"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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What are your thoughts on this type of woman?

El Payaso

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The type that has a lot of or only male friends because she claims she can't "relate to women".
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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ImTheDoubleGreatest!

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I think these women often claim to be tomboys. If they don't, I dunno. If they do, then they're in it for the attention.
 

Mike32ct

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Sure, plenty of women are honest enough to say that "Guys are easier to get along with." Whether it's because some guys are secret orbiters or because men are less into drama and less likely to hold grudges, I don't know. Probably a combination of all of that.

But if she ONLY has guy friends, that seems off. She's got to have at least one decent female friend right?
 

resilient

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I think women are competitive with each other when it comes to dating. If they suspect that their female friend is more attractive, sleeps around and could steal their bf/husband with some seduction, flirting, and charm; they will distance themselves from that woman or boot them for their all-girl social circle when word gets out.

Have you ever noticed good looking to beautiful women having a close female friend that is lower on the SMV scale? It's safe for them to confide in that woman because they don't have to worry about competition or mate guarding.

Plus, women hold grudges. If a woman offends another woman, it's WW3, they'll talk crap behind their backs or go NC on their friend. No general salvo, no let's make up and let by gones be by gones.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Billtx49

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Chances are the other women in her circles have stayed away from her because she cheats, they view her as a hoe and they are good women, or some other social deficiency she has.
I put the odds in favor of the first two choices…
 

resilient

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Chances are the other women in her circles have stayed away from her because she cheats, they view her as a hoe, or some other social deficiency she has.
Agreed and once the woman is ostracized from the group, the woman is left venting to orbiters, SO or struggle with depression while attempting to form temp friendships with other women. It's very hard for a woman to re-enter a social sphere once she's been kicked out. Grudges may be forgiven, yet they're certainly not forgotten and can re-emerge if offense is retriggered.
 

devilkingx2

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The type that has a lot of and only male friends because she claims she can't "relate to women".
one of three things:

1. she has boyish hobbies and interests, and thus has a lot of guy friends. if she loves to drink beer and play sports and video games, she won't have many female friends.

2. she's a complete slvt and is sucking at least 3 of their d!cks at any given time

3. she's a complete psycho so other women stay away from her, but men aren't as good at reading women so they can't tell until it's too late

of the 3, only the first 1 is good if you're taking her seriously, and only the first two are good if you're just casually banging her
 

The Duke

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The last girl(HB9) I dated had a lot of male friends(2 semi close female friends) and was extremely independent. She also had hobbies that were male oriented like guns/fishing. The reason she gave for having so many male friends was that females were too much drama and she related to men better than women. She was highly rational like a man, but at the end of the day there was still an irrational hamster wheel inside of her. Sometimes I think she struggled with where she fit in the world, she had the looks of a girly girl, but the mental desires and attitudes that men possess. This put her in conflict with herself many times in our relationship. She had that sweet nurturing female side at times that I enjoyed, but then she was independent and aloof.

The deal with her was she also had a few orbiters/exes she kept around that she lumped into the male friends category. They'd text her and like all of her pics on faKebook, and she never wanted to give this up. They were never a threat to our relationship, but they were a distraction. Two of them were all the time trying to get in her pants.

If you are a very secure and confident guy and have more value than her male friends then you will probably be fine. If not, then you will struggle with this type of girl.
 

Roober

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I say... "how do you write off half of the human species?"

If you understand womaneeze (womanes3 is a bad word?)... "I can't get along with/relate/hang out/etc. women" = no other woman finds me interesting enough to spend time with me
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

Read more...

logicallefty

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She wants all of her orbiters to herself so she makes sure there isn't any competition in her circle of friends.
 

Billtx49

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Women are threatened by her, and so treat her like sh*t.
I'll expand on that one. Decent women are not threatened by her. The word threatened is too broad of a term.
They just don't want her in their social circle because of their concern for their own reputation. They indeed will ostracize her if they know she's a slut. They view it as a social necessity. Even women know that hoes hang with hoes.
 
