"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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What did I do wrong? (Girl at a club)

MayHeM ThEoRy

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So I was at an 80s club with a friend and found a very very hot girl just standing by herself all drunk. I went up to her and said "HEY! Lets dance" she said ok hold on, said something to her friend (girl) and we went off.

I led her to the stage since I wanted her to see that I have balls dancing on the main stage. Anyway, we danced a little bit, lots of griding and dirty rubbing on my **** lol..


Anyway, after a few min I said "Wow you suck at this!"

Her: What? I suck?

At this point she started to walk off the stage, then I called her back saying I was just kidding.

Few more minutes of dancing and I said something along the lines of

"You have to earn me" or something.. idk what she said before that because I was sort of drunk too.

Her: I have to earn it? NO YOU have to earn it! And had that "I'm such a perfect girl; I get what I want" smirk on her face.

As she walked off, I was like "fine, go then!"

She came back after walking a few feet and started dancing with me again.


Then after a few minutes, she said, I'll be back... and never came back lol. I saw her with her other friends dancing with some other dudes :(


What should I have done? I have no idea what to say in situations like this.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Sir_Turtle

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You made the situation. You don't use words to tell her she has to earn you. You use actions. Your words hold little meaning to a girl. its teh thoughts,context and implied meaning behind them.

And you basically implied that you were insecure and a selfish douchebag. Why else would you have felt the need to tell her you "had to be earned." there was no reason to tell her she sucked at dancing either. Negs are not the same as random insults.
 

pLaYtHiNg

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Well, considering you won't likely see her again, (or will you?) I wouldn't worry about it.

I would assume that she got pretty bored, (or distracted) and lost interest in you. Maybe she was just drunk. Starting off with an insult, even jokingly, probably isn't the best method of getting a girl, (although you get points for originality)... :)

It just seems like you were playing "too hard to get" and she wasn't that willing to 'earn' you. Sorry if that came across as harsh, but from your account it doesn't seem like she's into playing games. Try *sincere* compliments next time!
 

Prodigy746

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Sir_Turtle said:
You made the situation. You don't use words to tell her she has to earn you. You use actions. Your words hold little meaning to a girl. its teh thoughts,context and implied meaning behind them.

And you basically implied that you were insecure and a selfish douchebag. Why else would you have felt the need to tell her you "had to be earned." there was no reason to tell her she sucked at dancing either. Negs are not the same as random insults.
Exactly ... you are suppose to show that you have higher value than the girl not "tell her" that you are better than her.

You are suppose to show her that you are the prize and have her want to chase you. What you did was say you are the prize without showing her and she was like "yah rite bye" lol.
 

mtlwlu

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You did what I use to do, just use canned lines left right and center. I mean use small talk first and use a better neg hit line something like "my grandma dances better than you." instead of saying "you suck as this"
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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amoka

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mtlwlu said:
"my grandma dances better than you." instead of saying "you suck as this"
You: "... my grandmother got better moves that this...."
her: "excuse me ...."
You: "you could get a lesson but it comes with a price"
This avenue is better than "you suck at this." Besides, why did you tell her "she has to earn you" knowing well that you're the one after her?
 

MayHeM ThEoRy

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idk, I just thought it would work as a neg. I'm pretty bad at this I know ;_; why do I fail so much?!?!?
 

Mr_rogers

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MayHeM ThEoRy said:
idk, I just thought it would work as a neg. I'm pretty bad at this I know ;_; why do I fail so much?!?!?
Don't beat yourself up man, you're doing better than a lot of others here. Besides, I get the feeling that you're willing to put the effort into improving, so just keep practicing and it'll all come together. :box:
 

cool dude

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yea werd dude.With practice it's inevitable that you will improve. I sort of think that it won't matter how much I go out,I will never improve but that's just my negative mind taking control.I am trying to rewire my brain and my outlook on living and seeing life.
 

mtlwlu

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Im naturally good at neg hits and ****y and funny lines, the key isnt always in the words itself but the timing and situation around it too.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Kevin Feng

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"There are a 1,000 ways to say "pass the salt shaker""

That totally applies to this situation here. I wasn't there, but I'm guessing you said this in a tone of a voice that was somewhat reflective that you ACTUALLY meant what you said. It's too early to be push/pulling to that extent.

Remember, she's a hot girl in a club, she knows she's hot and there are 1,000 other guys in that club that will satisfy her needs, so don't challenge her to that.

That's negative reinforcement, she's danced with you and was rubbing her junk and you punished her for it.

The whole "not buying a girl a drink" thing is taken out of context here. I'm guessing you were in set with her for about 30 or so minutes and plus it got sexual, you honestly should have gotten her a drink afterwards.
 
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