what are you suggestions on this situation...

[KneghtRyder]

well basicaly shes a waitor at this strip club. And when I was in boston I would go there 2x times a week, she would talk to me.
During the first few weeks,
I was looking real hot, clean shaven and sharp dressed and she is a really hot brunette girl( trust me, I wouldn't be going this much shyt if she wasn't hot), Every guy would just stare at her upon entering the club. But in stead of going to them, she'd stand next to me. In between her servings, she would stand with me and talk to me at the bar. This was a for a few weeks, and I was just really lack-a-daisy in that I didn't realize that she might be interested in a relationship so I would just flirt with the other girls and not really care. She gave me her number after I asked, but I never called it and just went back to the club time again. The things she would playfully say would make it feel like she was my gf. "you cheated on me?'
Well, two weeks back. I moved back to New York and I realized taht she is really into me. I began trying to pursue her, but this time due to the lack of time ; several times I ve come back not so clean shaven and not dressed so sharply. She seemed turned off I guess. In any case, I figured if she was going to be a long term maybe a wife, would she only like me when I am hot and other times when I am not hot would she be turned off as a wife? This happened on two occasions where I met her at the , where instead of flirting with other girls , I just concentrated on talking to her. But unlike last time, she wouldn't come back to me in between her servings and wouldn't come to talk to me exclusively like last few weeks. She'd open with a quick chat and go do her work. last tuesday, i barely talked 2 minutes because she kept moving around.. IT could be that she is really busy with her work. IT could be she no longer is interested in a relationnship with me or has given up on me. It would be I waited too long to pursue her. IT could be that shes just trying to get money off me, she is also a stripper when shes not bartending as well.
This girls caliber is someone I would seriously consider for the long term. However, it weird in that ... when she was interested I didn't realize it. but when I finally did realize it and take action, shes turned off. I guess the only course of action is look hot again and see if she changes to being interested, again, I'd definetly try to make her relationship material, but if not, then I guess I have no longer a relationship there to get and i'll abadon ship.

 

[Interceptor]

Protect your heart at all times.

Do not put too much emotional investment in this.

Do not let her define you or judge you. She does not have that power.

Do not put too much stock in what she says, only what she does.

Put off the mind set of "relationship" or "relationship material" for now.
Just see how it goes. If things go well, then consider if she's worth your time, effort, love, and affection. If not, then you really lost nothing.
Take a Wait and See Approach. Do not go in divie in head first.
You barely know her.
She showed some interest, which unfortunately , you did not capitalize on. No problem. You try again.
Now that she knows that you've made the realization, you've put two and two together, she feels exposed and vulnerable.
Now you're "chasing" her.
Do not "Chase" her.

SImply be exciting, dashing, and funny.
Eventually suggest to get together. Make it casual, but show a playful attitude. Give her value. Ask her about her life, and give a sincere compliiment when it's due.

You may have lost some momentum, she may be feeling a little weird. Who know?s
But you , as a man, cannot be swayed by your insecurities.
DOn't give into your emotions, and fears.

Be a Rock.
Give True value.

Be a Man of high value.

IF she doesn't want you, a least you tried.

Rejection is better than regret.

And you never know, sometimes a "NO" , means "Not right now."


Keep your head and wits about you.

 

[KneghtRyder]

Protect your heart at all times.

Do not put too much emotional investment in this.

Do not let her define you or judge you. She does not have that power.

Do not put too much stock in what she says, only what she does.

Put off the mind set of "relationship" or "relationship material" for now.
Just see how it goes. If things go well, then consider if she's worth your time, effort, love, and affection. If not, then you really lost nothing.
Take a Wait and See Approach. Do not go in divie in head first.
You barely know her.
She showed some interest, which unfortunately , you did not capitalize on. No problem. You try again.
Now that she knows that you've made the realization, you've put two and two together, she feels exposed and vulnerable.
Now you're "chasing" her.
Do not "Chase" her.

SImply be exciting, dashing, and funny.
Eventually suggest to get together. Make it casual, but show a playful attitude. Give her value. Ask her about her life, and give a sincere compliiment when it's due.

You may have lost some momentum, she may be feeling a little weird. Who know?s
But you , as a man, cannot be swayed by your insecurities.
DOn't give into your emotions, and fears.

Be a Rock.
Give True value.

Be a Man of high value.

IF she doesn't want you, a least you tried.

Rejection is better than regret.

And you never know, sometimes a "NO" , means "Not right now."


Keep your head and wits about you.

Interceptor, demn man that was a good post..but your right, she certainly has gotten me emotionally interested ...

 

[DJ1234]

Protect your heart at all times.

Do not put too much emotional investment in this.

Do not let her define you or judge you. She does not have that power.

Do not put too much stock in what she says, only what she does.

Put off the mind set of "relationship" or "relationship material" for now.
Just see how it goes. If things go well, then consider if she's worth your time, effort, love, and affection. If not, then you really lost nothing.
Take a Wait and See Approach. Do not go in divie in head first.
You barely know her.
She showed some interest, which unfortunately , you did not capitalize on. No problem. You try again.
Now that she knows that you've made the realization, you've put two and two together, she feels exposed and vulnerable.

SImply be exciting, dashing, and funny.
Eventually suggest to get together. Make it casual, but show a playful attitude. Give her value. Ask her about her life, and give a sincere compliiment when it's due.

You may have lost some momentum, she may be feeling a little weird. Who know?s
But you , as a man, cannot be swayed by your insecurities.
DOn't give into your emotions, and fears.

Be a Rock.
Give True value.

Be a Man of high value.

IF she doesn't want you, a least you tried.

Rejection is better than regret.

And you never know, sometimes a "NO" , means "Not right now."


Keep your head and wits about you.

Wow, golden advice right here....haven't heard advice this good in a long time...excellent post