What Are You Guys Thinking?

[Gipper]

OK, lets discuss this a little more:

VeryBadGirl:"In some people's mind, the logic is: If the goal is one kick-ass person, then the process involves one person at a time. Societal influence, for sure."

DeepBlue(The Chess Computer?):"There you go. As you say, you've narrowed your selection down to one chick that you enjoy being with. That is exactly what people are talking about when they say "there's this one special girl". At least, that is the way I interpret that statement when I hear it."

Azathoth:"Maybe what people's problems are is that they work themselves up into a frenzy reading all the posts, and tips and DJBible, finally decide to get out there and test out the knowledge they've gained.. get rejected a few times, and when they finally get one who says yes, they throw up their hands and say "YES!! a woman! i dont have to work any more or be alone"

OK: Societal influence, a fear of never finding a "soulmate", or willing to settle for the first positive response that comes along.

This is good. These are the kind of responses I was looking for. Any more thoughts? I hate to get deep and meaningful on a Friday, but it's been gnawing at me.

Gipper



------------------
"There's nothing wrong with letting the girls know you're money, and that you want to party.
-Trent, from "Swingers"

"Keep your girlfriend away from me,
Just advice I’m giving you for free,
Wanna have every thing I see,
So keep your girlfriend away from me..."
-Local H, from "Here Comes The Zoo"

 

[xniceguy]

Maybe I have been brainwashed.

I have no problems dating more than one woman at a time. The difficulty starts when I try to sleep with more than one at a time.

Yeah, I do feel a little morally skeezy banging one one night and another the next. But I'm sure I can work on that feeling if I try.

My problem is how to announce to someone, "Yeah, just because we're sleeping together doesn't mean we're exclusive".

My feelings aside, I think many chicks think that sex=exclusivity. This leaves a few, none-very-good options:

1. Flat out announce that fact (sex != exclusivity). This is talking as opposed to acting, something I'm militantly opposed to. It also wrecks the moment, and you're not likely to get away with it. "What! So I'm good enough to bang but not good enough to stop seeing other people!"

2. Just do it, and try and conceal the other women in your life. What the hell? Why should I hide anything, even if I could get away with it?

3. Just do it and wait for her to freak out on you. Very passive, and not likely to be sucessful.

Anyone have any thoughts on how to manage this problem?



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Chicks don't think. Chicks feel.

 

[VeryBadGirl]

For most women I know, until you have the exclusivity talk, they most likely assume that you are dating other girls besides them.

As far as fear of not finding a a soulmate, I would say that fear is a pretty realistic one. Because there is no such thing as a soulmate.

Many people find a kick-ass person and mistake them for their "soulmate." Then they assume that since they are meant to be or whatever, that the relationship is always going to be as easy as it was for the first 6 months. They don't realize that you have to work at a relationship - work to keep the intimacy, romance, sex, love, kindness, respect, honesty, trust, etc alive everyday.

They don't work at it and then something goes wrong. And they are all confused and sad like "We are soulmates, why did we break up? Waaa!"

And I say, "Duh, because you were dumb and didn't work at it and thought everything was going to fall in place by magic or some sh*t like that."

Ok, sorry that rant went a little off topic.

 

[Gipper]

VeryBadGirl,

I am very impressed at your observation.

Very astute.

Most females believe in the whole "soulmate" concept, yet you don't. Interesting.

Gipper

------------------
"There's nothing wrong with letting the girls know you're money, and that you want to party.
-Trent, from "Swingers"

"Keep your girlfriend away from me,
Just advice I’m giving you for free,
Wanna have every thing I see,
So keep your girlfriend away from me..."
-Local H, from "Here Comes The Zoo"

 

[VeryBadGirl]

Thanks Gipper. Not all women are exactly the same out there.

 

[TheRockStar]

ok well i know im new here but here is what my thoughts are......this whole thing about dating more than one girl has never been my style really and maybe i have been brain washed or whatever but on the other hand i have always been idealistic and believed in love and all that and as far as the two categories that comote stated i would have to fall into both of them i have had a girlfriend and we went out for three years but near the end she turned into a major ***** and ultimately i got burned badly but to every guy i have ever known who comes to me telling me im sick of women and im not gonna take this anymore and forget love and commitment i say put a f***ing band-aid on you p***y.

