What behaviour defines an alpha male?

[Dirtheart]

I think one of my most lacking traits at the moment is aggressiveness. I'm tall, well built and could handle myself in a fair fight, but I choose to talk my way out of such situations because I can.

But I'm reading a lot about being the alpha male, but I'm not entirely sure what defines him. In the animal world the alpha male is defined by his physical power, which is something I have never chosen to assert. I do tend to be the centre of attention in most of my circles and have everybody's respect, though this is based on my intelligence and charisma. Does that make me the alpha male or is there certain behaviour I should be portraying?

 

[Caveman]

Cool question. I've been trying to figure out a way to explain this.

I think the most important thing you can do is be comfortable with yourself.

I think you are more of an alphamale trying to talk your way out of a situation rather than jumping at it. I think the woman and people in general will respect you more if you can be wise enough to avoid situations like that. When you know you can 'have' him, you don't have to prove anything. Just as long as you believe you can. That way you are not wimping out. When the situation gets really nasty, you will be man enough to jump his throat and beat the sh!t out of him.

I lately adopted the mindset where I see myself as the alpha of the people surrounding me. I am not arrogant about it, just trying to be that sort of leader that would try and bring out the best in 'his' people. Instead of daring them into a fight, you wanna talk sense into them. You don't have to be rude and put other people down. Instead of being jealous of the fat guy walking alongside of that gorgeous girl, in your mind compliment him for achieving this and be proud of the guy.

I think that's the most alpha anyone can be.

I don't know if I am clear enough about this. I hope you get my drift. If I am not clear feel free to ask more.

 

[Dirtheart]

Thank you Caveman, that's exactly what I hoped I would hear, as you describe me perfectly.

Actually, a few months ago a large gang of guys were starting a fight with one of my friends. They were pushing him around and I knew we stood no chance, but after I spoke to them face to face for a few minutes, I got apologies and handshakes from them all. Needless to say I was pretty proud of myself and it was better than waking up in a hospital bed.

 

[Caveman]

Well then, there you go, mr alphamale!

 

[JSH]

For a start if you want to be alpha you shouldn't be asking for advice on it from betas (which in a sense we would all be if you were an alpha male).

Secondly, im 17 and i see the attractiveness of being alpha, like of joining the army, but its futile. You can control a particular situation, but because of our mobility today, you will never be totally alpha, we are no longer self contained. There is always someone out there better than us (not a defeatist attitude), you will be beaten (probably by me ).

Now if you are purely talking about being alpha in a particular situation then that is something that i sympathise with. In social situations (where no violence/sport/physical prowess is needed) then to be alpha you should be the one in your clique who everyone turns to to tell their jokes and whose laughter it lives or dies by. It should be your name they all call to tell you stuff (tip: ignore them once or twice). If violence/physical prowess is necessary then you should be the one leading the pack, showing that you are capable of dealing with trouble, but not starting it through bone headedness.

However if you want us to tell you how to get that status then it is a lot harder as like a lot of human communication, this behaviour and corresponding status is organic, ie it changes due to the surroundings. The most important part is to be the 'main man', ie the one people feel they have to impress to gain favour or beat to become the top. (however, be wary that they are not trying to beat you purely to impress another). A good way of doing this is to be like a host at a party, do not give anyone undivided attention, but be available/approachable and be the gel/centre that holds the group together. A good way is to be the person that made this clique, friends, as they were all his acquaintances. ie they know each other through you, so most stuff should be channelled through you. However, you have to pay them some attention as otherwise they will get dishillusioned and supplant you.

Good luck with whatever you want

and
Roll with the punches

 

[falloutboy]

whoops

 

[JB101]

The whole alpha thing is way over rated. There are no true 100% alphas in the modern western world. Everyone suplicates at times. Even the most mega alpha of dictators can back down.

Instead of focusing on "is this alpha or not", just focus on, I have the b@lls, she has the *****. Then things fall into place.