What are the Plate rules? + a scenario

[jafyk]

I'm building up plates however most of the time on this forum I hear when a girl disses you you should next her. So, if each time a plate flakes and you next her how do you build up your plate collection? lol, plate collection. Anyway, this girl I met a few weeks ago. I got her # also added her on facebook. She says she doesn't have caller ID on her cell and she doesn't have voice mail either. Anyway, after the first time we hung out (we did it by the way). Since she lived in another city I called 40 mins later to make sure she got back ok ( i deliberated with myself on if this was the right course of action) I couldn't decide so I called...normally in the past I'd just ask the girl to call me when she got back to let me know she made it back ok. I was told you're supposed to call so that's why I called. Anyway, she didn't pick up the phone. I called her again some days later and then left her a message on facebook "Just so you know I called you". I gave her a few days then deleted her # and off of my facebook list. She replied a few days ago saying that she hardly answers her phone because it's expensive bla bla... something along those lines. Anyway, I haven't responded. I deleted her contact info because when girls don't respond in a timely matter I assume they have either lost interest or are just disrespecting me and I next them. Is this the right approach? So, how does one build a plate collection in this type of situations? Are there any rules?

 

[jafyk]

Nexting seems to be the big mantra on this site. I've never agreed with it. Nexting is never about the girl, it is about you. It is an emotional expression of your disappointment. I don't next women. If they misbehave, I simply transfer the energy and resources I used to apply to them to another spinning plate. And when they finally crack from the pressure of no longer receiving your validation and contact you, you are in the position of power. Then make her work hard to win back your attention. But knowing that she's flaked before, you make her do ALL the work; because the beauty is, that when a chick has to chase and work to get you, she has no choice but to feel attraction. It sets this scenario up wonderfully. In the end, if she does win back a slice of your attention, great; enjoy, if not, your out nothing. Don't next, simply transfer. Now if a chick is a whack job, go ahead and next her. Not because you are hurt, but because you've identified that she isn't up to your standards.

I've actually found that the best chicks I've had have come from when I cut them loose at one point. It sets up the work hard/chase scenario that establishes you as the prize. Flow like water.

Thank you Dons, I will keep this in mind. I've also applied what you said above in the past the funny thing is it hits me why I deleted that # in the first place.

 

[WC2]

The beauty of plates is that even if you next them, they tend to come back in the most unlikely of times. I can't tell you how many times I've been sitting on my couch on a monday night when my phone rings and some girl who i haven't talked to in months tries to make her way back into my life.

In your situation, you need to learn not to smother. You said it yourself, she is a plate- so treat her life a plate. Eat off it and put it away till the food is on the table again.

There's no need for these calls the day after asking her if she got back alright. I'm not sadistic, but I just don't care about some girl I've known for a few days and just laid the pipe to. Maybe she'll deserve that call down the road when she does me favors and shows me that she is worth the hassle.

If you're spinning plates looking for relationships, you're bound to find nothing. If you spin plates and throw them back in the cabinet when you're done, then you'll have plenty of them for later use. Whether you want to proceed and take it farther is your call- but you can't change a one night stand into something more so quick; we call that needy.

 

[Jitterbug]

jafyk, I've had a few plates with the same BS regarding phone usage. They probably read the same chick magazine. They're a waste of time.

 

[jafyk]

The beauty of plates is that even if you next them, they tend to come back in the most unlikely of times. I can't tell you how many times I've been sitting on my couch on a monday night when my phone rings and some girl who i haven't talked to in months tries to make her way back into my life.

In your situation, you need to learn not to smother. You said it yourself, she is a plate- so treat her life a plate. Eat off it and put it away till the food is on the table again.

There's no need for these calls the day after asking her if she got back alright. I'm not sadistic, but I just don't care about some girl I've known for a few days and just laid the pipe to. Maybe she'll deserve that call down the road when she does me favors and shows me that she is worth the hassle.