------------------
Got a drum life?

"No little perv bull**** is gonna work with this one, you gotta play it smooth, be Don Juan de la nootch"- Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back.

 

[u_have_no_clue]

I know few women who have steady boyfriends who are just out for "fun". Most of them just have fuk friends, dial-a-diks (men who give #'s at bars) or may have an open relationship with their fuk friend.

The girls I know who are dating, live with their men. No, they dont want the house and the kids etc etc. but they do want stability, trust and reliability.

 

[Gipper]

Originally posted by TheRockStar:
ok well i know im new here but here is what my thoughts are......this whole thing about dating more than one girl has never been my style really and maybe i have been brain washed or whatever but on the other hand i have always been idealistic and believed in love and all that and as far as the two categories that comote stated i would have to fall into both of them i have had a girlfriend and we went out for three years but near the end she turned into a major ***** and ultimately i got burned badly but to every guy i have ever known who comes to me telling me im sick of women and im not gonna take this anymore and forget love and commitment i say put a f***ing band-aid on you p***y.

Thanks for commenting TheRockStar! Because you are new here makes your comments valuable.

I'm just wondering about the mindset that the newbies have when they say they only date one girl at a time.

You say you might be brainwashed, but by who (whom)?

Being idealistic is OK, but who put these ideas in your head?

Gipper


------------------
"There's nothing wrong with letting the girls know you're money, and that you want to party.
-Trent, from "Swingers"

"Keep your girlfriend away from me,
Just advice I’m giving you for free,
Wanna have every thing I see,
So keep your girlfriend away from me..."
-Local H, from "Here Comes The Zoo"

 

[TheRockStar]

well Gipper i would have to say it is probably mostly the movies i mean look at all those flicks about undying love and love at first sight and how the guy will die for love and all those romantic glizty larger than life heros ya know i mean a steady diet of that stuff will put that idea in your head that that is how love should be you know come in and sweep her off her feet candles all over music pure heaven and all that you know what i mean? or am i not making sense here cause i think i may have lost my train of thought

------------------
Got a drum life?

"No little perv bull**** is gonna work with this one, you gotta play it smooth, be Don Juan de la nootch"- Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back.

 

[Gipper]

No man, you're making sense. Movies are a very powerful forum in this country. Any politcal or social cause can be championed on the silver screen, whether or not it's correct or even makes sense.

And speaking of movies, is "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back" pretty funny?

Gipper

------------------
"There's nothing wrong with letting the girls know you're money, and that you want to party.
-Trent, from "Swingers"

"Keep your girlfriend away from me,
Just advice I’m giving you for free,
Wanna have every thing I see,
So keep your girlfriend away from me..."
-Local H, from "Here Comes The Zoo"

 

[TheRockStar]

also one more thing just crossed my mind....im a twenty year old college student....i have neither the money nor the time to date more than one girl at a time.

------------------
Got a drum life?

"No little perv bull**** is gonna work with this one, you gotta play it smooth, be Don Juan de la nootch"- Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back.

 

[TheRockStar]

and yeah Jay and Silent Bon is awesome. just to give you an idea of how good i thought it was...i own it.

------------------
Got a drum life?

"No little perv bull**** is gonna work with this one, you gotta play it smooth, be Don Juan de la nootch"- Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back.

 

[TheTrimReaper]

Gipper,

I am thinking that more jackasses out there should be worrying about their morality so I can have less competition.

 

[Albion3]

Personally I have a hard time keeping multiple women strait. "Oh ****, did she like purple or red, I can't remember which is which." I'd rather do it right with one then do it wrong with three. It's all personal opinion anyway, which ever way works best for you...

-al

 

[Powertrip]

I've kind of adapted a different approach. I dont usually date more than one woman at a time, because I get bored with myself.

