Can you explain how this^ works in a committed LTR or marriage?
If you want to play that game during initial stages to intrigue her and be mysterious, cool!
But as has been discussed numerous times even by former successful PUAs (like Neil Strauss among others) the skills required for developing and maintaining a LTR are completely different from skills required to pull and seduce a woman initially.
Come on, any man whose ever been in a successful LTR (years) knows this.
"Making her chase" is the wrong mindset for LTRs and will in all likelihood render you (in her eyes) as emotionally unavailable, avoidant, damaged, controlling and if she has any self-respect/self-esteem at all, NOT long-term boyfriend material.
Course as everyone knows a large percentage of women in today's dating environment DO lack self-respect and self-esteem and IF this is the type of woman you want or need in a LTR, have at it guys.
I know I wasn't asked, but in my honest opinion this concept has a lot to do with preventing that dreaded "You're not the man/woman I married" or similar. Doesn't matter how excellent things are, keeping things "fresh" is a very real challenge. And sometimes people just 'fall apart' to no one person being at fault necessarily. Both chose the other after all. That choice, whether we accept it or not doesn't only appear once. Speaking of which I dislike the word 'CHASE.' It is more like 'choose.'
Not so sure what his take on it is, but I typically give attention in such ways to find women who simply MUST have me and I just happened to land a few (and I hope this one is going to be around for as long as time permits, but no matter what life goes on) who not only "chase" (or CHOOSE, as I prefer
) me every day but I also choose them. Too many people compromise their choice just because someone is conveniently showing interest. That's not only dishonest, but it's also not going to improve any of your future relationships either.
In a committed relationship, part of my job as a man is to CONTINUE to sweep her off her feet on the odd rainy day. To be seductive and fascinating. Not necessarily 'brooding and mysterious.' Rather, continuing to learn new things about the her and to appreciate them as I also grow and learn new things that she will appreciate. To be honest about disagreements and to accept that not every disagreement must turn into an agreement. I disagree that skills required for seduction have no place in an LTR. That belief can get people closer to the "You're not the man/woman I ____d." faster than something fast.
The other person in the relationship absolutely has a say in any decision, sure. But too much sacrifice from one or the other for the sake of "doing it the RIGHT way" is a recipe for disaster. No woman respects a pushover or a man who becomes malleable, awkward, emotionally reactional or "avoidant."
The notion that someone needs to be avoidant to seduce (which is not a four letter word) and beguile or otherwise have fun with someone in an LTR is ridiculous and I have no idea what man suggests such a thing who is worth his salt. It's not so much as 'making someone chase' per se as it is giving her reasons to choose me each day. She should be doing the same. Some men are only a shoulder rub or a batch of homemade cookies from cheating on their wives.
There's also a weird belief that anyone in a community such as this can't possibly learn to appreciate one lady over millions of others for who she is. Most of the stuff on here can indeed be taken as encouragement for manipulation and development of toxic traits. Seduction and relationship skills are important however and they're tools. Tools can be misused and dangerous, for sure. I understand that most of what is spoken in places like this is due to angst and frustration due to people blowing smoke and sunshine where sun doesn't shine and they feel lied to and cheated once they find out that well meaning advice got them nowhere. hehe.
Not saying anything you're probably not aware of by any stretch and it's not my intention to seem as if I assume I know what you're thinking feeling about a certain topic. I don't know you too well other than the odd post I read, but I'm sure more than not, men appreciate the banter and exchange from ladies willing to do so. Myself included.