If you're spinning plates looking for relationships, you're bound to find nothing. If you spin plates and throw them back in the cabinet when you're done, then you'll have plenty of them for later use. Whether you want to proceed and take it farther is your call- but you can't change a one night stand into something more so quick; we call that needy.

I see your point. Sometimes it's just that you meet a girl and you're not sure what category to put her in yet? If you feel there might be something more in the future shouldn't one do things to keep the girl around. Ok, maybe I've got something mixed up here but i thought plates could be potential FB, LTR, etc? So, if you went out on a date with a girl you're saying, you just say goodbye and don't call her? If she came over to your place at night and she's driving back not make sure she got back ok. Which in my thinking shows you give a damn. I think that if you don't see that she gets back ok she might take it like you're not interested. Ok, let me make this simple, if you spend quality time with a girl for the first time do you or do you not call her first later? And how long before you do so?

 

[WC2]

I see your point. Sometimes it's just that you meet a girl and you're not sure what category to put her in yet? If you feel there might be something more in the future shouldn't one do things to keep the girl around. Ok, maybe I've got something mixed up here but i thought plates could be potential FB, LTR, etc? So, if you went out on a date with a girl you're saying, you just say goodbye and don't call her? If she came over to your place at night and she's driving back not make sure she got back ok. Which in my thinking shows you give a damn. I think that if you don't see that she gets back ok she might take it like you're not interested. Ok, let me make this simple, if you spend quality time with a girl for the first time do you or do you not call her first later? And how long before you do so?

Jay -

I'm not saying that relationships can't come out of plates.. where the hell else would they come from?

The idea is not to go into things looking for relationships. Besides the fact that being single is MUCH better, you also wreak of desperation. As an ample man, the majority of your time should be spent on you, not on trying to force a relationship. Not only does forcing never work, but it's a giant waste of time.

It's fine to take a gal seriously after you've been seeing her for awhile, but after the first date is a little creepy in all honesty.

While your mind might tell you that calling this girl endlessly and letting her know you care will improve your chances, it's very far from the truth. Women do not prefer being chased, they like chasing. If she is interested then eventually she will start chasing, believe me. At that point, you can make an educated decision whether this chick is worth it.

For now have fun and explore many different women. Trust me, I've been in your shoes looking for a relationship to no avail. It's not till you start having fun and stop worrying about finding a woman that a woman eventually finds you. Thats' right, a woman finds you.

Start looking at it like that as opposed to YOU looking for a woman.

 

[typical]

Nexting seems to be the big mantra on this site. I've never agreed with it. Nexting is never about the girl, it is about you. It is an emotional expression of your disappointment. I don't next women. If they misbehave, I simply transfer the energy and resources I used to apply to them to another spinning plate. And when they finally crack from the pressure of no longer receiving your validation and contact you, you are in the position of power. Then make her work hard to win back your attention. But knowing that she's flaked before, you make her do ALL the work; because the beauty is, that when a chick has to chase and work to get you, she has no choice but to feel attraction. It sets this scenario up wonderfully. In the end, if she does win back a slice of your attention, great; enjoy, if not, your out nothing. Don't next, simply transfer. Now if a chick is a whack job, go ahead and next her. Not because you are hurt, but because you've identified that she isn't up to your standards.

I've actually found that the best chicks I've had have come from when I cut them loose at one point. It sets up the work hard/chase scenario that establishes you as the prize. Flow like water.

Thats almost the same as nexting, as your now going to spend your time on other plates instead of this one. If and when old plate wants some more attention its now your ball game and you call all the shots, having said that once you do next a plate chances are it was the best thing you done and the plate wil most likely not come back, as either you bore her or she bores you.

If they do come back its a huge red flag as it means sh'es run out of options and is getting desperate for a guy to hang out with, sorry I dont date desperate women.