What do I mean? Well, when you're dating 2 or 3 girls, it's like you're always having the same conversations, just with different people. Hell, you might even go to the same place two nights in a row. This makes it a lot less interesting, especially when you also have the certain danger of any of them finding out about the others. It's stress that I dont need. As much as I may like the girl, if she's my second date in as many days, she's not going to get the best I have to offer. It's pretty simple.

I dont believe in "the one", but I think it is in your best interest to date a lot of people before finding a "kick-ass one" to actually share your life with (whether in marriage or not).

 

[Gipper]

Originally posted by TheTrimReaper:
Gipper,

I am thinking that more jackasses out there should be worrying about their morality so I can have less competition.

HAHAHAHAHA!

G.

 

[Gipper]

Originally posted by Powertrip:
I've kind of adapted a different approach. I dont usually date more than one woman at a time, because I get bored with myself.

What do I mean? Well, when you're dating 2 or 3 girls, it's like you're always having the same conversations, just with different people. Hell, you might even go to the same place two nights in a row. This makes it a lot less interesting, especially when you also have the certain danger of any of them finding out about the others. It's stress that I dont need. As much as I may like the girl, if she's my second date in as many days, she's not going to get the best I have to offer. It's pretty simple.

I dont believe in "the one", but I think it is in your best interest to date a lot of people before finding a "kick-ass one" to actually share your life with (whether in marriage or not).

Thanks, Powertrip. That's an interesting take on things that I hadn't considered.

Gipper

------------------
"There's nothing wrong with letting the girls know you're money, and that you want to party.
-Trent, from "Swingers"

"Keep your girlfriend away from me,
Just advice I’m giving you for free,
Wanna have every thing I see,
So keep your girlfriend away from me..."
-Local H, from "Here Comes The Zoo"

 

[penkitten]

just for the record ...
i was just thinking about lunch until i read this post.
now i am thinking about lunch and hotties.
ummm hotties for lunch.......




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i like bacon
i like cheese
i like men when they're on their knees.

 

[Galactus]

Ummm, Penkitten for lunch....

Anyway Gipper, how about this? They're lazy, they don't want to expend the energy to go after more than one chick. But laziness is just fear in disguise. They're intimidated by women, and they don't want to face rejection more than they have to. They get one girl, and decide she's the one. They get dumped, cry a little, eventually get their courage back, go hunting, and repeat the process. Casting a bigger net means risking rejection more than they feel they need to.

------------------
"For anybody who's on the downside of advantage and relying purely on courage... it's possible."
- Russell Crowe

 

[Jake Steed]

Originally posted by xniceguy:
My problem is how to announce to someone, "Yeah, just because we're sleeping together doesn't mean we're exclusive".

First of all, I'd like to add a reason why chumps don't date multiple women. Rockstar pointed out the influence of the media. I would like to point out the influence of girls they know. Most young guys are weak puzzies who hang around with groups of girls hoping to glean knowledge from them to get a girlfriend of their own. Since there's no real men like us in these boys lives for them to look up to, they listen very closely and follow these bytche's philosophies (true love, the one, etc). Pretty soon 19yr old puzzy-boy has adopted a female mentality about relationships--all before he's scored any puzzy himself. These are the very same puzzies who blast me for telling them how it is in the real world.

To answer your question, xniceguy--

What's worked for me in the past is early on in the relationship, she will bring up your past relationships, particularly your last girlfriend. They all do this. That's when you casually say, "I just got out of a relationship, and I'm not in a rush to get back into a committed one right now. I'm just dating and having fun." That's about as clear as you can be without being insulting to her.

WARNING. This is only a temporary solution. Women have the uncanny ability of selective hearing and WILL "forget" you told her this later on after she's fallen in love with you. So you will have some confrontations later down the road. That's when you have to decide if you want to stick to your guns or give her the exclusivity she wants. Dating multiple chicks can only go on for as long as she's comfortable doing it. When that timeframe is over, and you still want other girls, you have to tell her, "I understand where you're coming from. I understand what you want, but I'm not ready for that right now. I don't think we should see each other anymore."

Jake