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Billtx49

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It's actually more about jealousy than anything else.

If the hot woman is a more easily controlled, predictable type, or she has a stable boyfriend, then it doesn't seem to matter. They feel secure.

But when the girl is the promiscuous sort, the women push them out and try and keep them away from their boyfriends.

I've shagged (even girlfriended) some women like this, so I know the nature of them. But what really opened my eyes to how they interact socially was managing a group of 10 women (nearly all of which were under 23) in a close and stressful environment for nearly a year during 2015.

And trust me, they don't just ostracize a girl like that. They are downright cruel, and try to purposely lower her value as much as possible.

The problem with that is when men take notice (and they always do), the girls value naturally rises - which causes further resentment :lol:
Depends on the situation. A woman I knew a few years ago cheated with her new man on her now ex husband. The social circle was married women and she was ostracized when they heard about her affair. She was with the new man and the group were all happily married. The only reason left is concern for their own reputation or some type of social pressure which did not include a fear that their husbands would go for the already taken cheating woman.
 
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"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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sazc

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Chances are the other women in her circles have stayed away from her because she cheats, they view her as a hoe and they are good women, or some other social deficiency she has.
I put the odds in favor of the first two choices…
She can't relate to women means she finds it hard to maintain a female friendship.
It could be a myriad of things. Women can be petty, catty, competitive, vindicative with each other. As a female, if you want female friends, you need to be able to value the other female, and navigate the female with care. If she can't relate its not a good sign in terms of her overall character.

I had a friend once tell me that she had no female friends because all of them abandoned her. One day she would simply stop hearing from them. I was astonished, and wondered how she managed to keep picking such low quality females.

Fast forward two years, a TON of passive aggressive behavior, more subtle snide comments than I could count, and sensitivity over the most meaningless things....and I abandoned her too.

People will tell you who they are. Listen.
 

BeExcellent

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It really varies by the individual. I'm a lot like @Howiestern 's last girl but without the insecure part. I have friendships that go back decades that are with men, one in particular always platonic, one for whom I was "the one who got away". My ex husband knew both of these men through me & we were social with them, neither would ever have disrespected my ex by doing anything even remotely suggestive, and we were often together with their significant other as couples. Not that we saw them very often (we didn't) but it was always just dinner or hanging out with couples type togetherness.

Hot women do have a tendency to end up isolated. I see this with my middle daughter who is very pretty relative to her peers. The other girls either want to befriend her (social proof) or ostracize her (she represents prettier competition), and it is awful. This has gone on since kindergarten.

My youngest daughter has a disability (mild) that affects her appearance. She is very cute & spunky. All the kids like her. She is non-threatening because of her disability and hasn't experienced the same social dynamics my older daughter is navigating.

Sometimes people assume a hot woman is a slvt because she's hot. This happened to me in high school but I was very clueless socially since all my friends were boys growing up (no girls in the neighborhood/parents too socially inept to get play dates with girls), and I also was much closer to my Dad than my mom. I grew up hunting, helping fix stuff and playing sports. I was a tomboy all the way and didn't realize I was pretty while in high school. Was painfully shy. Knew how to be buddies but not anything dating wise. It's really funny looking back. Such a geek in a hot package.

I did have a good girlfriend or two in high school but didn't really have a gaggle of girlfriends until college. I still am friends with all those women & many more. I just always innately 'got' men more than women, why else would I hang around here?

As noted in deesade' last two paragraphs women are brutal if they see a girl who is naturally alluring to men. The woman in question may be promiscuous, but she may well not be. Women will create all kinds of crazy assumptions when they are around someone else that brings out insecurity.

There is something innate to the behavior to see it in preadolescent girls.

My stance on this is simple. I'm not going to snub someone who has been my friend for 30 years through thick & thin for some man I just met because said friend happens to be a man.

