTAL turn off." This usually does the trick. I've had a girl say something to me, can't remember exactly what it was, but it opened up me to respond with a sly look like "So why don't we bang?" and when she responds with a disgusted look, I respond with "Whaaaaat?! Why does everything always have to be about sex! Geeeeez. *roll eyes*" They don't know WHAT the hell to think. Or another great way is when they say "Why does everything always have to be about sex?!"... great response "I don't know, you're the one who keeps bringing it up! *grin*"

She tells me that she is mad tired and if I just wanted to catch a movie or eat. She goes on to tell me she is working at 6am bla bla bla so I can tell she is tired. I said lets take a raincheck and do it another night. Now I was thinking if she didn't counteroffer we had a problem. But she did!

Another mistake... you lost control here. You gave her the power, she said she was tired, and you were willing to take a raincheck. A nice "Tired? What? You're so borrrrrrrrrring! You know being tired is just a mental state. I bet if I showed you a good time, you'd wake RIGHT up." would've done the trick. If she argued the point, then you could simply state "Oh well, guess I gotta find something else to do tonight then! See ya later!" Usually, though, if she's not convinced by the first line, she's generally not interested.

Did I miss anything else, DJ's?

 

[Iwantahottie]

Perhaps I am just looking too much into this and she is just waiting till I see her at work again to see whats up.

Personally I need to stop giving a ****.

 

[tmpgstx]

I don't think she's your time. She's obviously flakey/fickle. You will find this out more later if not enough so now.

Get ready for a roller coaster.

 

[Iwantahottie]

True, anyone else have any thoughts? 54 views, got to be more DJ's in one of those views

 

[Skweints]

Originally posted by Iwantahottie
Perhaps I am just looking too much into this and she is just waiting till I see her at work again to see whats up.

Personally I need to stop giving a ****.

I doubt that, mang... Girls, unless they want something from you, won't give you any way to move forward if they don't want you to. I don't know if they are genetically programmed this way or WHAT, but chances are, if you don't feel like you have a chance, then you probably don't. (note, I said FEEL, not THINK. I'm talking about gut instincts, here, not mental thought.) I recommend you keep yourself busy at work, and try not to pay too much attention to her. If she's still interested, she'll come around. Do not place any HOPE that she will come around, though. You'll just end up driving yourself crazy, and acting like wise, which will just scare her away. Don't forget what I said above! Trust me man, I know I'm right on that stuff, I've made those mistakes way too many times before... h*ell, I still do from time to time! Never ever let a woman hinting about sex catch you off guard... they know they got you when they do. When you hesitate like you did, it sends off a flag in their mind saying "Yeah, he wants to have sex with me. I got him in the bag. NEXT!" Most women want to feel sexually attractive (e.g. HOT) without having to have sex.

However, yes, you shouldn't give a shiot. Patients and persistance, my friend. Keep looking, eventually you'll find another girl to take your mind away; if you listen to us experienced DJ's gotta say, you'll do just fine next time.

 

[check_mate_kid_uk]

Skweints is right, she gave you these signs and you did nothing, that was bad, but i do not think all is lost if you just mkaesure you do not make the same mistake.

Maybe she really was busy and could not call you, wait till mondau and see what happens, dont be afraid to come on strong, she wants you to, shes beggining for it and your not giving her any, it drives girls crazy but if you hold it back like you did then they get fed up and think you are some loser or not intrested in them and they lose intrest, but do remember all is not lost.

 

[Tkman]

Originally posted by Iwantahottie
So she said "Well, I'm not getting any so what better to do" I was paused by that remark. She had to of been wanting to bone.

C'mon ..... she probably took that as an insult. She hinted at sex and you rejected her.

Skweints ....... nailed it for you

 

[Iwantahottie]

OKay first off I was at work how was I rejecting her? She said that to me and another co-worker standing around their (wasn't busy - just making small talk) cause we were busting on her for just watching cartoons. Plus just then a customer walked up 2 seconds later. It wasn't a conversation one-on-one with no interuptions so I couldn't respond attentivly.

Should I of said then why don't we bang right in front of everyone?

 

[sapphire]

I made the same mistakes.

