"What are you thinking?"

[ARK]

You've been dating someone for a little while. Your cuddling, kissing, looking in her eyes and the inevitable question comes up. She asks you, "What are you thinking?" In ********, what is she wanting you to say? Is she wanting you to spill your guts out? Trying to get a conversation going about your relationship?

The girl Im dating has asked that several times. I've turned it around on her and her answers are usually, "Im relaxed." "Im comfy." or "Nothing." A response of "nothing" seems more like something that she doesn't want to say or let me know.

Whats your thoughts on this question? How would you respond to it?

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

In other words, "Are you thinking about me?" "Am I at the forfront of your thoughts?" I usually tell them, "I'm thinking how a nice cold brew down my throat would be so deliciously consumed!!"

But what I'm really thinking is "I'd like to take you forcefully and abruptly into my grasp while you show slight resistance feigning innocence and pleading with me to be gentle with you, and for me to bend you over as easily as if you were a soft shell tortilla and, and, and..."

 

[chili kat]

Originally posted by PuertoRican_Lover
In other words, "Are you thinking about me?" "Am I at the forfront of your thoughts?" I usually tell them, "I'm thinking how a nice cold brew down my throat would be so deliciously consumed!!"

But what I'm really thinking is "I'd like to take you forcefully and abruptly into my grasp while you show slight resistance feigning innocence and pleaing with me to be gentle with you, and for me to bend you over as easily as if you were a soft shell tortilla and, and, and..."

Hell, that's good material there! I'd tell them the second one flat out! Seriously!

 

[manuva]

I hate this bullsh!t question. I usually reply:

"I was thinking... will there ever be a boy born who can swim faster than a shark?"

It shuts em up pretty quick.

PRL has some good advice. Whatever you say, don't for funk's sake say you're thinking about her or anything to do with her.

"I was thinking how much I hate pointless questions."

Hehe.

 

[BrotherAP]

If you're thinking about her, don't tell her. Show her. Other than that, just tell her what you're thinking about. Can't hurt. I've been caught in some random thoughts with that question - it opens the door wide for a completely random and off the wall topic. Or some humor.

I think "What are you thinking?" is ******** for "I'm bored. If we're not going to do anything, let's talk". Sometimes they also say it when they have an insecurity (i.e. "I think he's mad because ____" or "He's thinking about my ugly zit. Is he thinking about my ugly zit?" ).

 

[whistler]

Women say that when they feel you're ignoring them, or maybe lost in your thoughts.

But if they say it frequently, they're probably dying to discuss something, but too timid to broach the topic.

 

[ARK]

Originally posted by whistler
Women say that when they feel you're ignoring them, or maybe lost in your thoughts.

But if they say it frequently, they're probably dying to discuss something, but too timid to broach the topic.

Well, she said it last night as we were standing by the door saying our goodbyes for twenty minutes. Rather we were making out and then saying our goodbyes. The only other time she says it is when we are alone cuddling, kissing, etc.

Im wondering if she does has something she wants to discuss.

 

[BrotherAP]

Are you sure she wasn't wanting to invite you in, but wanting you to take the initiative and suggest it? That'd be my guess.

 

[ARK]

BrotherAP, I was leaving her apt.

 

[whistler]

Originally posted by ARK
Well, she said it last night as we were standing by the door saying our goodbyes for twenty minutes. Rather we were making out and then saying our goodbyes. The only other time she says it is when we are alone cuddling, kissing, etc.

Im wondering if she does has something she wants to discuss.

Well, it's not worth over-analyzing. But...

PR_L is right. She wants to know your thoughts (or more likely, gag, feelings) about her.

I think a girl in that situation is swimming in an absolute storm of thoughts and emotions. She's probably hoping you'll say something that shows you're feeling the same way. (Of course, she won't tell you how she feels, she'll just hope with her little romantic heart that you'll affirm the lovey-dovey status of your relationship.) And, of course, in a different tone and context, it might mean something else.

 

[Oxide]

"Frankly, dear, I am wondering how the hell did such a stupid and unnattractive woman ended up in my bed..."

Of course i said "nothing"

 

[the12thplanet]

just tell her your thinking about cheese.

 

[arutha]

Thats happened to me as well... We were sitting together and things were quiet, she was writing something and I was gazing off into space pretending I was thinking about something and not just sitting there, sohlud have seen it coming... I had no idea how to answer either, I did however realise it wouldn't be smart to say I was thinking about her. So I just said random things, 'everything and nothing' to be specific. Mysterious eh.

That thing about the boy and the shark is bloody funny though, might try it next time.

 

[squirrels]

That time is not the time for thought. Just kiss her.

 

[ARK]

I just read a thread that lead me to this post: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=75235
--------
In particular is this quote:

Originally posted by xblitz44x

Here are your options:

You can continue along the path that you're traveling: both of you stay stubborn, nobody is brave enough to be the better person and put an end to the games, and continue "just dating" and compramising what you *really* want (a genuine relationship) in exchange for staying in this half-ass competitive dating tie. I think the both of us know that you shouldn't have to settle with that.

OR

You can be the one to lead the way and let her know that it's ok to express her feelings. Maybe she's shy, or intimidated, or experiencing the same exact thing that you are. Maybe she wants more but is afraid to move forward because she doesn't know how you feel (because you never talk about it). Maybe she wants to tell you how she feels, but is worried about how you might react (since from her eyes you don't seem to care as much for her as she does you). At some point, SOMEBODY is going to have to take a risk and lead the way.

-Blitz
--------

In hindsight Im beginning to wonder if her asking me "What are you thinking?" is her way of trying to bring the subject of our relationship up. Perhaps she is too timid to bring it up herself because she isnt sure how I feel about her. She does tend to ask me quite a bit. We have been dating for two months now so I don't want to bring it up, but perhaps I can foster an atmosphere to get her to talk about her feelings.

 

[penkitten]

Originally posted by manuva
I hate this bullsh!t question. I usually reply:

"I was thinking... will there ever be a boy born who can swim faster than a shark?"

It shuts em up pretty quick.

awesome !!

 

[treble101]

my ex-gf once asked me that.....i leaned in and kissed her and said, "...this". since then she normally didnt ask me such pointless questions