What constitutes approval seeking behavior?

[Raven80]

Hey guys, been trying to find articles about this but I haven't been able to find anything which I'm looking for, I figured that since there's quite a few socially savvy guys here maybe you can help me with this. Recently I've been paying attention to my body language, eliminating any fidgeting, working on the posture and not leaning in at all. These changes have worked extremely well for me, but along with body language comes the significant tone and behavior.

I've turned down the energy abit, but I'm still a bit confused when it comes to behavior. There's a lot of stuck up people out there, and if you are an open friendly person they usually start acting like *******s, at the same time, I don't wanna walk around with this attitude where I pretend I'm better than everybody else. Another thing is, when I meet somebody new, I'm always guarded with what I say and act towards them, basically I don't wanna show any interest early on, so I'm wondering, what are some questions or behaviors which show that a person is seeking approval and what are some questions which show an eagerness to know a person, because I want to automatically train myself to not do that, but at the same time be open and friendly.

Very confused about this...

 

[Conquer]

I hope this helps,
1st- Asking for permission to do things.

I know its not much. Sorry. Don't be afraid to make mistakes. Best of luck

 

[She_feelin_Me]

^^ask for permission for what?? Just asking.

You can carry yourself as being a lil bit stuck up and friendly at the same time...I mean you should feel like you are above everyone because that shows confidence but have the ability to conversate with anyone on a friendly tip...Have the attiutude that you are the ****! Nothing can **** my day up and I love being me!

 

[Joe Stud]

conversate? guess I learned me a new word!

 

[yuppaz]

I unconsciously did (maybe still do) this too. I don't think you can simply adjust your behavior to fix this, on a deep level you need to get the idea that you are your own person and that you can do or say whatever you want to whoever you want (within your morals and populace perceived morals and legal boundaries). Try to catch yourself doing this at every opportunity and ask yourself why you needed permission or approval from (%insert_somewhat_insignificant_to_your_life's_persons_name_here%)
anyway. If you keep catching it you'll probably come to the inevitable conclusion that your opinion counts no matter what and there's can too, but it doesn't have to be any MORE than yours!

 

[yuppaz]

Also re: the last part of your post, try expressing yourself vs. trying to get in their heads and see if they like you or make them like you.....by expressing yourself passionately they will like you WAYYYYYYY MORE and SO WILL U!