Paper Crane
Banned
- Joined
- Mar 6, 2021
- Messages
- 269
- Reaction score
- 258
- Age
- 28
I was thinking today about how certain things about my attitude changed in the time that I went from getting laid once a week or once a month from some average girl I didn't even like much to banging baddies and getting ***** daily. Here's some of what those things are:
1) I used to really highlight other peoples traits or accomplishments (being overtly nice/cool with everyone) I used to really boost other people up like "dude you're really cool man, you got an awesome personality" and give people props for everything. or like big my friends up alot around women . like "dude he lives in a sick ass apartment downtown" .. or just in general big up other poeples accomplishments like "yeah dude he served in the marine corps 10 years", "he makes over 200k a year" and just highlight other peoples achievements.
Now, I'm still nice to other people but I don't overly highlight peoples accomplishments for no reason. I think I just found things really cool about others easily or was just a really positive person.
-Why this kind of stuff matters is this: When you're constantly bigging other peoples highlights up , you're undermining yourself and your value. Not only that, you don't look like a d-ckrider even though you're actually just super positive and cool with everyone.
-Why this matters even more: You attract narcissists like this. Narcissists love people who can boost them up with their compliments and positivity. I attracted both dudes and chicks when it cames to narcs.. some of my former friends were complete narcissists.
How I am Now: Nowadays I'm super stoic and don't bring up anything for anyone. I let people do their own talking and I do less talking.
2) I used to have a victim mentality. Always connecting dots of negativity with other dots.
How this developed was through some bad experiences, as well as some childhood trauma with pretty crappy parents and family life.
-What it caused me to do: whenever things didn't go my way, I would think it was because of something-- an insecurity of mine, or some negative reason. and kind of always blame others as if they hurt me or did me wrong.. or if they were the problem , when I was the problem quite alot myself
-How I am now in this regard: I no longer play victim. I use logic to rationalize things, and if anything doesn't make sense or I'm paranoid about something, I take the more reasonable and logical route. I take responsibility for how things are
3) I used to tolerate disrespect from certain types of people without realizing it
I used to tolerate disrespect from certain individuals.. People I really cared about or I Was really confused by their actions. It seemed like people who were mean or *******s to me I really took alot of b.s from because I wanted everyone to like me because I was used to everyone liking me and being that dude that everyone gravitated towards.. That sh.t changed quickly when I started tolerating alot of b.s .
-Why this happened in my opinion: I think it dates back to my childhood and not being taught how to reason things...My parents would sometimes showed us love and sometimes treated us like sh.t and we never kne wwhy.. so we always tried to rationalize it in weird ways..
-Why you never want to tolerate disrespect: It can easily become a habit, and that habit can slowly rust away your confidence and self esteem. Before younow it, little events turn to major events and cause huge setbacks in your progress to become more and more confident
How I am now: I call out disrespect right away, and shut people down who try to disrespect me, and if I have to, cut them off completely and without too much hesitation
4) I used to be a major as.shole to people without realizing it
I think I was mainly always out for my gratification.. I would be super rude, sarcastic, say wild ass things, insulting things as jokes.. and just a general douchebag. This caused a lot of people to think I was kinda crazy or just a dirtbag. I lost some friends like this but also when I was like this, I also had a big group of friends.. oddly enough
How I am now: I try my best not to be a **** to people. I show people respect and when i make jokes, its usually tasteful. I think about my actions and what I'm doing, especially when its in regards to girls that I know my friends like
5) I used to be a bit of a computer nerd. I had a computer since a young age.. and used to be on it all the time at certain points in my life.Throguhout my life I always had a social life but I found myself inside alot still racking up hours on the computer/internet.
Pros/Cons: Pros were that I learned a lot of things.. to the point where I am able to talk about a plethora of different topics and have many interests..
Cons were that it f-ed up the way I think. It gave me alot of negative ideas about many many things in life.. It also made me kind of a short attention spanned person with a high need for gratification.. Causing me to be that guy at parties and events that acted out a bit rather than settled and had lengthy conversations with people.
5) I used to hang around a lot of a.ssholes / be surrounded by negativity
Truthfully I was a product of my environment.. While I hung around alot of "cool kids" type kids.. and my core group was cool kids, they/we were all as.sholes who all had some major flaws and were pretty bad to women, there was tons of negativity and drugs, and just living like reckless individuals with no real passions or goals besides women , smoking weed, partying,
Overall what really helped me change:
I just started being respectful to myself and to others. Holding myself with good character and being positive about life, about myself, giving myself a lot of self love which was missing for my entire life.. I started not being judgemental and critical about everything, including how I handled myself..
I started developing a better personality, a more cool and likeable one.. and started connecting to my sexual side.. because before, I was always super mentally driven and chasing mental gratification and not physical gratification.. I started thinking more about pleasing women than using them. I started thinking more about sexuality than egoism of having a girl or f-ing a baddie.. in example: i started to really think passionately. something i never could do before.
Its crazy how being radically positive and respectful and thinking more about physical and passion than ego driven mental gratification can change so much with women.
