What are the WORST things that have happened to you with a woman?

[runner83]

Agreed to be exclusive with this girl I was seeing once...

 

[runner83]

I was drunk out of my mind because of this crazy party. I go to the next bar alone and thought to try and pickup some women. Test some new openinglines me and my mates found funny.

I go up to this girl, I show her my index finger and my middle finger and ask her: Why do girls masturbate with these two fingers?
she goes: Dude wtf, get away from me creep!
me: because they're mine
she: *slaps me*

I turn 90 degrees towards her girlfriend:
me: hi
she: *creeped out*
me: If I was a watermelon, would you eat my seed?
She: *slaps me on the other cheek*

Alwayse good times with good pickuplines...
Bah I hate women with no sense of humor, but it was probebly because I stinked like beer that they instantly lost intrest, let alone how wasted I was... When I returned to the party both my cheeks had a red handform in it, my mates couldn't stop laughing when I told them I field tested the lines and that they work!

:crackup: :crackup: :crackup:

 

[rushing dude 123]

Hmmm this seems like a very interesting thread, prob best one i seen for a while. Best ones i think so far are Credos's double slap and Nimms christmas tree psycho *****. I wish i had some better ones, but I will add mine anyway.

1. I was on a tube and i hit on some chick and she just flipped and started making some massive scene, Then after she just went quiet and I had a look around and i just had a carriage of people just staring at me quietly ....that was the longest trip i had from Liverpool to Bank i had in my life haha.

2. I met some chick in a club and she had some small friend, we got outside and her friend was very drunk and had a lot of attitude and just started picking up fights with every guy around her, Jeez i stop her take away and the guy wants to fight me, i resolve it. Then turn around with a sigh of relief now shes bigging up to some huge mother focker telling him to bring it and then she gets scared and runs behind me I somehow resolve this one as well I don't know how, thinking she learned her lesson I turn around and shes off again. Wow i really liked the girl i was with, but dam crazy little attitude friend is a no no from now on.

3. hmmm some 55 year old masculine German HB 2 on holiday tried to have a threesome with me and my dad. After she got declined she kept stalking me for the rest of the holiday trying to convince me to go with her and her other HB 2 friend. She was very funny though and i warmed up to her, but at the end of every night she would try her luck.

 

[Masculinity]

A girl I took home from the bar got into a slap fight with a hobo. Then this Austrian guy who was with her friend started freaking out and kept shouting, in his Arnie accent "We must get outta here! More are coming! The Chinese they do not fight alone!" .

Hahaha, they think that of Latinos too; I'm Latino myself. :crackup:

 

[WhitePimp]

I broke up with a girl. At a wedding reception. On Valentine's day.

She was bawling in the reception hall, completely causing a scene, whilst all the women were consoling her and glaring at me like I had just sent their loved ones to Bergen-Belsen (to be fair, she was flirting with a bartender a few nights before to make me jealous, and I just lost all interest in her after seeing that, so the breakup was warranted I think).

I said I'm sorry to everyone, had to leave early (all the guys were cheering/clapping for me btw, LOL!), and then the psycho refused to get in the car to leave. I basically started to pull away without her, but she ran to the door and got in when she realized I was going to leave her there.

The car ride home was about an hour and she was screaming at me the whole time, calling me a pvssy, loser, etc. while crying. Meanwhile, I was grinning internally and just saying "okay, sure, whatever, etc." She starts messing with my iPod and I'm scared she's going to throw it out the window so I take it from her and put on the radio. Then Bon Jovi's "Never Say Goodbye" comes on and she fvcking loses it, crying. Of all the goddamn songs that could've played it had to be that one. I threaten to call the cops on her because she's not getting out of my car when we get back to her house, and we eventually part ways.

I proceed to get psycho texts from her for the next few months (she also staged a fight with some dude outside my job to get my attention, WTF!?). Last I heard, she was with some real old dude who looks like a crackhead. Sucks too. This girl was gorgeous, just unfortunately insane.

 

[Masculinity]

I broke up with a girl. At a wedding reception. On Valentine's day.

She was bawling in the reception hall, completely causing a scene, whilst all the women were consoling her and glaring at me like I had just sent their loved ones to Bergen-Belsen (to be fair, she was flirting with a bartender a few nights before to make me jealous, and I just lost all interest in her after seeing that, so the breakup was warranted I think).

I said I'm sorry to everyone, had to leave early (all the guys were cheering/clapping for me btw, LOL!), and then the psycho refused to get in the car to leave. I basically started to pull away without her, but she ran to the door and got in when she realized I was going to leave her there.

