"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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what are we?

dice

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okay so im a don juan. I have multiple girls. I've read the bible a million times and incorporated it. I'm lost on one thing though. Girls keep asking me "so what are we?" My usual response is "we don't need a label". But the more i bang a girl the more she wants to know exactly what we are. People ask me, "is that your girl?" and i am stumped. What is the correct response to this because "you think you're the only girl im banging?" or "I want to bang other girls besides you" probably wouldn't turn out too well.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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SamePendo

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Ive normally answered the question in a evasive manner, and change subjects to ¨make me a sandwich¨. But, Id be very, very interested in seeing others input on this. I remember someone kind of addressing this in the past, and it came right in time for me to answer the way I have . . .
 

smoke city

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DonJuanForever said:
We are friends with benefits.
That's good when you're 15.

dice: best to just be honest with the girl and whoever asks you about it. just don't use the words "fvck" or "bang" or any reference to sex.
I usually just say: "She's not my girlfriend, but we're hanging out and getting to know each other"

Do it in a mature way that's clear and confident. If you don't feel any guilt about it, then it should be easy. But if you have a hard time saying this...maybe you should ask yourself how honest you're being with her.

Having "multiple girls" is not the same as having a bunch of girls who think they're your one and only girlfriend.
 

NewMan

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I really enjoy spending time with you, but right now I'm not looking for anything serious - that's not to say that this may not develop into that - but right now I'm spending time on improving and establishing myself.... I hope that's not a problem for you, because I'd like to continue to spend time with you.



give or take this is the kind of thing I respond with. I think it conveys several things:

1) I'm not looking for somethign serious
2) I'm spending time on me
3) I will not be available all the time
4) that if she doesn't like this, I will walk.

I like to turn it around onto her in the last sentance - because it tells her that she either excepts these terms or I walk.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Macgyver

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NewMan said:
I really enjoy spending time with you, but right now I'm not looking for anything serious - that's not to say that this may not develop into that - but right now I'm spending time on improving and establishing myself.... I hope that's not a problem for you, because I'd like to continue to spend time with you.



give or take this is the kind of thing I respond with. I think it conveys several things:

1) I'm not looking for somethign serious
2) I'm spending time on me
3) I will not be available all the time
4) that if she doesn't like this, I will walk.

I like to turn it around onto her in the last sentance - because it tells her that she either excepts these terms or I walk.
Sure buddy, keep lying to yourself. You talk the talk, I don't think you walk the walk.
 

belividere

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each of these ways seems like a break up. The real million dollar question for me is why the fvck do people have to ask this anyways? I've ended to many flings because some moron has to go and ask that question when I'm out with a girl I've been fooling with for a few months. Its never like on the second or third week that it gets asked either, always like 2,3, or 4 months down the line.

But yeah I dont have a real good answer to that. I try to make it known early that I am not interested in an LTR and I am dating, or trying to date, other women, but after a couple months girls just start to make the assumption most of the time.
 

flexion_

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I'd just be evasive and throw the question right back at her.

Her: "what are we?"
me: Well we are like Suny and Cher... "I don't know, what do you think?".

If she is asking she already has her answer in her mind and justs want to confirm it with you.
 

girlsarecrazy

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Tell her, "Let's just have fun with this and see where it will take us. I don't know what the future holds at the moment."
 

Panik

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Tell her, "Let's just have fun with this and see where it will take us. I don't know what the future holds at the moment."
That or a version of "How about we just enjoy the present, since neither of us know what's going to happen in the future..." has worked for me like a charm.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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dice

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lets just enjoy the present moment? lol you really say that. Im talking about AFTER the two week point of ****ing a girl. Im talking about when she falls in love with you and keeps asking you IF U COULD **** ANOTHER GIRL WOULD YOU SINCE YOUR NOT MY BOYFRIEND and you know that she loves you and you just clam up bc you have no answer.

One thing that I've learned is that people are different from us. They're all looking for boyfriends/girlfriends. I just feel bad about myself when I think of that point in time where I'm going to have to say to the girl, I don't ever want a relationship I'm just tryin to **** and hang out with new people.
 

DJDamage

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When they start pressing on, maybe its time to let them go.

Its not what she wants but what you want. If it came to a point where this chick made up her mind that she wants an LTR and you don't then let this one loose and replace her. If not then commit to her.

You can't keep this charade forever once they are pressing you.

DJD

P.S I don't remember if it was Anti-dump or someone else but it was brilliant for a short term relationship. If she asks where is this relationship heading you say " stick with me and you will find out" lol.
 

MotoXXX

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wow, what a good question. For me it depends on what point of the scenario this arrises at. less then a month, it is usually "I dont know? what do you think?" turn the response into a question, put the spotlight on them. You will get a good feel for her on where she stands and a true DJ will handle it accordingly. Longer then a month, I will do the same, but if she responds with "I really like you/I have only been with you/some b.s. like" that I will probably cut em loose, or tell them what they want to hear and continuing picking up other chicks just like I had been before she asked it.
 

Mission

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"Listen I think you are a great girl, and I want you there, but I am not ready for an emotional involvement just yet."

--Mission
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

Read more...

Serialized3

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"I'm really not the boyfriend type"

The look on some of the girl's faces when I tell them this after sleeping with them...separates the "bad girls" from the "good girls"
 

Serialized3

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or:
"You don't want a guy like me as your boyfriend. I'm a bad man and nothing but trouble"

basically, just be kind of honest and kind of joking, and tell her that you're not the relationship type (unless you are)

Me, I'm not really the relationship type, but if a girl came along that really impressed me: physically attractive, smart, kind, good values and good chemistry...I'd consider being her exclusive boyfriend.
 
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