I've slayed 6 baddies on Tinder so far now and My main plate is a damn near pornstar goddess. I had never thought it would be like this .. though I always strived for this. Never give up boys.
1) I used to really highlight other peoples traits or accomplishments (being overtly nice/cool with everyone) I used to really boost other people up like "dude you're really cool man, you got an awesome personality" and give people props for everything. or like big my friends up alot around women . like "dude he lives in a sick ass apartment downtown" .. or just in general big up other poeples accomplishments like "yeah dude he served in the marine corps 10 years", "he makes over 200k a year" and just highlight other peoples achievements.
Now, I'm still nice to other people but I don't overly highlight peoples accomplishments for no reason. I think I just found things really cool about others easily or was just a really positive person.
-Why this kind of stuff matters is this: When you're constantly bigging other peoples highlights up , you're undermining yourself and your value. Not only that, you don't look like a d-ckrider even though you're actually just super positive and cool with everyone.
-Why this matters even more: You attract narcissists like this. Narcissists love people who can boost them up with their compliments and positivity. I attracted both dudes and chicks when it cames to narcs.. some of my former friends were complete narcissists.
How I am Now: Nowadays I'm super stoic and don't bring up anything for anyone. I let people do their own talking and I do less talking.
2) I used to have a victim mentality. Always connecting dots of negativity with other dots.
How this developed was through some bad experiences, as well as some childhood trauma with pretty crappy parents and family life.
-What it caused me to do: whenever things didn't go my way, I would think it was because of something-- an insecurity of mine, or some negative reason. and kind of always blame others as if they hurt me or did me wrong.. or if they were the problem , when I was the problem quite alot myself
-How I am now in this regard: I no longer play victim. I use logic to rationalize things, and if anything doesn't make sense or I'm paranoid about something, I take the more reasonable and logical route. I take responsibility for how things are
3) I used to tolerate disrespect from certain types of people without realizing it
I used to tolerate disrespect from certain individuals.. People I really cared about or I Was really confused by their actions. It seemed like people who were mean or *******s to me I really took alot of b.s from because I wanted everyone to like me because I was used to everyone liking me and being that dude that everyone gravitated towards.. That sh.t changed quickly when I started tolerating alot of b.s .
-Why this happened in my opinion: I think it dates back to my childhood and not being taught how to reason things...My parents would sometimes showed us love and sometimes treated us like sh.t and we never kne wwhy.. so we always tried to rationalize it in weird ways..
-Why you never want to tolerate disrespect: It can easily become a habit, and that habit can slowly rust away your confidence and self esteem. Before younow it, little events turn to major events and cause huge setbacks in your progress to become more and more confident
How I am now: I call out disrespect right away, and shut people down who try to disrespect me, and if I have to, cut them off completely and without too much hesitation
4) I used to be a major as.shole to people without realizing it
I think I was mainly always out for my gratification.. I would be super rude, sarcastic, say wild ass things, insulting things as jokes.. and just a general douchebag. This caused a lot of people to think I was kinda crazy or just a dirtbag. I lost some friends like this but also when I was like this, I also had a big group of friends.. oddly enough
How I am now: I try my best not to be a **** to people. I show people respect and when i make jokes, its usually tasteful. I think about my actions and what I'm doing, especially when its in regards to girls that I know my friends like
5) I used to be a bit of a computer nerd. I had a computer since a young age.. and used to be on it all the time at certain points in my life.Throguhout my life I always had a social life but I found myself inside alot still racking up hours on the computer/internet.
Pros/Cons: Pros were that I learned a lot of things.. to the point where I am able to talk about a plethora of different topics and have many interests..
Cons were that it f-ed up the way I think. It gave me alot of negative ideas about many many things in life.. It also made me kind of a short attention spanned person with a high need for gratification.. Causing me to be that guy at parties and events that acted out a bit rather than settled and had lengthy conversations with people.
5) I used to hang around a lot of a.ssholes / be surrounded by negativity
Truthfully I was a product of my environment.. While I hung around alot of "cool kids" type kids.. and my core group was cool kids, they/we were all as.sholes who all had some major flaws and were pretty bad to women, there was tons of negativity and drugs, and just living like reckless individuals with no real passions or goals besides women , smoking weed, partying,
Overall what really helped me change:
I just started being respectful to myself and to others. Holding myself with good character and being positive about life, about myself, giving myself a lot of self love which was missing for my entire life.. I started not being judgemental and critical about everything, including how I handled myself..
I started developing a better personality, a more cool and likeable one.. and started connecting to my sexual side.. because before, I was always super mentally driven and chasing mental gratification and not physical gratification.. I started thinking more about pleasing women than using them. I started thinking more about sexuality than egoism of having a girl or f-ing a baddie.. in example: i started to really think passionately. something i never could do before.
Its crazy how being radically positive and respectful and thinking more about physical and passion than ego driven mental gratification can change so much with women.
I've slayed 6 baddies on Tinder so far now and My main plate is a damn near pornstar goddess. I had never thought it would be like this .. though I always strived for this. Never give up boys.