 

[jafyk]

While your mind might tell you that calling this girl endlessly and letting her know you care will improve your chances, it's very far from the truth. Women do not prefer being chased, they like chasing. If she is interested then eventually she will start chasing, believe me. At that point, you can make an educated decision whether this chick is worth it.

WC2, like I said she told me she didn't have caller ID on her prepaid phone (which sounds odd) So, that's why I called a few times cos if what she was saying is true there's no way she'd know I called if she missed the call. You didn't answer my question though. So, after the first date, don't call the woman back????? And if women don't like to be chased why do they play hard to get? Some of the advice on sosuave are confusing. Is it that western woman don't like to be chased? because I notice most African women play hard to get much more compared to Western ones. So, does sosuave.com in general apply to the Western culture?

 

[true romance]

I think that you must chase a bit at the beginning ( general rules ) we are the hunter.

You can suggest a few get togethers. If she interested will call and set up another meeting to replicate. If she does not return your call or flakes then you already know what to do..

women has more choice that men, especially when they are hot. Your job is show her a good time, set yourself different from other guys..

 

[verysuave]

so.. BELOW is one of THE building blocks for "PLATE SPINNING"??

The beauty of plates is that even if you next them, they tend to come back in the most unlikely of times. I can't tell you how many times I've been sitting on my couch on a monday night when my phone rings and some girl who i haven't talked to in months tries to make her way back into my life.

In your situation, you need to learn not to smother. You said it yourself, she is a plate- so treat her life a plate. Eat off it and put it away till the food is on the table again.

There's no need for these calls the day after asking her if she got back alright. I'm not sadistic, but I just don't care about some girl I've known for a few days and just laid the pipe to. Maybe she'll deserve that call down the road when she does me favors and shows me that she is worth the hassle.

If you're spinning plates looking for relationships, you're bound to find nothing. If you spin plates and throw them back in the cabinet when you're done, then you'll have plenty of them for later use. Whether you want to proceed and take it farther is your call- but you can't change a one night stand into something more so quick; we call that needy.

 

[Sandow]

So, after the first date, don't call the woman back????? And if women don't like to be chased why do they play hard to get? Some of the advice on sosuave are confusing. Is it that western woman don't like to be chased? because I notice most African women play hard to get much more compared to Western ones. So, does sosuave.com in general apply to the Western culture. QUOTE]

Absolutely. Never call her after the first date. Also, when saying goodbye, whether it be at her house or in your car, never say I'll call you or anything along those lines. Just say goodbye and that's it. This is very IMPORTANT. It will make you stand out. And make you look like you have lots of confidence.

Of course women love to be chased, they love attention. However there being chased by a bunch of AFC's. DJ's dont necessarily chase, but we do pursue. The difference is that chasing looks desperate, but pursuing is done with confidence, like you dont give a damn if you get her or not. Because you have tons of other girls you can get So they do like to be chased, but not from the ones they like. You have to be a challenge.

LAst thing, guys fall for girls right away. Within the first few dates, guys can be head over heels for a girl. However, for girls, it takes a lot longer. Sometimes it takes 20 dates for them to really start liking a guy. Thats why
they seem so aloof in the beginning. So don't let this bother you. It just takes em awhile to start falling for ya. That is if you have DJ skills.

I can keep going on. But there is plenty on this site.

 

[Dole]

jafyk, I've had a few plates with the same BS regarding phone usage. They probably read the same chick magazine. They're a waste of time.

LOL:rock:

 

[Scars]

I think guys on here jump the gun too fast on "nexting". Unless a girl flat out out disrespects me thats when I next them. If a girl flakes then maybe her IL just isnt that high enough yet, or she was just busy. Girls like consistancy but they don't want you to be needy either. There's been girls that I'm glad I kept consistant with them because I ended up getting with them later in the long run, and they were some of the best girls I ever hooked up with. But if a girl continuesly flakes, without even giving a reason and ultimately waists your time then I think thats a red flag right there. It's just a matter of weeding out those girls between the legitamently busy girls or the girls you might have to try a little harder to get with.