The car ride home was about an hour and she was screaming at me the whole time, calling me a pvssy, loser, etc. while crying. Meanwhile, I was grinning internally and just saying "okay, sure, whatever, etc." She starts messing with my iPod and I'm scared she's going to throw it out the window so I take it from her and put on the radio. Then Bon Jovi's "Never Say Goodbye" comes on and she fvcking loses it, crying. Of all the goddamn songs that could've played it had to be that one. I threaten to call the cops on her because she's not getting out of my car when we get back to her house, and we eventually part ways.

I proceed to get psycho texts from her for the next few months (she also staged a fight with some dude outside my job to get my attention, WTF!?). Last I heard, she was with some real old dude who looks like a crackhead. Sucks too. This girl was gorgeous, just unfortunately insane.

My thread came back to liiiife, haha!

Incredible story White Pimp. Definitely one of the top five in this thread!
Why did she want to make you jealous though? breaking up with someone over flirting sound a little over-reacting.

 

[Masculinity]

I broke up with a girl. At a wedding reception. On Valentine's day.

She was bawling in the reception hall, completely causing a scene, whilst all the women were consoling her and glaring at me like I had just sent their loved ones to Bergen-Belsen (to be fair, she was flirting with a bartender a few nights before to make me jealous, and I just lost all interest in her after seeing that, so the breakup was warranted I think).

I said I'm sorry to everyone, had to leave early (all the guys were cheering/clapping for me btw, LOL!), and then the psycho refused to get in the car to leave. I basically started to pull away without her, but she ran to the door and got in when she realized I was going to leave her there.

The car ride home was about an hour and she was screaming at me the whole time, calling me a pvssy, loser, etc. while crying. Meanwhile, I was grinning internally and just saying "okay, sure, whatever, etc." She starts messing with my iPod and I'm scared she's going to throw it out the window so I take it from her and put on the radio. Then Bon Jovi's "Never Say Goodbye" comes on and she fvcking loses it, crying. Of all the goddamn songs that could've played it had to be that one. I threaten to call the cops on her because she's not getting out of my car when we get back to her house, and we eventually part ways.

I proceed to get psycho texts from her for the next few months (she also staged a fight with some dude outside my job to get my attention, WTF!?). Last I heard, she was with some real old dude who looks like a crackhead. Sucks too. This girl was gorgeous, just unfortunately insane.

My thread came back to liiiife, haha!

Incredible story White Pimp. Definitely one of the top five in this thread!
Why did she want to make you jealous though? breaking up with someone over flirting sound a little over-reacting.

 

[WhitePimp]

My thread came back to liiiife, haha!

Incredible story White Pimp. Definitely one of the top five in this thread!
Why did she want to make you jealous though? breaking up with someone over flirting sound a little over-reacting.

I have no idea why she'd want to make me jealous. Psychopathy perhaps? We were out with my friends at a bar, and one of my friends comes up to me and says "the chick you're here with is flirting with the bartender, and it looks like she's trying to get his number"...I look over and there she was doing exactly that. I just lost all interest in her then and there to be honest. We weren't even dating that long, but still, my feelings just emptied for her after that. No regrets. I'm glad I crushed her.

 

[Atom Smasher]

I was 16 years old and had just finished doing the wrestling coach's daughter.

All of a sudden, Mom came home out of nowhere. Girlfriend ran into bathroom, Mom caught a glimpse of me in the bedroom fastening my belt. She stayed upstairs, called her daughter, asked her to have me leave.

At home I was sweating bullets, waiting for that phone call, which never came.

Her father was my phys ed teacher, and you could hear it in his voice when my name came up in roll call.

We were learning wrestling and he paired me up with one of the meanest, toughest kids in the school. Our match ended in a draw (not sure if that's the right term), and I gained newfound respect from my peers, all of whome were afraid of him.

But I'll never forget sitting at that kitchen table waiting for that dreaded phone call from her parents.

 

[davewe]

Worst thing that ever happened with a woman? I married two of them.

 

[the_great_gaia]

The worst thing to ever happen to me was...

In 2005, I was in a LTR with this HB7 for about 2 years; she totally owned my b@lls and had all the power and total control over me, and i had INSANE oneitis for this chic. On one particular day, she tells me to come meet her downtown and bring 2 of my closest friends. I did exactly as she told me. She told me to meet her at the City's Jail and Courthouse, and I do. Basically, she had me before a magistrate, and pretty much said that we are getting married RIGHT THEN and THERE. My friends exploded in laughter, and then she threatened me with an ultimatum: marry me or it's over. My 2 friends (who are brothers), made a wager on what I'd say when the magistrate would ask me "Do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?" Because I was powerless, I said "I do", and they again erupted in laughter. And btw, I never signed any marriage documents; she forged everything in my name. She ended up filing for divorce a month later because she wanted to file me under her taxes to get a better profit, and I refused. I was able to get the whole thing annulled.. that was horrible. ugh!