But I don't run into this either. I date secure men who frankly tend to have lots of female friends...which I like because then it's no issue. He has female friends, I have male friends. Big fat hairy deal. I don't get cuckoo about their friends and neither do they get cuckoo over mine. If I am dating a man he is my top priority and I show him that respect. He doesn't feel the need to disqualify my friends any more than I feel the need to disqualify any of his.

I think age & life phase plays a role too honestly.
 

BeExcellent

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She can't relate to women means she finds it hard to maintain a female friendship.
It could be a myriad of things. Women can be petty, catty, competitive, vindicative with each other. As a female, if you want female friends, you need to be able to value the other female, and navigate the female with care. If she can't relate its not a good sign in terms of her overall character.

I had a friend once tell me that she had no female friends because all of them abandoned her. One day she would simply stop hearing from them. I was astonished, and wondered how she managed to keep picking such low quality females.

Fast forward two years, a TON of passive aggressive behavior, more subtle snide comments than I could count, and sensitivity over the most meaningless things....and I abandoned her too.

People will tell you who they are. Listen.
This really is a quality post. The social dynamics among women are much more subtle, much more bound up in subcontext and much more indirect than with men.

There is a joke among southern women that if you keep an outwardly polite façade but say "well bless her heart" it's really a serious snub and conveyance of disapproval, even rejection.

Women self organize into social hierarchies as a matter of course. If a woman is oblivious to this social dynamic she will eventually get run over by it, sooner if she is both oblivious and alluring.

I used to gravitate to male company in social settings. Why? Not for attention but rather because men would discuss substantive things like politics, business, sports, and I am a woman who grew up socialized and at ease with men. Men are also typically direct in their interpersonal interactions. My father was painfully blunt and concise with his words and so I found myself at ease in more male type conversations.

Contrast that to women's conversational contexts, which would without exception revolve around who did what with whom, who knows who, and where you got your hair done and your shopping done & your nails done. Add to this the underlying group approval/disapproval dynamic and I didn't like "woman" conversation. Everything struck me as two-faced, preening, shallow and not to be trusted at face value.

But if I hung around the men (where I naturally had an ease of demeanor and therefore an allure), I created more social roadblocks not less. For the men wouldn't care or might even like me, but the women would be jealous or annoyed because my tendency to gravitate to men came across as potentially sexually aggressive behavior in the womens' group view...hussy behavior...to which I was oblivious to for a long time. My old college roommate kindly pointed this out to me one day.

It was like being hit by lightning. Really???? Seriously???? But it explained everything. I'm NOT one of the guys. Dammit. Oh wait...hang on a minute...this is a good thing!!

There are plenty of women around who may like me, not understand all the social dynamics swirling around them. I would guess it to be more prevalent in younger women for a number of reasons including less life & social experience, lack of social conditioning within the family, and peak physical attractiveness.

So cut the poor girl a break and observe her behavior. Her behavior in time will show you everything you need to know.
 

taiyuu_otoko

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The type that has a lot of or only male friends because she claims she can't "relate to women".
Here's one way to look at it. Females behave the way they do because for the vast majority of human history, men went hunting while women did gathering.

There's a theory that while the men were out hunting (and not doing much talking) the women were back watching the kids, gathering, and gossiping like crazy.

The idea was that it promoted tribal cohesion. Meaning all the women knew about all the other women's business, which meant that eventually the men would come back from hunting and hear (from his wife) all of the daily gossip (which included the business of all the men).

So men and women, (as pairs) had this weird kind of "teamwork" driven by female gossip that kept everybody behaving well, as eventually everybody knew everybody's business. (Some believe that monkeys picking the bugs out of each other's hair is what eventually evolved into human gossip. tit for tat information exchange).

SO

If a woman has a hard time maintaining normal female relationships, it's not normal. There's a reason why. It is BENEFICIAL to be able to hold one's own with one's own gender, so I'd count is a deficiency.

What about the flip side?

Would a "high quality" lady date a guy who ONLY had lady friends, and didn't "get along" with other guys? Not likely.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

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