When a woman offers or hints at sex and she perceives rejection as in your case, it is a big deal to her. It is a major blow to her ego and because of it she may not want to give you a second chance.

 

[Skweints]

Ayi yi yi yi yi!!! You're not hearing me!!! Come on, listen up! Girls, when hinting at sex, do it as a TEST. They test you to see if you physically want them, if you think they are sexually attractive. WHEN YOU FAIL THIS TEST by showing you are sexually attracted to them, they WIN. They think to themselves "He wants to have sex with me, I must be sexually attractive. Let me see if I can get another guy to think that." She is no longer CHASING you. She is looking for another guy. If you PASS THIS TEST, by making her unsure if she is sexually attractive, she will CHASE YOU even MORE trying to find out if she is sexually attractive. By PASSING the test, you will FUEL their curiosity even more.

Look at it this way... how many guys are willing to turn down sex? VERY FEW. But these men turn down sex in a NEGATIVE way. They say "No, I'm not interested." That tells the girl "No, I'm not sexually attractive. I guess we're better off just friends." Like sapphire was saying above, this is a major EGO hit to them. And women take a No just like men do, ESPECIALLY when it comes to sex. If you use C+F to make her UNSURE, her curiosity will take over and she will chase you until she finds out, one way or another.

Now, I don't care WHO was around when she said this, she OBVIOUSLY had to say it when they were around anyways. If she's got the nuts to say something like that in front of people, and you don't have the nuts to respond, you send off the WUSSY flag, and she'll laugh at you and run away with your testicles in a jar. Trust me, women don't really care what your excuse is, you gotta be on the ball at all times. Besides, who gives a **** what the other customers think? They can file a complaint to your boss, and you being the smooth talking DJ that you are, you can ensure him that it won't ever happen again!

 

[Kaine]

If you PASS THIS TEST, by making her unsure if she is sexually attractive, she will CHASE YOU even MORE trying to find out if she is sexually attractive. By PASSING the test, you will FUEL their curiosity even more.

I can confirm this.

However you also need to be aware of the situation and the personality of the girl. It may not always be a test, in those kinds of situations if you turn down a girl who is actually going to put out, you may run the risk of shooting them down and losing the oppurtunity at a later point.

But if it's all flirtatious touching and talking, then playing hard to get will help increase IL

Interesting

Kaine

 

[Iwantahottie]

Dementia you just helped me in ways I cannot even explain. That is exactly what might of occured. I know it wasn't the whole hinting at sex thing although I totally feel you guys on that part. But their was just something stupid I said more towards Dementia's idea. She started getting this way once I said "Do that". Trust me I heard to way she spoke after I said that.

I also am putting way to much emphasis on her. I'll see her tommorow and let you know if anything changes. I just don't know if I can make up ground.

 

[Skweints]

Yeah, you would think they were a wanker... maybe for a couple hours. What you say has very little impact compared to what you do or how you respond to situations.

I'm still gonna stick to what I said being the main problem. There have been PLENTY of times where I've been rude to a girl. Sure, they get pissed off for a few minutes, but 30 minutes later, they act as if it never happened. Besides, how do you think jerks get so much ass? You think they are worried about being rude? I find it very hard to believe that a simple request such as "Do that." would cause her to drop her interest level so damn much.

 

[jean laurent]

Iwanthottie: there's a million ways to analyze what happened. No one can hit the nail on the head because there's just too much information we're not aware of. As such, all this analyzing is just a waste of time, and probably even counter-productive. The bottome line is you still haven't "screwed it up", you are still definitely in there with a chance.

Yeah, "do that" is a bit weird, and can be taken badly, but I doubt that would ever be the sole cause of chick that's into you losing interest (unless her dad, who used to beat her up, was always saying, "yeah, do that" ).

One thing I'll firmly say you screwed up is: "So when we both left off I gave her a hug". Some people might think it's okay, but in my book, hugs are G A Y, big time. To me, it has wussy written all over it. Go for a kiss or don't, it's up to you, but I strongly recommend dropping the hugs.

And yeah, you're thinking about it too much. That's okay, it happens to everyone.